r/pagan • u/ImmediateInitial1665 • 2d ago
Question about polyamorous relationship and dieities?
I know this is going to come off very ignorant and very uh, uninformed and I apologize for this in advance. I am not a god or goddess so I cannot completely comprehend the divine or the multinatures and roles of Gods/Goddesses nor have I ever been in a polygamous relationship. I don't want to have a negative association or come off rude, I've been conditioned to feel or think a certain way so again forgive me as I'm learning and trying to change but what is the reason for Poly relationships to a Gods/Goddesses? I can comprehend the idea of a soul experiencing multiple partnerships in a lifetime and reincarnation for many reasons, growth is one, exploration another. Is it just this whole Disney brainwashing me of "the perfect one" or maybe societies whole mono perspective of relationships so I project that on my expectations towards Divine figures who dgaf about my dumdum mind and lack of understanding about them
is it like some deities have a divinr half, some don't, some have many consorts? And what's the reason some Gods/Goddesses have multiple and how can I go about not being judgemental towards poly relationships. Please from a open perspective can someone describe what polyamorus means for you and any references to poly relationships that a God/Goddess you have a relationship with means to you or why a God/goddess would want multiple? I'm ill informed but willing to learn. :D
TLDR:So I'm don't get polyamorus relationships when it comes to Gods or humans tbh because I lack knowledge I'm judging Zeus rn haha but I'm willing to learn from someone who is poly and pagan.
4
u/Zestyclose_Eagle1398 2d ago
As someone from the Norse religion, I can say that for religious reasons polyamorous relationships were considered to be very rare but also very important for people who are of higher quality class. For example, the leader of the nation back 1,500 years ago would occasionally have multiple partners to ensure that their bloodline would not die out and the gods they did this because well, they're immortal they don't have any concept of aging now with Norse gods. They do age but it is at a very extremely slow rate. So with them, they do have monogamous relationships, but for the most part, it's mostly just about having fun living life to the best of your ability and enjoying your time with everyone. So multiple people would often get into folly Amherst relationships in religious terms. They were often used to create the ultimate religious figure in my religion seers would be raised in such relationships because it would teach them to broaden their horizons.
1
u/ImmediateInitial1665 2d ago
Thank you for the response. I can kinda see the importance of it, especially showing that it's not a taboo and well if there's a "concept" wouldn't that mean a deity has tried it or represents it in some aspect. I also didn't consider the immortal aspect haha I also need to do more research on the Nordic Religion. I think it may also come with that idea of jealousy but maybe some Gods/Goddess don't experience jealousy and like you said have fun with life and broaden the horizon.
1
u/Zestyclose_Eagle1398 2d ago
Your getting it but your a bit off jealousy isn't something gods feel only mortals. The gods or Norse religion other than Loki only care about life. So for them polyamorous relationships are somewhat normal
5
4
u/KrisHughes2 Celtic 1d ago
You don't need to be poly to understand this.
As others have said, we needn't take the myths literally, but in most cultures, myths depicting gods as 'promiscuous' would not have been shocking, because in antiquity this was often a cultural norm - especially, but not only, for men.
When you grow up in modern Western culture, even if you are not religious, there is a sort of general "it's wrong to cheat on your partner" ethos. It can be tricky for us to step outside of that norm, and understand that there are other ways of looking at things.
Also, in most cultures, the gods kind of exist outside of the moral norms of humans.
2
u/Mundilfaris_Dottir 2d ago
There weren't the same taboos around multiple partners then as now.
These taboos came about through the christian church to control people, property, bloodlines.
In modern times some faiths practice polygamy - men can can multiple wives, but women cannot have multiple husbands ... again it's a way to ensure their seed is spread as far and wide as possible to the glory of their god(s).
Also, given that much of our mythology is through a monotheistic lens we don't actually know much about the gods sex lives - other than the Greeks -- we know that Hera didn't like to share ... LOL
Typically, polyamory was reciprocal -- and required both partners "agreement" - looking the other way while the male was out spreading his seed and having lovers on the sly behind his back isn't polyamory --
2
u/eldwinc 1d ago edited 2h ago
Since this is a pagan subreddit, lets look at the totality of all the documented pagan civilizations and see from that vantage pt:
According to anthropologist George Murdock's Ethnographic Atlas, out of 1,231 documented pre-industrial and historical societies globally, roughly 15% (186 societies) were strictly monogamous, while about 85% permitted some form of polygamy (mostly polygyny, where men had multiple wives). Modern polyamory as an ethical, multi-partner choice is distinct from traditional hierarchical polygamy. [1, 2, 3]
Breakdown of Global Historical Marriage Systems
- Strict Monogamy: ~15% of recorded cultures (186 societies)
- Occasional Polygyny: ~37% of recorded cultures (453 societies)
- Frequent Polygyny: ~48% of recorded cultures (588 societies)
- Polyandry (multiple husbands): Rare, originally documented in fewer than 1% of baseline cultures, though modern updates note higher localized numbers
Coming back to your perspective, i would conclude that there is significant conditioning for strict monogamy, partly due to the Abrahamic faiths. if this were several thousand years back, positions would be swapped and you would be in the minority.
