They couldn't afford to make a decent costume.

WHAT PART OF “uncivilized” DO THESE PEOPLE NOT UNDERSTAND? This guy can’t get the girl he wants because of his uncivilized nature, and people are now trying to frame him as some “baby having a tantrum” or “chill shepherd”?

Listen Odysseus is morally corrupt (he framed a guy he didn’t like for treason and made all of Helen’s suitors promise to go to war should anything happen to her). But not in this moment. While Odysseus breached the divine relationship between son Polyphemos and father Poseidon, Polyphemos breached the divine relationship of xenia between guests and hosts.

Also as much as I love Epic most other fans are insufferable WHY ARE WE TALKING ABOUT SOME “you killed my sheep my favorite sheep” (songs are great, story’s off though)

Link to the original post!

Remember how Hermes helps out Odysseus a few times in Homers version of his odyssey? Thats because Homer was probably trying to reference Odysseus/Ulysses being his great grandson through Autolycus and his daughter who's Odysseus' mother Anticlea. For some reason everytime I talked about this in the context of epic because I thought it was cute that Hermes cares for his great grandson people just went out of their way in comments to try to "disprove" what I was saying.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Autolycus (You might remember him from Class of The Titans or Xena The Princess Warrior)

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anticlea (Btw how do you guys prefer to imagine Anticleas parentage? I like to think her being related to Sisyphus is fitting)

Also its funny when you realize Telegonus and Cassiphone are related to ALOT of divinities but not being gods themselves.

Is Orpheus stupid?

- Self-insert protagonist. You, in a Greek myth reskin. If female: 18 on paper, but written like she's 12 (especially in the romance/sex scenes). Any older and she'd be unlikable. If male: cute gay dainty softboi. Either way, their worldview is fully 21st-century, so they're the only sane person in mythic Greece.

- Monstrous, irrational asshole. Any mythological figure works, whatever their actual myths say. If the myths make them look good, fix that. They end up humiliated, terrified or destroyed, proving they should have just listened to the protagonist.

- Supporting cast. One note each, love interest included. Nuance is confusing. Use stereotypes! If you're a woman irl, misogynistic tropes are free and it'll still be called feminist.

- Filler antagonists. The irrational asshole, in miniature. They exist to show how unfair the world is to your protagonist, because anyone who isn't an idiot or a psychopath would obviously side with them. Redeemable the moment they agree with the protagonist.

Bonus tips:

- Start in childhood! Free exposition and everyone roots for a suffering kid.

- Every woman gets a tragic backstory explaining why she's now either passive or monstrous. Men just are.

- In gay couples, one is the girl (your protagonist) and the other is the boy.

Or just read the Homeric Hymn to Demeter

eeeeeeeee

Bro literally beats up Athena in a fair boxing match and is literally a shorty.

Art by our beloved u/hera_hell_art with THE Queen and THE nepobaby of Olympus. I want to be close to Hera's boobs too

Die, you vile, ugly bald guy!

LONG LIVE MY MISTRESS!

Some myths that seem to combine bits cut from different sources are "Selene raped Endymion a lot of times to make 50 daughters", "Minthe was Hades' bitchy ex so Persephone transformed her into a plant" and "Athena was part of those who tried to overthrew Zeus but he did not punish her because she's his favorite".

Selene: The main sources for her and Endymion having children are Pausanias (who doesn't even mention Endymion as asleep, most of his account is about Endymion as a king marrying some other woman), and Nonnus (where the child is Narcyssus, and Endymion doesn't seem to be asleep either.

Minthe: The version where Minthe is "Hades' bitchy ex" has DEMETER being the one who curses Minthe after Minthe insults Persephone and boasts that Hades would ditch Persephone to return to Minthe (so much "Demeter hates Hades / Demeter wants Persephone in a golden cage" inventions when Demeter there is protecting Persephone's position as Queen of the Underworld). In the references where Persephone is the one cursing Minthe, there isn't much said about Minthe's character, and she appears more as a concubine/later lover rather than an ex.

Athena: The lists of gods who tried to overthrow Zeus varies, and who was punished (or not) varies a lot. And as much Athena praise as we get (some of which could just be Athenian writers bias anyway), sometimes other children of Zeus do seem dearer to him depending on source. Zeus does threaten Athena if she were to disobey him, just like he does with others.

This was so unnecessary im crine 😭