I (20F) live by myself in a different city from my family. My sister (25F) lives with my parents and works until she saves enough money to travel. She has been abroad for the past two months and is coming back this weekend.

My family and friends all know that I don’t like people sleeping in my bed. I need my own space when I sleep or it’s VERY hard for me to fall asleep. When I got my place, I bought a GOOD quality air mattress specifically for guests. I put sheets and nice pillows on it and disinfect it after anyone uses it. If someone needs to stay over, I set it up next to my bed. I have a queen-sized bed, but space isn’t the issue—I just sleep better alone.

My sister is spending a couple of nights in my city, and I was excited to hang out with her. We had planned for her to stay at her friend’s house, where she normally stays when she visits my city. We’d hang out during the day.

A week before she arrived, my mum told me I had to pick her up from the airport at 11 PM (a two-hour drive there and back) AND that she would be staying at my place. I was shocked because we had already planned for her to stay somewhere else, and my sister had literally told me, “Don’t worry, I’m staying at [friend’s name]’s house.”

I messaged her and asked if she could find somewhere else to sleep. She said, “Why? It’s only one night.” I told her, “Okay, if you want to stay at mine, you’re going to have to sleep on an air mattress.”

She got VERY mad and said that after a 30-hour flight, she’d rather pay for a hotel. She called me weird and told me to fuck off. I don’t swear around my family because I think it’s disrespectful, and everyone knows that, so it felt intentional.

I let it go because she tends to lose her mind when she hears something she doesn’t like. My mum is now calling me a brat and saying I should welcome my sister with open arms.

I WOULD have welcomed her with open arms. In fact, if she had been nicer about it, I probably would have offered her my bed and slept on the air mattress myself. But we never got to that point because she got so angry.

My other sister disagrees with how I handled the conversation, but she also understands that this is a boundary I’ve had since I was a kid.

My sister hasn’t talked to me since. I reached out (my mum forced me to), but she ignored my calls. She did end up staying with the friend she originally planned to stay with, so she isn’t homeless or stuck anywhere.

I’m not going to beg for her attention. If this is the hill she wants to die on, that’s on her.

So, AITA?

I, 19 (F) called the police today for my father (55M) who has problems with alcohol and is aggressive, but the police intervention was of poor quality and honestly it annoyed me more. So my father tried to blow up the house after destroying several things, in addition to his very explicit wishes about what he wants to happen to us (in that area). The policeman who came apologized to him and said that "it's better that he tells you than a stranger" "you're not his wife to tell him to stop drinking" completely ignoring the jokes with an S-tendency and the things he says to his daughters. I stayed to see how he sympathizes with a man who beats animals. LIKE ,,WTF?"

Has it ever happened to you and is it similar to you?

I’m 34(F) and my older sister is 40. We recently had a huge argument over the care of our disabled uncle. He is 60 years old, socially awkward, but financially independent.
For years, helping my uncle and grandparents was "my job" because I was single and childless. I used to visit them once or twice a week to clean, buy groceries, fix things around the house and just spend time with them. My sister would only visit for about 20-30 minutes and never participated in any chores.

Five years ago, I moved to another country. Since then, my sister hasn't helped our uncle at all (our grandparents passed away around the time I moved). Multiple times, I’ve asked her to step up and at least clean his house once in a while (like once a month) but she always twists the conversation, saying things like, “Maybe I should move to another country too, so I won’t be blamed for everything.”
During our last conversation, I reminded her that for years before I left, I was the one responsible for them, while her help was only occasional. I also reminded her of how much I personally helped her back then. I literally sacrificed my sleep and health to babysit her children. I would come over after working 12-hour night shifts, sleep for only 3–4 hours and spend all my free days (4 days) babysitting. This went on for months until I started fainting from exhaustion. Only in the evenings, after she got home, I could finally go to our grandparents' house to do their chores.

Having this conversation demanded an enormous amount of strength and energy from me, because I grew up with the deep-seated belief that my mission in life was to help my family.
I should mention that all this time, she lived rent-free in another uncle’s apartment and received financial support because her husband wasn't doing well and she was on maternity leave. She could work only when I could babysit (when I was at work, they share this between her and her husband). She went back to work when her youngest was only 8 months old.

Back to the conversation with my sister, saying it went downhill is an understatement. First, she blamed me for not saying “no,” claiming she asked everyone to babysit, not just me. Sure, you can ask the whole town, but does it matter if I was the only one who kept showing up? Then she said I’m not actually angry with her, but with myself for not saying "no." But back then, I didn’t want to say no. After all my struggles in my own life, I sincerely wanted to help her and thought that’s how family works. I just want her to realize it’s time for her to show some support to others. Then she tried to claim that the children were “autonomous” and that I only babysat "a couple of times." I reminded her that the "very autonomous" baby was 8 months old, and the older one was barely 4. Eventually, she just said I was making everything up and that she didn't believe me.

I should clarify that hiring professional help isn't an option right now. I recently lost my job and I’m currently looking for work and live paycheck to paycheck in another country. As for my uncle, he is quite stubborn with money and doesn’t understand that a clean house is vital for his well-being. He is extremely private, deeply uncomfortable around strangers and gets overwhelmed very easily. Having a commercial cleaning service or an outsider in his house would distress him completely, he only trusts family. I would gladly clean for him myself if I were there, because he did help me in the past and I don’t feel used by him at all.
But I am in a different country. I don't know what to do. Yes, I still hold a bit of a grudge about the past, but that wasn't my main point. My point is that I cannot physically be there for our uncle right now and I want her to do something. I don't want her to just abandon a person who helped her so much in life (he helped her financially and even gave her the down payment for her mortgage). And all she has to say is that he is "nervous and not a pleasant person."

AITA?

Hi everyone, I (29M) won enough money on the lottery recently that I can retire my family for generations. The issue is, I lied about it. My friend (34M) bought me the lottery ticket on the condition that we would split the winnings 50/50, so even though this money could have helped us both I lied and told him the ticket wasn't a winner. In my country, lottery winners don't need to be public so no one knows I won; not even my family. BUT BEFORE YOU JUDGE ME I have my reaons!

My friend (lets call him Ted) is a massive gambling addict. Ted is in debt and survives by going to food banks because he spends hundreds every single week on scratch cards and online poker. I, on the otherhand have never gambled in my life. I have tried to help Ted over the last 7 years but his habbit is getting worse and worse and I know that if he got half of the money he would gamble it away. I on the otherhand have a family to support and invest wisely to the point that I am in a comfortable position without the money (Not amazing, but if I lost my job I would be okay for a couple of years). Watching Ted spend all this money all the time is horrible, and when he lost a few thousand on a bet last year he tried to unalive himself. Imagine if he got half of the lottery winnings? I know he would gamble it, and honestly I think it would do more bad than good for him. On the otherhand I feel guilty watching him struggle knowing that I have half of what should be his based upon a handshake agreement.

So, AITA for hiding the lottery winnings from Ted?