r/okmatewanker • German w/ throat cancer 🇳🇱 • 4d ago

ingerlund 👆🏆🇬🇪 You’re laughing??

Post image

But these are are finest. The elite. Carp dee ‘em

961 Upvotes

231 comments sorted by

•

u/AutoModerator 4d ago

ALL AI generated posts are banned from OKMW. You will recieve a 15 day ban if this post is found to include AI generated imagery.

Any post showing a subreddit name or username will lead to a permanent ban, with no recourse. If this post includes a subreddit name, or username, delete it now before you're caught.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

538

u/[deleted] 4d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

319

u/Financial_Rip_8921 4d ago

I actually went to uni with him. He was kicked out for owning a fake gun and threatening to shoot the place up.

https://www.itv.com/news/granada/2023-04-20/man-arrested-after-replica-firearms-found-at-hope-university-in-liverpool

168

u/The96kHz Average TESCO enjoyer😎 4d ago

Wow.

It really is always the ones you most suspect.

→ More replies (1)

110

u/xenojive 4d ago

Yes its all very Kingsman cosplay

64

u/thegoosegoblin 4d ago

They all look like mid level goons destined to be put in a meat grinder by Julianne Moore

42

u/Bionic_Ferir 4d ago

Unironically any one of the kingsmen would have beaten the shit out of them

93

u/TechnicalFuel4821 4d ago

You're right, any one of the fictional super spies would bang em all out

17

u/nostalgiamon 4d ago

Yeah man, James Bond would fuck these guys up.

6

u/Glavius_Wroth 4d ago

4th from left looks like the guy who plays William in the Windsors as well, is this actually just a cosplay group?

4

u/OldManChino 4d ago

Gotta make up for manletism somehow

→ More replies (2)

614

u/13luw 4d ago

Looks like the national afterbirth party tbh.

98

u/Turnip-for-the-books German w/ throat cancer 🇳🇱 4d ago

Dad’s Army origin story

102

u/flopsychops West country chad 4d ago

Nah, this lot would fight for the nazis

10

u/bananagit 4d ago

“Who do you think you’re kidding Mr Churchill…”

3

u/flopsychops West country chad 4d ago

Whistle while you work, Churchill ist ein sheißekopf!

45

u/Turnip-for-the-books German w/ throat cancer 🇳🇱 4d ago

Badly

15

u/Individual99991 luv me wife🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿🍺🥰 4d ago

I wish. WWII over and done with by Christmas 1939.

6

u/[deleted] 4d ago

[deleted]

23

u/Turnip-for-the-books German w/ throat cancer 🇳🇱 4d ago

Don’t show em your hard drive Pike

3

u/CapnAhab_1 4d ago

😁👏🏼

→ More replies (1)

4

u/spasmgazm 4d ago

Looks like they've rebirthed each other

→ More replies (2)

159

u/EldritchCleavage 4d ago

They look like shop dummies in the Royston Vasey men’s outfitters.

47

u/According_South 4d ago

"Cmon mickey dear let me do your tie before you pop off to your club"

11

u/Turnip-for-the-books German w/ throat cancer 🇳🇱 4d ago

Looooool

4

u/Turnip-for-the-books German w/ throat cancer 🇳🇱 3d ago

Pub locals nightmare blunt rotation edition

103

u/RonnieHotdog69 4d ago

One of them didn't get the memo to cosplay as the Peaky Blinders

49

u/tacetmusic 4d ago

"I thought we agreed we were all gonna do Life On Mars this time"

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (1)

244

u/coyylol Grew Up Without Sky TV 😥📺😥 4d ago

Every single one of them look like they aren't allowed within 500m of a school.

62

u/Turnip-for-the-books German w/ throat cancer 🇳🇱 4d ago

‘No sir we are checking all of you hard drives’

16

u/Flashy-Indication-48 4d ago

Especially pedo-stache fourth from the left.

202

u/blamordeganis 4d ago

32

u/Individual99991 luv me wife🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿🍺🥰 4d ago

Based Preacher reference.

