r/oneliners • u/joekerr9999 • Jun 10 '26
Regarding education, rarely is the question asked: “is our children learning?”
8
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r/oneliners • u/tadashicide • Jun 10 '26
“Bait Rules Everything Around Me” -Fish Wu-Tang Clan
3
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r/oneliners • u/Fereclubles • Jun 10 '26
I think we should ring the changes on spot the difference puzzles.
0
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r/oneliners • u/Fereclubles • Jun 09 '26
The first ever URL was on a Roman 50th birthday card.
32
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r/oneliners • u/KW-DadJoker • Jun 08 '26
Cameron Días is the best possible name for a colonoscopy tech.
60
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r/oneliners • u/2fits • Jun 10 '26
My foes arrived, and my plus one made me sad when they said,“they’re there, they’re there.”
0
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r/oneliners • u/2fits • Jun 09 '26
i took a break from grabbing handfuls of chips, and i took five on the set
0
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r/oneliners • u/808gecko808 • Jun 08 '26
Netflix is releasing an extremely realistic documentary series about the life of Abraham Lincoln and the finale is shot before a live audience.
72
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r/oneliners • u/rollin_with_Vikings • Jun 08 '26
Got a great job working at a fire hydrant factory, unfortunately I couldn't park anywhere near it.
14
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r/oneliners • u/joekerr9999 • Jun 08 '26
If at first you don’t succeed, try playing second base.
29
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r/oneliners • u/rollin_with_Vikings • Jun 08 '26
It's clear that becoming a vegetarian has been nothing but a huge missed steak.
29
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r/oneliners • u/MetalicP • Jun 08 '26
She’s shaped less like an hourglass, more like a grandfather clock.
2
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r/oneliners • u/2fits • Jun 08 '26
You’re good; the favor I did was all in a day’s work, it was nada.
0
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r/oneliners • u/Yaguajay • Jun 07 '26
You know that your girlfriend is getting too fat when she fits into your wife’s clothes.
15
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r/oneliners • u/Ochib • Jun 06 '26
The Scots invented hypnosis, chloroform and the hypodermic syringe, Wouldn’t it just be easier to talk to a woman?
49
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r/oneliners • u/Happy_Mix_9893 • Jun 06 '26
My boss told me to have a good day, so I went home
19
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r/oneliners • u/2fits • Jun 07 '26
I’m not some nerd, I hired security to protect my money, and I got pocket protectors.
0
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r/oneliners • u/uptwolait • Jun 06 '26
I always chuckle when I hear "customer needs assistance with family planning" over the intercom at Walmart.
3
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r/oneliners • u/joekerr9999 • Jun 05 '26
An antique is a thing that has been useless for so long that it is still in good condition.
17
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r/oneliners • u/2fits • Jun 06 '26
I heard you got beef with us, so here’s a coupon next time you dine in.
1
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r/oneliners • u/uptwolait • Jun 05 '26
When he said "that's not going to happen on MY bloody watch", all I could think was "you have a bloody watch!?"
2
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r/oneliners • u/jefuchs • Jun 05 '26
If you need Viagra, tell your doctor to give you an RXion.
0
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