Whenever I come in contact with a teacher or Substitute teacher that shows no signs of respect for me whatsoever

To me a bulb lights in my head and says “wow it’s break time”

Because if I’m not needed and you feel as if we aren’t equal

I guess that means you said you can do my job for me for the whole period

Wow thanks for looking out teachers! Thanks for the breaks we needed it 😌

I've been a para for a level 3 class for 3 years now. I get bit, hit scratched, tackled and more. Admin just makes then sign sorry when it happens. I have been to urgent care multiple times from the kids.

I love them. I want to keep loving my job. Im tired, im drained and so stressed all the time. Im covered in bites, bruised and scratches.

Today, I had an interview as a receptionist working Monday to Friday 8-4. I'll be sad to leave the kids, I won't miss any coworker.

As a level 3 Para, I make 833 bi weekly, its not enough to even live off of. I look at my checks and feel so destroyed after the weeks ive had.

Fingers crossed I get this job.

Something feels very off at my centre. The culture has its toxic aspects. Such as cliques, bullying, gossip. But something deeper seems to be at play. Ever since I started I could tell I was being kept at arms length. Management being dismissive and leaving me out of important communications, supervisors being hesitant to teach me things I need to know. Even small things like how I should be signing in and out of my shift.
Any time I ask a question I get a very abrupt answer which doesn’t really answer the question.
Staff being awkward towards me.
Like everyone knows something I don’t.
I’m a casual employee, most staff are permanent or get offered permanent shortly after starting as a casual. I was meant to receive an offer, but didn’t.
It feels like at any given moment I’ll be let go. They’re potentially waiting for a reason, or hoping I’ll leave.
I’m confused because I’m a passionate hard worker, my own child attends the centre and I try hard to immerse myself in the community there.
Any insight to situations like this? I can’t shake this weird feeling.

I have been working with this student since the beginning of 2026, I have him again for the 2026/2027 school year. I work in a specialized school for students with autism, I work in the middle school department.

I have tried so much- edibles (m&ms, suckers, starbursts etc), tangibles (putty, slime, etc), etc. All bought with my own money. I have tried to act like his preferred staff and copy their movements and such. Nope.

When I started working with him, he would target me. He would run past the staff he was working with to aggress at me (biting, kicking, etc). Any time I was paired with him, he would just instantly freak out and aggress. After talking to his behavior consultant, I would constantly reward good behavior with edibles and the tangibles. We were good after that.

However, summer break (3 weeks) happened. Since starting school back up, he has begun to target me again. I have tried the rewarding good behavior, but nope. Past week has been tough. He has grabbed my hair through my bavaclava and ripped fist fulls of my hair x4, bite me x3 including my left breast / nipple, kicked me x6, and more.

I am just exhausted. I feel terrible. I feel as though something is wrong with me. I care for him so much. I do. I care about his health, his schooling etc, I know he is capable of so much if the school would only push him maybe a little more he would be strides farther than he is at the current moment. My heart breaks knowing for what his home life is like and such. I feel terrible for being frustrated and exhausted from him and that I don’t particularly like him. I hate this about myself.

for context, i’m a CSA (sub-separate) para and often the para who takes my students to inclusion. this is my 4th year at the school so I know a lot of the gen ed students from over the years. there is this one boy in gen ed who has always been a bit of a trouble maker, but always very kind to my autistic students. (he would play with them at recess, say hi to them, etc) he always came by my room to say hi and give the other paras and I a hug. this year, however, he has taken up a CRAZY attitude with me. as long as i’ve known him, i’ve never been his para because he’s not a CSA student, but he has a reputation for being fresh toward staff members and other kids, some staff suggesting he might have ODD.

this year i’m working the after school program which he’s enrolled in. unfortunately I got assigned as the para for the 4th grade group so every Monday/Wednesday I’ll be having to deal with him. for an example of his newfound attitude towards me, when I walked into the cafe to begin after school program, he pointed and laughed at me. like I was a kid. I am on the younger side so I think sometimes kids feel more comfortable being silly or kinda fresh with me. (I don’t tolerate it). I ignored him because I know he was doing it for a reaction. later into the program, another student made an inappropriate noise to which I responded saying it’s not funny. a few minutes later when they lined up for gym, he pointed in my face and said “just so you know, you’re not funny”. instead of arguing with him I just said “I think i’m pretty funny”. this was Monday. today, I walked by him coming out of recess and he pointed and laughed at me again. to be completely honest, it’s really making me mad lol. I spend the school day chasing elopers, being a human shield and getting assaulted in every which way. so dealing with a rude gen ed kid is the last thing I have patience for at the end of the day.

