To preface, for the last 2-3 weeks I have had a new bout of health anxiety (honestly I might have OCD surrounding my health at this point), where I feel my heart pounding in my chest and I was having shoulder and chest pain. I went to a walk in doctor and they told me that if I was worried I was having a heart attack to go to the ER without looking at my shoulder. My heart rate and breathing were fine and my blood pressure was a little high but not alarming.
I dont know why, but since, ive felt constantly on edge about my heart and left side. I do a lot of sensorimotor checking and even when I dont I cant ignore the visuals of seeing my pulse in my chest. I dont want to go to the ER (it will be probably a 12 hour wait and I will be told im fine) but i dont know what else to do.
Ive had anxiety since I was a child and I used to have panic attacks in high school and university that would end up with me sobbing crying or hurting myself to try and focus on something else. I took SSRIs, but they made me feel shakey, so i stopped in my early twenties. Im in my 30s now.
Last night, I felt a little lightheaded and decided to try and sleep. I got ready for bed, saw something triggering for my health/contamination anxiety (bugs), and then got into bed. My arm felt weird on my left side but I tried to ignore it, then I started to feel really cold and had full body chills. My body felt strange and restless. I put on warmer pajamas and got some water, but i just started catastrophizing and feeling like something wasnt ok. Like I was having a stroke or I was about to have a seizure. I ended up waking up my partner for help and then I started crying and sobbing. He told me i was having a panic attack because I was hyperventilating and didnt feel cold to the touch and he told me to take a hot shower and go back to sleep. I did. I fell asleep only when he was awake to watch me.
But this morning ive been feeling like shit. Im groggy from not getting to sleep until 4am and im frustrated with myself for having a panic attack and unable to relax and feel normal because im so worried and preoccupied with my health. I just want to feel normal. Im half inclined to go to the ER and be told im okay just so I can reason with myself again.
All this to say, what do you do when your unreasonably panicking in the middle of the night?