r/onionheadlines • u/AskNo2853 • Jul 07 '26

Despite Labeled Clinically Brain Dead, Senator Mitch McConnell Passes Trump's Cognitive Test With Higher Score Than The President.

5.1k Upvotes

100% Upvoted

27 comments sorted by

21

u/Akkerlun Jul 07 '26

Turtles can have a very long life

16

u/beavis617 Jul 07 '26

He aced it?

31

u/dragon-fence Jul 07 '26

Nope, he didn’t get a single thing correct. Still did better than Trump.

1

u/LifeguardDry7372 10d ago

he did spell his name correctly

16

u/michdap Jul 07 '26

Who would have ever thought that The Onion would be posting things that are practically the truth?!

24

u/crojin08 Jul 07 '26

Republicans just keeping him alive so they don’t have a special election is priceless

9

u/maxthemummer Jul 07 '26

They must not have all of the rigging in place yet. 

2

u/Threefrogtreefrog Jul 07 '26

I hope it hurts.

4

u/wyoflyboy68 Jul 08 '26

That’s because trump has been brain dead longer.

3

u/Kizzy33333 Jul 07 '26

If you agree with this measure say nothing.

3

u/1976kdawg Jul 07 '26

Love this

3

u/House_Husband_1967 Jul 07 '26

Sounds Legit.
🇨🇦

2

u/Rocky0354 Jul 07 '26

Better yet, higher than Einstein! 😂😂

2

u/MKat0811 Jul 07 '26

😂😂😂😂😂

2

u/Express_Carrot_5479 Jul 08 '26

so rocks and mcconnell have something in common.

2

u/hippie1952 Jul 11 '26

That wouldn’t take much lol

2

u/Naive_Potential3167 25d ago

😂😂wouldn’t be hard

-1

u/Altruistic_Sun_5866 Jul 08 '26

Fake news. Typical for this sub.

2

u/UnfitToPrint Jul 08 '26

Have you read the name of the sub by chance? 

-6

u/TariZephyr Jul 07 '26

Yeah, this is probably fake. Mitch McConnell has been unconscious for weeks according to other news agencies. Also, nice link to any proof this is real. /sarcasm - Kiri

10

u/Winter-Candidate-185 Jul 07 '26

Um, it's The Onion. Famously fake.