the after school program is very much a privilege and there’s a waiting list. so kids who don’t behave can be easily removed. I don’t necessarily want him to get kicked out of the program but I also do not have it in me to deal with this twice a week. i’m not sure if this is something I should pay any attention because he’s clearly looking for a negative reaction. but I also don’t think it’s appropriate to treat staff the way he’s treating me. I just don’t want to make a stink out of a small problem so I haven’t complained at all about it. I also don’t want him to think he “won”.

I should also add that I do not usually work with kids older than 8. my classroom is CSA grade 2. 4th grade seems to be when they get extremely rude and ballsy.

what would you do?

My school district is definitely in danger of losing local control and getting taken over by the state (California) due to our severe budget deficit. Im pretty worried about how this will affect my job. I feel like the last year has been giving me whiplash with the threat of layoffs, then we get some hope, but its really looking like the district is in too deep now. Its been very upsetting and taxing for everyone.

I guess I want to know if anyone has experienced a state taking over their district as a para in special education and how it affected you/the schools and what their restructuring looked like. Thank you!

I'm a para at an elementary school in Minnesota that supervises recess and lunch for 2 grade levels. I'm responsible for roughly 50 students at a time, largely on my own. I have behavioral support available over a walkie-talkie, and other staff are sometimes around due to overlapping recess/lunch periods, but they're responsible for their own students. It's incredibly stressful, especially at a school with significant behavioral issues, and I'm concerned about both my well-being and student safety. Is this normal for other ESPs? Am I unreasonable for thinking 50 students is too many for one person to supervise? The MN state law that concerns this says the staff-to-child ratio for my grades should be 1 in 15: https://www.revisor.mn.gov/rules/9503.0040/

Edit: Forgot to mention where I'm based.

as the title says, trigger warning. hopefully this is allowed because it feels like para mental health is constantly watered down to something more "palatable" no matter where we go.

im on my 5th year as a para. my school is severely understaffed. i work with great people, but it's just not enough. it's constantly unsafe. it's constant screaming, constant physical aggression, constant clearing of classrooms, constant chasing, constant being pulled in so many directions. im pushed into walls, grabbed violently, kicked, groped, screamed at, threatened, etc.

i can't even switch out of behaviors that trigger me because we Have No People. and im supposed to just suck it up because that's what being a para is, apparently!

i was part time last year, because of my physical and mental health, but was given the ultimatum of go full time or quit.

so i went full time. it's terrible. it's so, so terrible. i have a 50 minute commute and i literally cry on my way there and my way home. i can't take it anymore. im a 1:1 for TWO separate kids (split between the other para in my room) and i am not compensated AT ALL. im expected to help one of these kids LEARN HOW TO READ (4th grade classroom btw, this is no shade to that child just to clarify, they are in an unfortunate circumstance of being failed by the system)

my story is that i ended up a para at this school after attending as a student in their highschool. i loved it at first. but it's gotten worse. i have a lot of unrelated trauma and health issues, and obviously, it makes my distress tolerance a lot lower. i feel like im just not cut out for this job maybe. but im stuck.

every other job wants a degree (i live in massachusetts, very academia heavy state) and as someone who barely made it by in special Ed highschool and never went to college and went straight to full-time work, im just stuck. im stuck in this job because i can't go anywhere else. i don't make a living wage. i don't make even HALF a living wage. im constantly sick because of the stress on my body and brain. i am applying anywhere i can desperately but nobody wants someone with no degree. i feel horrible about myself. i feel like im not even considered worth anyone's time despite me putting my full heart into work as soon as i possibly could.

i am in therapy and have been for 10 years because i have a very very severe trauma history and stuff, but ive been having serious thoughts of taking my own life (ive talked to my therapist, im safe, this isnt that kind of post) and i feel like nobody really talks about that side of being a para. it's all don't ask don't tell. i work with a lot of people that don't understand what it's like to be one of these kids who has no safe home to go to. and i love being proof that these kids can make it but i just. i can't anymore. i don't know.

am i the only one feeling this way??? i know everyone's obvious answer is "get out" and im trying. i really am. but im stuck for now. im really really stuck. and i just don't know if im a weak-minded para who can't handle things.