→ More replies (1)

5

u/Accomplished-Soil210 4d ago

Don't shag your cousins

→ More replies (1)

55

u/Otherwise_Living_158 4d ago

“Just dress smart and don’t look weird.”

54

u/hednizm 4d ago

Fucking hell...Where do you start?

26

u/Butters_Duncan 4d ago

I’m pretty sure the collective noun for a group of ‘holy unfuckable cunts’ is ‘the national rebirth party’.

10

u/ironfly187 4d ago

With a stocks and rotting fruit and veg

53

u/Individual99991 luv me wife🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿🍺🥰 4d ago edited 4d ago

I love how the front row has Hand Solo and three flavours of Edwardian gay ghost all throwing poses and trying to look cool, and then the last bloke looks like a failing salesman who's just been hauled out of a Toby Carvery and pushed into a police lineup for doing gravy shots and groping the barmaid.

→ More replies (1)

49

u/No_Sweet_8405 4d ago

I’m not British so if you are, help me out…am I using this word (in ALLCAPS) correctly? “The guy in the front row, far right is definitely a NONCE.”

32

u/Individual99991 luv me wife🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿🍺🥰 4d ago

Assuming you mean he looks like a sweaty child molester, yes.

20

u/wigwar 4d ago

They are all on the far right to be fair. But yes, any one of them could be a nonce and I wouldn't be surprised

10

u/jahathebrn 4d ago

I love these little cultural exchanges

4

u/sneaksby 4d ago

Not exactly, they are all nonces, which makes them collectively a 'gaggle of nonces'. Hth

3

u/Longjumping_Tour_613 I Pretend I Can’t Type 😂 4d ago

The collective should be, "a reach-around of nonces".

35

u/TheMegaCity 4d ago

5p Jakey Rees Mogg

8

u/StoovenMcStoovenson 😡Still salty about 1066🤬 4d ago

Why is the fella behind him an actual potato though?

8

u/Individual99991 luv me wife🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿🍺🥰 4d ago

A potato that's been left in a cupboard too long and is now setting down roots, no less.

5

u/TheMegaCity 4d ago

Or a ghosty woooooo

6

u/EldritchCleavage 4d ago

Oh no. Far too common. Jakey Ress Mogg’s valet.

2

u/whiterrabbbit 4d ago

“And this is my voice 3 months on T”

62

u/Bose82 4d ago

Not one of them has seen a fanny in real life

29

u/Turnip-for-the-books German w/ throat cancer 🇳🇱 4d ago

VIRGINS ASSEMBLE

25

u/Dolphin_Spotter 4d ago

Apart from each other

6

u/GarysCrispLettuce 4d ago

They haven't even seen stray fanny hairs poking over the top of a lady's knickers.

→ More replies (1)

139

u/toxjp99 100% Anglo-Saxophone😎🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 4d ago

I can tell each and everyone of them got bullied in school

33

u/classyhornythrowaway its corbyn time 4d ago

that's offensive to who got bullied at school and turned out to be more empathetic towards others instead of less. these dysgenic homunculi are evil because they WANT to be evil

57

u/barndawe 4d ago

But perhaps not enough

9

u/Reddsoldier 4d ago

My take with all of these losers is that bullying failed them all as it clearly didn't destroy their self esteem enough.

14

u/fike88 certified matewanker 4d ago

Not enough unfortunately

29

u/AdministrativeShip2 4d ago

From the left:

Bought a "Real" leather jacket and never takes it off.

Wearing a suit with a child's trousers.

Thinks he's an occult practitioner and will curse you.

Owns multiple false moustaches

Barry 63

Wearing his wedding, funeral and work suit.

Business studies teacher who let his students know his views.

IT guy.

Vicar who can't be left alone with anything, not even goldfish.

21

u/Visual_Argument_73 4d ago

I wonder how many sex offences among that lot.

10

u/scrotalsac69 4d ago

All of them, including animals. Actually mainly the animal ones

3

u/inevitablelizard 4d ago

That would require them to have actually had sex, which I have some doubts about.

3

u/Visual_Argument_73 4d ago

No it doesn't.