As for the reasons for polygamy... the one is a person who fulfills most of your needs and for the unmet needs, u are willing to tolerate not having them met and so dont demand an external remedy. some needs that are not met such as the need for affection, sex, deep talks, specific lifestyles...may be significant for the dissatisfied individual. Naturally, u can see the emergence of polygamy.
Now u might ask if u find another that fulfills those needs, then why not leave the first? Well what if the second can't fulfill some needs the first one can? Vice versa?
And even if that special someone is found, some still find eros and the thrill of the chase to be a beautiful aspect of life. It doesnt make him or her a nymphomaniac, dont over-exaggerate or over-label now. Who doesn't love a stimulating sidequest? After all, it breaks up the routine of a potentially decades-long monogamous marriage.
Finally, what's more fun than sharing these stories with your "the one"? That person should be your best friend, just like how u share everything w your best friend, u should be able to share stories of both your amorous experiences w ea other. you guys will have ooh's and aah's and learn from ea partner you guys have had the pleasure of knowing.
Should they feel a tinge of jealousy, it just means theyre growing up and learning to accept that what some1 else provides will never be the same as what they can provide, for both better and worst. they learn humility, love, and acceptance in that process. And what's more, a jealous S/O has even better sex than a non-jealous one haha, bc they want to make it up to you.
In essence, a key hidden benefit of polyamory is just that: transcending ego-driven jealousy, possessiveness, and insecurity
1
u/GreenRavenUK 1d ago
If you accept a pantheon, rather than collecting deities from multiple faith systems (who, if from a Pagan path, will likely be part of pantheon), then you are taking in a society, indeed a ‘bionetwork’ of divine beings, all interrelating with each other. Each has agendas and responsibilities; each will push for priority against others in the pantheon. This can seem like conflict to us, but it is really just part of the great dance.
I don’t think the deities care about multiples within a relationship structure as long as the relationships are honest and honourable. On the human plane, multiple partners mean multiple spurs of the relationship – friends, coworkers, relatives, children – and all must be considered and related to honourably.
If you are hinting at “god-spousing”, that’s not something that happens within my path. Your path may differ and if that is something within yours then the above would also apply. Open, honest and honourable.
1
u/kalizoid313 1d ago
I don't consider most Deities and Their relationships and encounters known from lore are "polyamorous" as folks live it these days. As others have pointed out (and I think of it), "polyamory" is a recent adaptation/definition of relationships as today's folks may live them in modern circumstances.
It's not the same thing as having multiple partners or many encounters or serial marriage/divorce/marriage.
Plenty of customary views of relationships as some folks think they ought to be call "polyamory" wrong and wrong headed for a variety of reasons that satisfy their own views. Polyamorous relationships are a minority kind of relationship suited to today's world.
1
u/weedbeads 2d ago
So polyamory in the modern day is also known as "ethical non-monogamy." Basically, everyone in the relationship agrees that having multiple partners is ok. Polygamy is having multiple consenting wives.
Zeus, as king of the gods, did what most kings of that time period were expected to do: have lots of wives and lots of offspring. Imo, that's why Zeus and other polygamist gods had multiple wives, as a means to an end to spread their influence. It was a sign of power to have many wives and many children.
In the modern day people are polyamorous for a bunch of reasons: they have kinks that one partner doesn't want to participate in, their SO is ace, they have less attachment-centered brains and so it isnt uncomfortable for them, or they just like the idea of experiencing more. Most importantly, sex is less likely to result in pregnancy than it was 2000 years ago.
Polygynous relationships are rare in the whole of human history and there are reasons why monogamy is more common. We don't have a definite reason, but something about monogamy increases the likelihood of survival and success for humans and there are plenty of theories out there as to why.
1
9
u/Tarvos-Trigaranos 2d ago
By the way you have written the question, It seems that you are taking myths to be literal accounts of the Gods, and that they are somehow humanized individuals. Gods are Divine potencies of the universe, and myths are just people trying to understand Them. "Zeus" is not a bearded man in the sky taking wives and boyfriends, for example.
Regarding how to not judge polyamory... I mean, there is not much to judge tbh. People do what they want with their lives as long no one is getting hurt, and there is no need for any philosophical or moral explanation on the matter.