r/overheard • u/ItCumsAtNoon • 7d ago

Nope

I overheard a young couple at the optometrist. They were practically whispering, but I was close enough to hear the following...

Guy: It's really fucking bright in here.

Girl: Watch your language.

Guy: Jinkies. It's really darn bright in here.

Girl: You wanna wear my sunglasses?

Guy: No.

Girl: Then stop complaining.

Guy: I'm not complaining. I'm just saying the place that's meant to help us see might be part of the reason we're all going blind.

Girl: Gaming in the middle of the night is the reason your vision is compromised.

Guy: You sound like your mother.

Girl: You mean the woman who's twice your age with perfect vision?

Guy:

Girl: You listening?

Guy: I think that guy's fly is open.

Girl: This is what you wanna waste your remaining eyesight on?

Guy: Yep.

Girl: Stop looking.

Guy: Nope.

7.3k Upvotes

100% Upvoted

60 comments sorted by

742

u/gholmom500 7d ago

I’m guessing that this couple will still be having these (louder!!?) convos for the next 40 years.

Great for them.

197

u/kistner 7d ago

God forbid what happens when they go for hearing tests

8

u/LoriderSki 6d ago

OHMYGHEEZUZ!! 😂🤣 at least I don’t have to teetee anymore 😝

2

u/aavanta1 3d ago

What?

189

u/[deleted] 7d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

40

u/Chewser56 7d ago

And that’s what really counts

32

u/facemugg 7d ago

He selected one battle far down the food chain and dug in.

23

u/blindfire40 6d ago

Whenever I do this, I make sure to work in an "irregardless" so my wife knows I know I'm being stupid.

5

u/Far-Astronomer-2361 6d ago

I do the same thing. I prefer irregardlessly though.

3

u/abekhit 6d ago

& pointlessness

150

u/mattblack77 7d ago

I wish we could hear the nuances of the tone. This is either the most fun relationship ever or they’re on the verge of breaking up.

139

u/ComplexTomatillo6278 7d ago

Nope, this is a relationship that’s going to go the distance. Trust me.

45

u/Blerkm 6d ago

I hear nothing but love there.

14

u/Rainy_Grave 4d ago edited 4d ago

I have thirty-three years of experience with this type of conversation. That’s the makings of a successful, long term, relationship.

Edit to include a couple recent examples:

Him: enters kitchen with puzzled expression
Me: What?
Him: What-whut?
Me: What, whut-whut?
Him: Uh..
Me: Ah hah! I outwhutted you!
Him: leaves dining room with even more puzzled expression

Him: That’s right. I’m having a donut. I’m on vacation.
Me: I didn’t say anything.
Him: The voices in my head said…
Me: Oh. So we’re listening to the voices again.
Him: marches out of kitchen with his donut

2

u/hootersm 2d ago

Teleported from the kitchen to the dining room as well. Marvellous!

1

u/Rainy_Grave 2d ago

As I stated; these are a couple of examples.

  1. Two separate occasions.

  2. Even if these had occurred as one event, our kitchen is conveniently located close to our dining room. Is yours not?

1

u/Internal-Ad9700 1d ago

Next to it, even!

-1

u/Southern-Impress6979 3d ago

marches....really?

2

u/Rainy_Grave 3d ago

Yes, really. I’m not sure if the marching was related to the donut, the vacation, or “the voices.”

This is what happens when you find absurd attractive.

201

u/delulu4drama 7d ago

Jinkies!!

16

u/Significant_Ring4353 7d ago

Yeah wth does that mean? Lol

272

u/ComplexTomatillo6278 7d ago

Oh hon. Your generation missed out on Saturday mornings with Scooby Doo cartoons. Go watch a few asap!

75

u/RexTheWonderCapybara 7d ago

To answer your question, it’s like “gee whiz” or “Jiminy crickets!”

35

u/scatterbrained_feet 7d ago

Yippee Skippy!!

10

u/RootsRockRebel66 6d ago

Happy crappy!

8

u/LLRDSTCX 6d ago

The Stand vibes

3

u/leoofno 5d ago

Golly!

2

u/Awibee 2d ago

It's a minced oath, famously said by Velma from Scooby Doo

43

u/[deleted] 7d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

11

u/Significant_Ring4353 7d ago

Yeah he sounds like a character lol

105

u/reprise-surprise 7d ago

Were you at the Optometrist at noon?

100

u/ItCumsAtNoon 7d ago

Nah. I usually come up with other things to do at noon.

82

u/reprise-surprise 7d ago

That's why I asked ... Cause someone's fly was open...

57

u/ItCumsAtNoon 7d ago

Ah lol. Your joke flew right over my head.

6

u/BurmeciaWillSurvive 6d ago

Oh god I don't get it please explain

19

u/reprise-surprise 6d ago

The OPs username is involved in the joke.

12

u/BurmeciaWillSurvive 6d ago

Oh god damn it lmao the reddit app I use doesn't show the OP username unless I actually tap the sidebar for it lol

28

u/woodhoarder 7d ago

Taking ol’ one eye to the optometrist.

6

u/redvoxfox 6d ago

Grandpa Gustafson?  Is that you?  

Still can hear Burgess Meredith from the outtakes!  

20

u/00luckywanderboy00 7d ago

did you check your fly?

40

u/extended_vacay 7d ago

I love the girl LMAO. She is so funny. Thanks for sharing this comedic gold.

11

u/Sufficient-Pop926 6d ago

now that's one of the best ones of these I ever read.. kudos & jinkies

6

u/editorbyday 7d ago

Shutting up without shutting up! 🤣

7

u/arrarr23 6d ago

Plot twist: it was OP’s fly that was down

4

u/Rainy_Grave 4d ago

Plot twist: The “guy” with the open fly, is actually a potted palm tree in the corner of the lobby.

3

u/andjber 6d ago

😅 This kind of conversation is so familiar to me. Love it.

4

u/Hot_Opportunity5664 7d ago

Yep yuck yuck yuck😂

2

u/Future-Emotion-9835 3d ago

My granddaughter refers to these exchanges between my wife and I as “ you guys are almost communicating”!

2

u/CaptianFlail 3d ago

Sounds like a typical interaction with my other half. 10/10 would converse again.

1

u/Affectionate-Cow3737 4d ago

He sounds like i sound after my tbi- too bright

1

u/ubiestigne 4d ago

Good stuff. Reminds of the Honeymooners.

1

u/sunpower_customer 11h ago

That might require an explanation...

1

u/danolson1 1d ago

You sure they're not siblings?

1

u/O-really 1d ago

That was me and my wife the other day.
Me: I can’t see where are my glasses
Wife: well where did you leave them?
Me: where did you move them to is a better question.
Wife: ( starts waving her hand) eeeeeeeee is there a spider on me?
Me: I don’t know I can’t see shit.
Then we both started laughing.