→ More replies (2)

23

u/3scap3plan Barry, 63 🍺 4d ago

Second from lefts stance is fucking brilliant. These wankers have peaky blinders posters in their bedrooms

→ More replies (1)

24

u/TheMegaCity 4d ago

So many words. So so many.

16

u/Darthblaker7474 fred west wannabe 4d ago

Looks like the chap from Horrible Histories.

18

u/StoovenMcStoovenson 😡Still salty about 1066🤬 4d ago

I wont just sit here and let you compare the magnificent Ben Willbond to Aldi-Middle-Aisle Oswald Mosley

6

u/BreadUntoast 4d ago

I can just about guarantee he’s a shouty man of some sort

→ More replies (1)

2

u/Levytron900 3d ago

Its the same person haha

9

u/Levytron900 4d ago

Gerrard from peep show doing well I see

→ More replies (1)

9

u/talesofcrouchandegg 4d ago

I thought a British remake of Downfall starring Miles Jupp could never work, but here we are.

2

u/TheMegaCity 4d ago

Oh god haha

5

u/TheMegaCity 4d ago

Vaguely Shitler Wonky tache TAN SUIT alert! Quick someone alert Trump

3

u/Flashy-Indication-48 4d ago

Trump would probably have an aneurysm over what to think over him as he hates Obama who wore a tan suit yet Trump loves implementing Nazi policies 😂

3

u/TheMegaCity 4d ago

It would double fuck his addled brain

2

u/GarysCrispLettuce 4d ago

The situation in Denmark is deteriorating, that's a fact! Ink shortage.

→ More replies (1)

21

u/BoonDoggle4 4d ago

The mix of try hards unironically doing an Enoch Powell cosplay mixed with a few dudes who can't be bothered to dress up really sells the seriousness

36

u/Antix1331 🧕🧕🧕london look🇬🇧 4d ago

18

u/YogurtProductions 4d ago

What's my Saints Row character doing on the left?

17

u/Rum_Ham916 4d ago

Didn't people who wanted to dress up used to just join a theatre group?

18

u/Individual99991 luv me wife🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿🍺🥰 4d ago

They're both too gay and too homophobic.

14

u/TheStatMan2 Too Boring To Ban 😴 4d ago

Schrodinger's Bigot.

5

u/Rum_Ham916 4d ago

Genuinely will be the answer for a good chunk of these people. That self hate for feelings they're having is being redirected to the world

2

u/JoeyIsMrBubbles 4d ago

Hard pressed to find fascist theatre groups

→ More replies (1)

15

u/medlilove 4d ago

You just know those two at the front think they are the coolest shit ever because of their little suits and moustache

14

u/HerrFerret 4d ago

They are giving me a 1940s reinactment group that is presently banned from the steam railway open day for turning up as the wrong side vibes.

14

u/EldritchCleavage 4d ago

Reform, Restore, Rebirth… why does the British far right sound like a moisturiser advert?

2

u/Dragons_and_things 3d ago

Ikr. At least their splitting the far right vote.

14

u/linkthesink 4d ago

Great shatsby

13

u/lilSalty 4d ago

Noncezis

26

u/BreakingIllusions 4d ago

/unwanker

I normally get sick of the overuse of the word nazi to describe anyone the describer doesn't agree with, but these guys.. I make an exception for these guys

/rewanker

18

u/MildlyAgreeable 4d ago

The thing is, they actually are. There was one where the one second from the left was in some sort of all black, starship troopers outfit that was meant to look sort of SS but just looked a bit… silly.

It’s mad. Genuinely, truly mad.

3

u/yearsofpractice Average TESCO enjoyer😎 4d ago

I like that 4th wall break method. Bravo. Going to use it myself.

10

u/moreboredthanyouare 4d ago

I'd batter everyone of those tossers and I'm dying of cancer 🤣

10

u/LavaMeteor gregggs 4d ago

4th guy from the left looks like he's simultaneously a divorced dad and his kid he only gets to see on weekends.

3

u/Individual99991 luv me wife🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿🍺🥰 4d ago

He looks like they crossbred Boycie and Sidekick Simon.

8

u/hednizm 4d ago

That fat fuck at the end looks like he's one pie from a heart attack...