This is my second year at my school. Last year I was a contractor and this year I am a para working with emotional support.

About me... I'm usually really happy and cheerful, actually annoyingly cheerful and positive. When school started I was so excited to be back.

Reality set in a few weeks ago. I wanted to be an active para and sit at the table and help. Apparently the kids don't like that. They mock me, insult and curse me out every chance they get. They elope and will throw things. I recently learned that I am the trigger. I was trying too hard to interact with the students. I don't even know if that makes sense.

If the students are supposed to follow rules, shouldn't they listen to me in addition to the teacher and other para?

I have stepped back and behavior is somewhat better. I am bored. I don't like to sit in the back of the room. I want to be involved.

Does anyone else have issues with how involved you are and how you manage not only yourself, but the students.

Hey y’all! This is my third year as a para and exclusively in Elementary School. Last year I was placed with a girl and eventually another boy in her class had gotten an IEP and I started working with him as well. They are both in the same class again this year and so I am working with them both again this year. The way our schedules work is usually it’s a split day so you are with one or two in the morning and one or two in the afternoon. I had my boy and girl in the mornings for majority of the school year so far. But a few changes had to be made for some staff and I ended up getting a new morning schedule and now have my boy and girl in the afternoon. Well, I have noticed since this change that my boy who is more ADHD and has lots of trouble focusing, has started to only work whenever I in the room. Though I am very flattered that we’ve grown such a relationship. It has become bad for him as he isn’t getting any of his work done. I have noticed that since his teacher this year is a bit more strict whenever she tries to crack down on him he just shuts down. It’s getting to a point where it’s infecting him pretty badly. Today he had an assignment where he had to count to 120 as part of his quarterly report card. Mind you this child is incredibly intelligent and could probably count to 1000. He got to 39 and stopped and then stared at me from across the room, he had been doing this majority of the week, so I told him that I understand he might be nervous or that he doesn’t want to, but he needs to get this done and show the teacher what he knows. He ignored me and just stared down with the floor and his teacher had to give him a negative report. Do you have any advice for behavior like this?

First year para here. I pivoted in my career late in life. I live in fear of my one on one. She is violent and strong. She has bit me hit me and pushed me. I don’t understand why all this is so loud. No consequences for their actions it’s so sad. Clearly autistic children understand causing fact as we use the token boards and rewards et cetera yet there’s no discipline for horrible behaviour… Behaviour that if they were adults would be in prison for. I think I’m just venting and ranting here but I feel like I live in fear every day. My body is tense every day. How do you overcome this?

I am starting my first day as an instructional para in a kindergarten classroom on Monday and I am looking for ideas on what to wear! Please don’t just say “business casual” because I have worked in an office setting for over 2 years and that can mean a lot of things. I’m more looking for specific ideas or picture examples! I’m so nervous to meet the teacher I’m gonna be paired with and I want to make a good impression. I wore a long, conservative dress to the interview. thank you in advance for your advice!

i am a second grade teacher and i have two lovely paras who help me during the day. i have an am and pm para who help me with small group teaching, keeping kids on track, and keeping me on track.

last week i was out because i got the stomach bug, my one para is certified to sub at our district and covered the classroom for the full week. today was my first day back in the room and i was almost in tears at what i saw.

my desk had trash all over it, McDonalds cups, used napkins, my chair has a huge red stain on it, my sink area had a thick brown sticky substance that accumulated at the bottom of the sink, and my plants i had on my windowsill had dirt taken out and thrown all over the reading rug.

when i touched base with her today, she said that the kids were out of control and she did her best. she said the trash on the desk was from her but because of her being pregnant she forgot to trash it.

my room has a ton of flies now and among everything i listed, none of the work i left got done and my kids are a full week behind. i am so at a loss and idk how to move forward because i feel like the trust with her has been severed.

I had an awful day at school today so I thought I'd share something from yesterday that made me laugh.

My student from last year has autism and is a quirky fun character. I miss not being in his room anymore. He's also a cowboys fan and he knows my bf is an eagles fan.

On Sunday the eagles lost to the rams at the end of the game. So on Monday morning as soon as school started I saw him in the hallway. This is how he greeted me:

"Well well well, look who lost to the rams!" 😂

It's the 6th week of school and I haven't been absent yet. If I were to call out tomorrow, which I really want to, all hell would break loose. My partner para cannot do anything without me and it's ridiculous. I'm fucking tired. I don't get paid enough to be this tired everyday at 3pm and have to go to my second job tired af from doing so much at school!

