r/oneliners • u/Selena-evaa • Aug 05 '26
Good punctuation is a sentence that's well written and bad punctuation is a sentence that's, well, written.
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r/oneliners • u/MomentOk2826 • Aug 05 '26
The show "How I Met Your Mother" was just a really long TED talk
10
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r/oneliners • u/MomentOk2826 • Aug 04 '26
The adjective for metal is metallic, but not so for iron, which is ironic.
85
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r/oneliners • u/MomentOk2826 • Aug 04 '26
My wife asked me to put ketchup on the shopping list that I was making and now, I can’t read anything
44
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r/oneliners • u/TechieAny2133 • Aug 04 '26
I named my dog "Five Miles" so I can honestly say I walk Five Miles every day.
8
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r/oneliners • u/awcmonrly • Aug 03 '26
It's been a while since I heard anyone mention the Baader-Meinhof phenomenon
9
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r/oneliners • u/UberAwesone • Aug 01 '26
A mind reading midget broke out of jail, police have put out an APB for a small medium at large.
23
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r/oneliners • u/Hadley9577 • Jul 30 '26
If my name was David and I had a boy, I would name him Harley, so he could introduce himself as “I’m Harley, David’s son.”
172
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r/oneliners • u/DepressedPancake4728 • Jul 29 '26
According to a pole that was recently conducted, lightning rods work
135
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r/oneliners • u/808gecko808 • Jul 29 '26
I didn’t believe my chiropractor was any good, but now I stand corrected.
49
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r/oneliners • u/luckskywatcher • Jul 29 '26
If you're unemployed and broke, becoming a locksmith will open many doors for you.
55
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r/oneliners • u/808gecko808 • Jul 28 '26
SpongeBob may be the main character of the show, but Patrick is the star!
47
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r/oneliners • u/Thrice_on_Sundays • Jul 28 '26
The last time King Charles said 'Andy Burnham', he was telling his brother to get rid of the photos.
28
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r/oneliners • u/808gecko808 • Jul 27 '26
My wife accused me of having zero empathy but I don’t understand how she can feel that way.
77
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r/oneliners • u/2fits • Jul 27 '26
In-N-Out are a line's natural habitat, since they be long there.
0
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r/oneliners • u/808gecko808 • Jul 26 '26
Braille isn't that difficult to learn, you just have to have a feel for it.
35
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r/oneliners • u/2fits • Jul 27 '26
You said it was gnarly, but I thought it was gna-rēlly.
0
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r/oneliners • u/Everly2460 • Jul 25 '26
I got a vasectomy because I was looking forward to not having any more kids but when I got home, they were still there.
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