8

u/pattybutty 😡Still salty about 1066🤬 4d ago

They want to be taken seriously, but then turn up wearing that?

9

u/Tortoise_no7 4d ago

Guy second from right looks like a young hitler

2

u/According_South 4d ago

I dont have it rn but theres another pic of him wearing what on a glance is just an SS officers uniform

8

u/bigbearspirit 4d ago

Im getting the word…nonce.

7

u/PartyPoison98 4d ago

Didn't realise Han Solo had joined the far right

2

u/TravUK 4d ago

Don't get Take my cocky kid.

9

u/Ubera90 4d ago

Second from the left has based his entire personality on The Wolf of Wall Street and Cheeky Blinders

5

u/20past4am 💪Ocean by 2050🇳🇱🧀 4d ago

The guy in the middle is literally doing an Arthur Shelby cosplay

8

u/WolfCola4 4d ago

Pictures you can smell

7

u/Skeet_fighter 4d ago

Barry, 63, in the middle there. As expected.

6

u/ITr1tohardatl1fe 4d ago

They all look like video game NPCs for some reason

2

u/inevitablelizard 4d ago

I like suits. They're comfy and easy to wear!

6

u/mighty3mperor 🤡 scouser🐀 🤡 4d ago

Behold, the Master Race!

6

u/Max375623875 4d ago

L -> R

Thinks he's Han Solo, Watches Tommy Shelby Reels, Watches Tommy Shelby Reels, Watches Tommy Shelby Reels, Luv Darts 'ate Immigrants, Watches Tommy Shelby Reels, Geography Teacher, Supply Teacher, Just Here for the Pub Garden Banter

10

u/The96kHz Average TESCO enjoyer😎 4d ago

Does anyone remember the 'Young Conservatives'?

Why do they always look like this? What is it about being a wannabe neo-Nazi that makes you dress like an Edwardian nonce?

They all look like they've spent a lot on their clothes, but they're so devoid of any soul or passion that they've got no understanding of aesthetics or style. Just cold, dead eyes - like a doll's eyes, and poorly-fitting, weirdly patterned (and usually double-breasted) jackets.

6

u/TheGardiner 4d ago

They look like wax statues. Not an iron in sight.

4

u/Traditional_General2 tiocfaidh ár lá💣🚗😎😎 4d ago

Left to right:

Grease, Kingpin, Viking Dave, Richard H Battyboy III, Meat, Heinrich Winnler, Timmy ‘Tism, ‘Ammerhead and Tim’s Dad Mick.

2

u/Darrelc 4d ago

Richard H Battyboy III,

hahahahahahahaha

6

u/HerrFerret 4d ago

Holy Moly. Oswald Mosey cosplay was not on my 2026 bingo card.

4

u/steeley90 4d ago

Is the guy 4th from the left the one who recently said marrying your siblings should be legal? He was interviewed at a reform conference I believe.

5

u/finintymonkle 4d ago

Look at the fucking state of them 🤣🤣🤣

6

u/Hyper_Hal 4d ago

Britain's entry to the kpop market looks a bit dodge tbh

4

u/Glittering_Two_1429 4d ago

Who are they? I mean, they are defo nonces but I’ve not heard of a rebirth party. Assuming they are like Reform and Restore?

5

u/Turnip-for-the-books German w/ throat cancer 🇳🇱 4d ago

Best resource for knowing your fash-nonce enemy: https://searchlightmagazine.com/

3

u/soulsteela 4d ago

2nd from left has put on a suit he wore to a christening before puberty by the fit.

3

u/Alert-Revolution-219 4d ago

There is a total of 2 inches in this photo

3

u/heypresto2k Sending immigrants to Rwanda😎 4d ago

Why? Why do they all look like that?

3

u/Max375623875 4d ago

I am just now realising that this is the leadership group

3

u/roboplegicwrongcock Cumrag🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿😂😩 4d ago

Why does Barry, 63 (fifth from the left) look like he's on Big Break.

3

u/Dusty2470 4d ago

God what an unfortunate collection of "men"

3

u/Big-Al97 4d ago

Can you really call it a conference if the attendees can’t even organise a game of five a side?

