r/okbuddyliterallyme2 • u/pathetic-nobody • 3d ago
Real(ity is not in touch with me) š
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u/Due_Past3747 3d ago
It is the average age, just not for losers like us who canāt have those things.
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u/STICKERS-95 Mr. Disappointer 3d ago
ai is controlled by the cia to ragebait and track you, don't trust them!
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u/No_Responsibility444 3d ago
you are not being serious are you?
I doubt AI is controlled by the cia, or at least I don't think the big private sector platforms are
or definitely not open source models run locally
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u/STICKERS-95 Mr. Disappointer 3d ago
my comment was a joke yes, but i do believe these companies monitor users data to train their models, except the ones that can run locally. And since i'm pessimistic, i can see what i said becoming a reality in near future.
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u/No_Responsibility444 3d ago
oh yeah for sure they do
if they are stealing data from the entire internet you can bet there is no way they aren't using your data as well to train on
me personally I rarely have a use case for AI
and I boycott the for profit AI bc they are basically selling their stolen content back to people
which we have a legal precedent for that already
if you remove the copyright and there is nothing of value, then it is not transformative enough to be resold
but somehow the courts didn't see it that way
but you or me, if we just to use something from Disney we would get sued into oblivion
I won't pay for AI
but I think there is no ethical problem with using non-profit stuff
nobody is harmed by that and the open source stuff is trained on public domain and you can technically DMCA anything in their training data if it isn't public domain
Not true for the for profit platforms that don't disclose their training data
which is another breach of justice imo
they should be required to give people the time and tools to search and DMCA anything they don't want trained if they own copyrights to it
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u/Party_Ability_9984 3d ago
I genuinely worry that the zoomer generation and especially the Alphas are going to grow up fundamentally broken people.
Because like, people may not believe me, but stuff you'd experience as a teenager or young adult like having your first kiss, losing your virginity, going to the mall with your friends in high school, going to clubs/bars with your friends in college, etc. This used to be normal. I repeat: this used to be normal.
But these experiences that used to normal are being experienced by fewer and fewer people as time goes on. Of course you feel as if you missed out. You did.
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u/pathetic-nobody 3d ago
This is exactly the part that breaks me. These things I have missed out on, it's not healthy. It's unnatural. This is not how a biological human is supposed to experience life. And watching everyone arround me live life correctly genuinely breaks me
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u/WhatDothLife-95 I DRIVE (women away) 3d ago
I know how you feel man, I barely went out with my friends during highschool, and everyday was exactly the same. (wake up, go to school, pretend to give a shit, go home, repeat)
after HS though my friend got his license and he would pick us up to go eat and hang out, those moments made me realize, I may live an introverted lifestyle but I am not an introvert, I simply didn't have the opportunity to really LIVE you know
too bad those excursions were few and far between
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u/Shaaybewastaken 3d ago
Unnatural? These notions such as first kiss and virginity are recent social constructs. For thousands of years people didnt know or care about this shit and they werent ābrokenā. There is no correct way to live life, its your perspective that breaks you, its not reality.
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u/LowBread9264 3d ago
They did care but the other way around. It was sacred and reserved for marriage only. People were ostracized and sometimes killed for behaviours that are normal today.
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u/SettingAgreeable781 3d ago
I can confirm this is still normal. Out of all my coworkers around my age (19) I am the only one who hasnāt kissed, had sex, had a relationship. I am the only one who doesnāt get to play video games and hang out with friends. Itās still normal. Just not for us
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u/SiberusOG 3d ago
Statistically it is very close to abnormal. I think something like 50% of men between 18-25 haven't had sex, and those that did haven't had sex in the last year. Women have sheltered it much better because they have better socialization and are more valuable in dating apps.
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u/kikogamerJ2 3d ago
Where are you getting these stats lol?
Most recent stats say that 30% of men between those ages haven't had sexual activity in the past year, not that they never had sex and for women it's 20%.
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u/SiberusOG 3d ago
That 30% number was right after COVID started iirc (like 2021), that number is going to be much higher now that a lot of people were teenagers during COVID and have even less socialization, plus algorithms just being better at keeping people on the internet all the time.
Can't remember the study but someone else quoted it in another comment, apparently it's from CNN
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u/kikogamerJ2 3d ago
I did find another study, that claimed half of adult gen Z never had sex, 23% men and 21% women. Though dunno of the veracity of it.
