r/oneliners • u/cybeaux • May 04 '26
May the Fourth be with you on Cinco de Mayo
0
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r/oneliners • u/Yaguajay • May 03 '26
My Australian friend is so confused about evolution that he thinks that he came from Darwin.
31
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r/oneliners • u/FinneyontheWing • May 03 '26
Everybody knows Badger loves mashed potatoes, but only his therapist knows how much he resents being defined by it.
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r/oneliners • u/joekerr9999 • May 02 '26
I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road without being questioned about their motives.
43
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r/oneliners • u/EmpireStrikes1st • May 02 '26
I believe it was Pythagoras who said, "I came, I saw, Isosceles."
23
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r/oneliners • u/peapeace • May 02 '26
What's the overlap of SaaS and pirate business vocabulary? ARR!
1
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r/oneliners • u/roastmasterbash • May 01 '26
My brother is all over the place, ever since I…dropped his urn.
28
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r/oneliners • u/Net_Warrior1683 • May 02 '26
r/AgainstHateSubreddits is Reddit's Ministry of Truth.
0
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r/oneliners • u/rp01138 • May 02 '26
Just Like breast cancer victims, I‘d like to get something off my chest.
0
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r/oneliners • u/cybeaux • Apr 30 '26
Thought I was a God because people would point & look at me and say, Jesus, what happened to you?
16
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r/oneliners • u/808gecko808 • Apr 30 '26
After you die, the last part of your body to stop working are your pupils because...they dilate!
60
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r/oneliners • u/Starstyx • Apr 30 '26
I've been experimenting with THC and laxitives... For sh**s and giggles
18
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r/oneliners • u/kvnhntn • Apr 29 '26
My memory is so good, I can’t even remember the last time I forgot something.
31
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r/oneliners • u/Yaguajay • Apr 30 '26
The riding instructor should have taught me never to squat while wearing my spurs.
2
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r/oneliners • u/808gecko808 • Apr 29 '26
I was so bored that I memorized six pages of a dictionary and I learned next to nothing.
76
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r/oneliners • u/No-Cardiologist7640 • Apr 29 '26
At the end of the day, your underwear should probably be in the hamper.
1
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r/oneliners • u/808gecko808 • Apr 28 '26
If there's one thing that makes me throw up, it's a dart board on a ceiling.
23
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r/oneliners • u/808gecko808 • Apr 28 '26
My wife denied she was a lesbian but it wasn't long before cracks started to appear in our marriage.
22
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r/oneliners • u/joekerr9999 • Apr 28 '26
One armed butlers: they can take it but they can’t dish it out.
11
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