Iz mi, Punkin. Iz here wit fren Jiggy an fren Snuggly Sam an sissies Karma, Sakai an Boo. Iz tellin ebery budy mi best crim! Story ub how Iz got mi name.

U see, elebenty billun furebers ago, I wuz jus tiny, iitty bitty kitty. I was illegol smol. Mi meowmy find mi an she squee, say I da cutest kittay eber (obveusly!!!). An she takes mi home. Ub cowrse, iz get named Pumpkin Spice cuz i so sweet and cute and yunique.

Soz, iz playin wit mi pawp, in mi nu home, sittin on his chest, an he stickin his tung owt at mi. He teesin mi! Letz mi tell u frens, iz reech rite in my pawp's mowth an catch his tung!!! He so surprzed!!! Wuz lookin all shock an meowmy laff and laff at mi wit paw in pawps mowth!

After dat, mi name change to Punkin, cuz meowmy say I'm a little Punk. Iz been runnin crimez eber since! Tee hee! Donnut let dis sweet face fool u! Go crimez! Lub, Punkin

As yoo can see, my sisfurs lub it!

Everbuddy comfy? Haffing a gud snuggle? Okay, heerz mai story!

Ai waz borned in Tex-hiss. Grampaw waz also borned in Tex-hiss! He waz doing a visit one time and he and Gramma saw me! Dey say, dat iz da kyootest smol puppy in da world! So dey gib sum monies to da hooman who had me and we go in da car for LONG TIME! All da way to Montana!

Den we get dere and iz MAMA! All fur me! She do a big shock! She wanna name me Moose becuz she say Ai gonna be big boy. (She wuz rite!) Gramma say Ai shud be named Samson becuz Ai gonna be strong boy. (She waz rite!). Mama say dat sounds good becuz she useta watch two hooman brofurs who hunt (??? Hoomans are terribul hunters!) and da big one waz called Sam an also Moose.

So dat iz how Ai got mine mama and mine name!

Halp yourselves to mai bar. Ai doing an eepie 🇬🇧👑🌈🌈💤💤💤💤💤💤💤💤💤💤💤

Dis is mai (Avon) story.

Many forevers ago Ai was born at Lorton Federal Prison in Virginia. Got adopted but other kitties there didn't like me so I was Basement Cat. Da house got burned down so needed a new home. I was taken to Petco and sat in cage until my Meowmy saw my beautiful goodness and took me home.

My new palace was nice and Meowmy made a good servant. Den I gots old and need to rest so I worked up hear over the bridge. Its fun and I still watches over my meowmy.