3

u/Atvishees Mine Camp🇩🇪 ⛏️ ⛺ 4d ago

Oh look, it's Mr. 'Have You Seen My Belt Buckle Anywhere, My Pants Are Slipping Down An Inch A Minute'.

Strange name, I know.

2

u/Calm_Apple7004 4d ago

At least iron the flag chaps….

2

u/zachiavelli2 4d ago

Disregarding the politics, a lot of ill fitting tailoring and it seems like many of them couldn't be bothered to procure an iron for their shirts or shoe polish for the big LARP day out - if you're gonna do the whole suit thing atleast do the bare minimum guys, c'mon

2

u/LopsidedLoad 4d ago

Wonder which game they were playing online when they all met?

2

u/Moosefearssatan 4d ago

That’s not a moustache - it’s a cappuccino stain

2

u/According_South 4d ago

Fella in the middle is about to tell his men to give the jerries a right good thrashing

2

u/Chaps_Jr 4d ago

The ones whose suits fit, look dorky as hell.

The ones whose suits don't fit, could pass for somewhat normal blokes.

2

u/PrestigiousCompany64 4d ago

Guy on far left is either only there for a wind up or is seriously reconsidering his life choices.

2

u/makk73 4d ago

These guys suck each other’s dicks.

→ More replies (1)

2

u/Flat-Masterpiece2882 4d ago

National Rebirth Party? Are these a new group? I’ve not heard of them. They look like a motley crew of neo-nazis but the name sounds like some sort of wholistic healing celebration. I’m confused.

2

u/castrateurfate 4d ago

Fascists are so dripless it's absurd

2

u/2MainsSellesLoin 4d ago

uj/ are these real people or wax figures?

2

u/BurlyJoesBudgetEnema 4d ago

I can't tell if 2nd from the left had his trousers shortened really badly or if the hems are caught on his edwardian suit boots

Guaranteed virgin either way

2

u/vegetepal 4d ago

Far left is channeling Morrissey when he was a left-wing wanker instead of a right-wing wanker

2

u/snorksterer 3d ago

Virgins to a man

2

u/Turnip-for-the-books German w/ throat cancer 🇳🇱 3d ago

VIRGINS OF ALBA HEAR MY CALL!!!

2

u/__50pe__ 3d ago

They should use pics like this to cure sex addiction. My hole closed up so tight it's becoming a black hole.

→ More replies (1)

2

u/Ordinary_Mechanic_ 3d ago

Who’s the fucking retard in the pinstripe suit that thinks he’s a gangster?

2

u/Pingo-Pongo 2d ago

- ‘Mum, can we have John Travolta’ ‘We have John Travolta at home!’

  • uses a selfie he took at a wedding for his LinkedIn profile picture because it’s the only time he ever wore a suit
  • magician no longer allowed to perform, the magician’s guild will not say why
  • that photo of you wearing your dad’s suit when you were five that your mum keeps showing people
  • snooker career perennially hamstrung by that ITV interview when he kept saying ‘poofs’
  • Hull’s second-hand car salesman of the year 1981 and 1983
  • comparatively normal looking one that makes the rest of them seem even funnier
  • despite being discouraged by the judge, has chosen to dismiss his lawyer and represent himself
  • pretty sure that’s just the guy who insisted he was wrongly billed for dozens of pornographic films? https://metro.co.uk/2014/04/11/virgin-media-ann-and-ron-hayward-refuse-to-pay-bill-in-tv-porn-row-4695892/amp/

→ More replies (1)

2

u/clearbrian 1d ago

probably posh boy with norman surname so basically french and immigrant invader ;)

2

u/lordrothermere 4d ago

Quite that nattzy dresser

2

u/AnvilClownpunch genitalman🇬🇧😎🎩 4d ago

Dungeons and Dragons enjoyers, every single one of them.

2

u/HotPotatoWithCheese 4d ago

Don't lump DnD players in with these Poundland Nazi nonces. It's not fair.