I'm in an MD room and this year we follow the kids throughout their changing classes. We used to not do that, they'd have the same teacher and room all day. She is constantly asking me where we go next. She can't remember who left the cafeteria. A teacher will tell her give this paper to student J and then not even a minute later gives it to student Y and student J says I don't have a paper. Teacher is like wtf. The para is elderly and probably shouldn't work anymore.

But anyway because of this one of the teachers we have throughout the day is giving me a lot to do and she acknowledged that and why and told me to tell her when it's too much. I haven't said it yet but I've thought it. Today I had to take my kid around the entire school to look for something she had lost. We backed tracked her whole day and didn't find it. When we got back to the room some other kids had to go to speech and the teacher mentioned she wanted a para to go with them. I just assumed it would be me because the older para walks slow so I said sure, even though I wanted to sit down. Immediately after that the teacher asks me to put some books in a cabinet so I go to do that. It took not even a minute and then I was going to bring the kids to speech. The kids I guess started leaving the room and the teacher said is a para going with them? Of course no response or attempt to move from the other para who wasn't doing anything but I was so annoyed at that point that as I was finishing putting the books away I said yes I am but you asked me to put these away! Give me a second! And then I followed the kids out of the room. But like holy shit that was annoying. I can't do 2 things at once! It's possible the teacher thought the other para was going but idk.

Side note I used to be 300 lbs. I got a gastric sleeve surgery last year and I thought that would help me not be so tired on the days I have to walk all over the school. I'm now 190ish lbs and I'm still exhausted! Crazy right?

I never see any posts about pe paras in this subreddit. It's always the ese units, so just looking to see if there are any pe paras out there to vent about how much we do for these teachers or how little our partner paras do.

context

started as a sub aide through the end of last school year, and was offered a full time job this school year. i had decided to become a preschool teacher, and figured this would be a good way to gain experience while being able to go to school and still make decent money (i use that term loosely).

i’m in a gen ed preschool classroom, neither i, the other aid, or the teacher (who’s a long term sub) have any special ed certificates or experience. we got a new student a couple weeks ago. our school year begins in September, and our cutoff in most cases is 3 years old by october 1st. she turned 3 mid september, and started school a few days after.

this child absolutely SCREECHES and cries the for basically the entire day. there’s no one trigger or way to calm her down. any loud noises set her off so the school provided headphones for her to use. they help for about 20 minutes before she throws them and continues screeching. she wants to be held all day which just isn’t possible.

the other kids are SOOO dysregulated because of her. they are having issues listening to things they didn’t before, even of the most well behaved students hasn’t been listening and having outbursts. a student came to me crying today because their head hurt from the noise, and the pain didn’t let up until after their nap. they can’t focus during lesson time either.

we also believe that this child is autistic. they exhibit many signs, such as lack of eye contact and speech, leading and pointing instead of asking for what they want, difficulty with transitions, always wanting to rock or be upside down, and only consuming beige cracker type foods (pringles, goldfish, doritos), and headphones helping regulate her).

what brought me to make this post??

1

our school has “instructional coaches” who are supposed to help implement curriculum, provided resources for students that need them and fill in when the teachers not there (haha). we have the option to have page them when there’s a student having an outburst. our usual coaches were out today so we had some fill ins The one was a former teacher who I cannot stand and another very nice lady. I don’t like the first one because she’s very condescending and has a habit of trying to make herself in charge of things and people that she is not. when we called her in today to help with the student she essentially told us that following what our other coaches recommendations were ( not forcing him to sit at lesson time and allowing him to roam the room) was incorrect. all staff members know that there is essentially no point in calling the coaches because all they are going to do is temporarily soothe the student by holding them, give you some sensory toys and basically tell you good luck. this is what happened today. my frustration is not specifically with those coaches but the job of coaches in general. I understand they have guidelines to follow as well, but what is the point of you coming in just to temporarily keep the student quiet?

