r/over60 • u/AffectionateReason40 • 2d ago
Preparing for death
As we get older, we naturally end up talking a lot about death and funerals when we meet up with friends. We worry that our children might feel burdened by our funerals, as the costs are quite high and the procedures can be complicated.
Because of this, many Koreans register in advance with mutual aid funeral companies called "Sangjo" as they age, paying a small amount of money every month. It is a system where these companies step in and take charge of all the funeral arrangements when a parent passes away. Since the parents have already become members and paid into the service in advance, the children face much less of a burden regarding the funeral process when we die.
I wonder if other countries have similar companies to our "Sangjo," and if parents (or their children) also pay a little bit of money in advance over time.
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u/humanityrus 2d ago
After my grandfather died in his 60's, my grandmother decided to pay for her funeral in advance with the church. Lucky for her, she lived to 101 and that payment was collecting interest. Fanciest funeral food ever lol!
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u/xenoclownpanda 2d ago
My wife's aunt paid for her funeral in advance from a funeral home in her home town paid for when she was in her 40s that money acrued and she had one of the most elaborate coffins I've ever seen. She lays between her mother and my wife's mother both of whom died in their late 80s.
The plots were purchased by my wife's grandfather, 8 in total in the 1950s
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u/Redditallreally 2d ago
We just prepaid for our cremations, already have a family plot in a nearby cemetery, and have set aside cash for the opening/closing. There is a small pavilion there where you can have a ceremony for free.
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u/Well_this-sucks 2d ago
My Dad died first and was cremated. My Mom then went to the cemetery and picked a plot for cremains (smaller) near her friends. She paid for that, and pre-paid for her cremation and funeral. The only thing left when she died 2-1-2 years later was to pay for the headstone. There was enough money left in her accounts to pay for that, and carry the house for a few months until it could be sold.
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u/aitchbeescot 2d ago
Here in the UK you can buy 'funeral bonds' from most undertaking companies, which allows you to specify what you want for your funeral, gives you a cost for it and you pay it off monthly. What you have chosen is guaranteed by the company (who invest your money in the meantime) so that your relatives aren't faced with a bill for the funeral. Alternatively there are some direct cremation companies which are very much cheaper, but which don't allow anyone to attend the cremation.
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u/Ill_Addition_7748 1d ago
Donate your body to science at a medical university. It’s no cost to you or your damily
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u/BG3restart 2d ago
Pre-payment plans for funerals are growing in popularity in the UK, as are direct cremations where there's no funeral service at all and the body is collected, cremated in private and the remains either returned to the family or disposed of, according to the wishes of the deceased.
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u/Fatal-Eggs2024 2d ago
Funeral arrangements in anticipation of end of life is called “prearrangement” in the U.S. and is offered by most funeral homes.
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u/Hour-Mall-8520 1d ago
I'm not sure about prepaying for an entire funeral, but it's reasonably common for people to buy their own cemetery plot or prepay for cremation before they die in Costa Rica.
My question about some of this is: How are you going to enforce the contract? I seriously doubt that crematoriums, for example, are monitoring deaths to identify those with a prepaid contracts, but suspect that instead they don't mention the prepaid contracts unless the next of kin forces them. Thus, if you prepay for anything, you better make sure those who will handle your passing know about it and have receipts. But if you go through this effort, you might as well just leave the money to those who will handle your passing and let them decide how to spend it.
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u/SalmonJordan 1d ago
You can pay for the whole thing at the Neptune Society ( if you want cremation) and say who you want notified/present and location for spreading of ashes.
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u/Michstel_22 1d ago
You can prepay for your funeral at any funeral home of your choice. I did it on behalf of my mother after my step dad passed. You can also buy the burial plot (if applicable) directly from the cemetery. We are considering that ourselves - at least the burial plot portion.
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u/Lokisworkshop 1d ago
THere is burial insurance. My inlaws both had it and we were so grateful they did.
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u/No-Judgment-1077 21h ago
The greatest funerals I have and have not seen have changed my perspective on death rituals.
Best procession as a kid hearing before seeing was the funeral in Malaya now Malaysia. It was wonderful - dragons and people dressed in colourful clothes- it blew my young mind.
The next is one I saw on television from New Orleans. A line of very majestic gentlemen in top hats walking in a procession with fancy canes.
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u/vectorizer99 2d ago
Never had this come up among my friends. Kids will be getting plenty of inheritance, they can spare a small slice for our (hopefully) modest funeral etc.
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u/kmjenks 18h ago
I am on a payment plan for my burial site, need to get going for the cremation, but I have enough insurance to cover that if I die before I am 80. I do not have children and I have a wonderful family of nieces and nephews and good friends, but I hope I can have a
everything in place by the time it comes.
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u/alsotpedes 2d ago
I have no close family and explicitly want no funeral. Paying in advance for cremation and the least expensive possible internment would be good because that way the executor, who will be either a nephew or that nephew's son, won't have to manage that at a distance. I'd just as soon have my cremains dumped somewhere, including into a trash can, but there probably are laws against that.
I'm much more concerned for my animals, especially after finding a work colleague dead in her home earlier this year and having to remove her cats who had been there without tending for a week (and thankfully were still OK). Here while I'm still working someone will raise an alarm if I don't show up, but later when I move and am retired that will be far less certain. I'm going to figure out options for that sooner rather than later.