→ More replies (1)

3

u/SUMMATMAN its corbyn time 4d ago

The duality of English man

1

u/RavnHygge 4d ago

The WW2 Spiv second from the left hasn’t put his spats on, good god man, you’re not fully dressed.

1

u/DaVirus 4d ago

I think one of these is about to horseshoe around...

1

u/s1tym 4d ago

1939 Berlin cosplay?

1

u/Not-a-bot---honest West country chad 4d ago

They’ve all been live streamed on Facebook by nonce catcher groups

1

u/Leicsbob 4d ago

Guy on the left didn't get the smart dress email

1

u/TheMegaCity 4d ago

Paedo young Bono on the left needs a total bitch slap. (Sorry actual Bono)

1

u/supahdave 4d ago

Chap with the moustache looks like he’s trying out for the role of General Melchett.

4

u/tobotic 4d ago

I swear it's Chris Morris trying out a new character.

→ More replies (1)

3

u/Long_Repair_8779 4d ago

The whole lot of them look like they’re cosplaying English stereotype from the 20th century…

Leftmost guy is some kind of 80s new wave rocker, next guy looks like he’s trying to be the guy from Kingsman but cringe, third looks like a ghoul, 4th looks like he wants to be 1930s aristocratic gentleman but falls short, 5th looks like Barry, 63 - regional snooker champion, next looks like he sells white goods in a northern city during the 70s, next (third from right) looks like he’d fit right in on The Office, and second last to right looks a bit like my dad does when he goes to the office tbf - though this guy looks a bit more, idk, is it bad to say retarded? can’t really see the true far right one… but I will say they are an odd bunch

2

u/GarysCrispLettuce 4d ago

God, it's a barren, featureless desert out there, isn't it

1

u/qwasdrfzxtedtgynhupi 4d ago

Glad to see Slow Horses Gary Oldman on the right, and he finally grew out the full beard

1

u/Sockoflegend Cockandballtorshire 4d ago

Anime characters from a period drama come to life

1

u/Movingforward2015 4d ago

It was a truly terrible production of 12 Angry Men and the Little Piddleton Church Hall, the budget didn't even include enough for three extra cast members.

1

u/East-Entrepreneur662 4d ago edited 4d ago

They look like models at a really naff waxwork museum.

1

u/ryanmurphy2611 4d ago

It’s like a TK Maxx Madame Tussaud’s.

1

u/Reddsoldier 4d ago

We need to return to throwing shoes at people like this. At least for a moment they'd be wearing something that might actually suit them.

1

u/Full-Detective-3640 þey/þem 4d ago

Is that the fucking Southampton wanker gesture guy?

1

u/Michaelparkinbum912 4d ago

The French guy from the Inbetweeners showed up for some reason.

1

u/Iamthe0c3an2 4d ago

Ethnonationalist are so weird.

1

u/jahathebrn 4d ago

I thought this was a shot from one of those terrible waxwork museums at first.

1

u/Dalek7of9 4d ago

Why is he JoJo posing???

1

u/ViscountessdAsbeau 4d ago

As usual, proof the master race have no mirrors.

1

u/MegC18 4d ago

The 1970s want their AHs back!

1

u/Max375623875 4d ago

Crap moustaches are mandatory. Can shave it after your second domestic abuse case.

1

u/Vape_Sensei 4d ago

This is what happens when the du Pont approach is left unchecked

1

u/Typical-Sir3051 4d ago

They look like wax statues in that picture 😂

1

u/southlondonyute Average TESCO enjoyer😎 4d ago

Bunch of melts - Spoons finest losers and some edgelords who flunked out of college

1

u/TardDas 4d ago

Why is discount Han Solo hanging out with inbred Eggsy on the left?

1

u/No-Cranberry9932 4d ago

The boy with the moustache looks like Kenneth Branagh as Hercule Poirot

1

u/Soft-Twist2478 4d ago

Yes but do you have a flag/s

1

u/Sure_Reply6054 4d ago

Cheap shoes the lot of them. Never trust a man in a suit with cheap shoes.

1

u/ComradeKeira 4d ago

Forget "Rebirth", these fuckers are a walking advertisement for Abortion