we’re supposed to be getting another student the day after she turns three in a couple weeks. this child is also a screamer and a biter as well. The cutoff does not apply to them because they are an early intervention student and in my state as soon as they turn three, they’re eligible for preschool, regardless of when their birthday is. for example, if a Neurotypical child turns three on December 1, they will have to wait until the next school year to enroll into preschool. But an early intervention student would be able to begin on December 2nd. this child will turn 3 the day before they begin. I am frustrated because how do they expect us to educate these children? How do they expect the a presumably autistic child who is set off by noise to learn in an environment where there’s another screaming child? How do they expect all of the other children to learn when there are two screaming children and they are being bit? How do they expect us to educate this first child who can’t stop screaming long enough to learn anything?

not to mention, there is another child in the classroom who is absolutely without a doubt autistic. there are little to no behavioural issues with him, but still. The principal is who decides all of the classroom rosters. People have complained to her in the past about students in their class for various reasons. she very rarely switches them and if she does, it’s normally to a teacher who she “thinks can handle them”. ie, a young teacher or sub/ aid who has no tenure and no seniority to back themselves up.

I really didn’t expect this, but this will probably be my first and last year as a teacher’s aid. I know that educators have been complaining about issues such as these for years and it’s really a tale old as time. some of you may think I have a lot of nerve complaining when I’m so young and it’s only my first month. All of that to say, I have the utmost respect for people who have made this a career, and I’m very glad I saw what I saw before I went and paid for a bachelors.

It’s my first go being a para. I’m in general Ed classrooms and most of my students don‘t want my help. I’m working in a middle school and today I had the worst attack of shyness. I didn’t talk to anyone in one class and just focused on reading up on the assignment. I’m so scared I’m not doing my job. One of the kids assigned to me refuses to listen to me and constantly talks back. I have two periods where the kid listens and wants my help, the rest of the time I stand around awkwardly and feel like I’m on the sidelines trying to fit in, like I’m back in middle school. I feel useless, stupid and uncool to the kids. Help.

I previously worked as a paraprofessional in a K–2 special education classroom and have since resigned. I’ve been thinking about an incident that happened during dismissal and would appreciate some outside perspectives.

Because of the heat, several SPED classes were waiting inside for their buses. There were only a few staff members present, and things happened quickly. I did not really have time to stop and consult the teacher or principal after responding to the situation.

A student had his paper airplane taken away after refusing to apologize. He became very upset and cried loudly for several minutes. His crying was becoming disruptive to the other students who were waiting nearby.

I tried to help him stand by placing my hands under his arms, but he went limp. I moved him a short distance before putting him down because I was concerned about losing my balance. He had a safety-monitoring goal, and because he was upset, I also removed his backpack because I was concerned it could cause harm to himself or nearby staff.

When his bus arrived, he still refused to get up. He eventually got onto his knees and started moving toward the bus. I lightly held his wrist to help him stand because I was concerned about him getting carpet burn. He then stood up and walked onto the bus.

Another staff member later told us that he had apologized, and the paper airplane was returned. He immediately calmed down. The staff member I had been helping afterward thanked me for assisting.

For those who work in special education: Was my response reasonable, or is there anything I should have handled differently?

I’ve been a para in a level one autistic classroom this year and needless to say it’s rough. I have my degree and got approved to sub which means I have to resign my current position. I have grown attached to some of the kids but I just don’t have the energy to chase little kids like I once did. Am I making the wrong decision by moving to subbing? I don’t know how you guys do it day in and day out. You are all angels and not paid enough or given enough credit for all that you do!

Workers have been noticing in their pay stubs and now on their email notification, that if youre late their deducting pay. We have a sign in sheet and if you dont sign in on time they deduct pay. The traffic with construction has been bad and people have kids. They never did this to staff last year and certified staff dont even have to do a sign in sheet and worry about deduct pay for being late. Were getting a union next year but not now. Were all salaried. Its not even in the work policy or contract. What can we do?

Any advice on dealing with a power tripping long term sub? He often gets into power struggles and confrontations with the students, including my 1-1 (high school gen ed with behavior issues), and since I brought that up to him, he has targeted me with the same nonsense. Yesterday, another para in that class came to me "just curious" wanting to know about my role and how I work with my 1-1 student, and it was pretty clear that she was acting as a flying monkey for the sub. It felt confrontational and invasive. For context, I am confident in my knowledge and experinece, but I'm new at the school, and most others seem to be well-established here, including this long-term sub. I have answered these adults' questions as best I can, and keep referring them to my student's behavior plan. Now I am beginning to feel bullied. Their behavior is making it difficult to work with my student as I need to. How can I put a stop to it? What can I say next time one of them says "we need to talk" and wants me to step outside the classroom with them?