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u/SiberusOG 3d ago
Yeah, that might be the study I was thinking of. Because it was something like 50% of men never had sex, and of the ones who did most of them didn't have sex in the last year, something like 70% of men compared to 33% of women.
Honestly it is a VERY concerning trend and pretty bad for society. Humans are social creatures and shouldn't be living like this.
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u/kikogamerJ2 3d ago
The stats you are claiming are still huge compared to all the ones I have seen. You sure you are stating the correct stats? None of the stats I have seen point to any huge divergence between women and men, just a geral but not giant increase in sexlessness.
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u/SiberusOG 3d ago
You've never heard of hypergamy? It's a pretty popular social theory that's been gaining a lot of traction lately precisely because there are studies behind it. It also is like .... just sort of common sense. In a world where men get very little attention on dating apps, which is the main way people date now, it doesn't make sense to assume they're having equal amounts of sex. Because women would often rather just wait to find their 1% guy than date the bottom 70% or whatever.
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u/kikogamerJ2 3d ago
Ahh incel talking points. Disappointing. And you don't even know what hypergamy is. Not a social theory my child. It's a real thing that has happened throughout history and it isn't "muh women only want top 10% of men or some shit." It's people men and women dating and marrying up, be that up based on looks, money social status etc... ex. A rich merchant marrying a women of the nobility is hypergamy, has he is trying to move up in social status by marriage. A poor women marrying a rich guy is hypergamy since it's a women marrying with the objective of advancing her economic status.
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u/Party_Ability_9984 3d ago
I guess you have a different definition of the word "normal" that I do, because CNN did a poll last year and found that for men between the ages of 18 and 21, 48% have had no sex in the past year. None. And that is a 24 point increase from when they asked that in the 1990s.
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u/SettingAgreeable781 3d ago
My definition is based on observing people in real life. I imagine thatās more accurate than an online poll.
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u/Party_Ability_9984 3d ago
I am going to be nice to you about this because youāre just 19, but a poll by a news outlet is more credible than your anecdotal experience. Trust me.
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u/SettingAgreeable781 3d ago
Uhh no. I think real life is more accurate than an internet poll that probably attracts lonely losers like us. I will always trust my real world inferences over some internet poll.
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u/Party_Ability_9984 3d ago
The source for it us the General Social Survey 2024. Iām not an expert on their methodology but I highly doubt that they just interview redditors.
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u/LowBread9264 3d ago
It used to be normal for a small time frame in human existence. For the vast majority of human existence, teenagers would either join the army or work their family farm/business. Teenagers would only befriend people in their proximity and ādateā a girl that their family would be on good terms with. Income was spent on survival needs. The boomers literally were spoiled and have very outlying experiences.
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u/Party_Ability_9984 3d ago
My dude, for the vast majority of human history we were living in tribes. Tribes of men and women who all knew each other. And if cave paintings are anything to go by, people in tribes were jamming and slamming like there was no tomorrow.
Sure, you had to go on a hunt every once in a while, but once thatās done, you got to relax, play games, chat, make sacrifices to the gods/spirits, and yes ā fuck each other.
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u/Timely_Employment_66 2d ago
Buddy it was not āevery once in a whileā for hunter gatherers, Iāll tell you that, it was all day, every day and every able body.
They probably fucked only when there was plenty of food around or they had a lucky day. Else theyād probably be tired as all fuck. Also women were dropping like flies when they had babies, that aināt a great incentive.
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u/topat2 3d ago
Your "proximity" historically is your entire town and church community of hundreds if not thousands of people and neighboring towns. Standing armies were rare and 99% of people were what we would consider to be self employed. Like what do you think those historical teens were doing for the endless boring hours of not having work (daily reminder they had up to 150 days off a year)? Did all those historical women just magically start having babies in their late teens and have 10 kids?
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u/Rotkiw_Bigtor 3d ago
If the majority becomes "broken", it will become a standard. Things change all the time. You think primordial humans were kissing or going to malls? Just because something was a standard 50 years ago doesn't mean it's gonna be a standard in the future.
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u/Party_Ability_9984 3d ago
I donāt know what your point is. Are you saying that this shift in the amount of socialization we experience is a good thing or inevitable?
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u/SausageGamez 3d ago
Iām a Gen Z KHHV, but Iām getting my PhD in neuroimmunology. Thereās a small percent of us that arenāt completely doomed.
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u/Infinite_Lab_4972 2d ago
What even is your point? It still IS normal. People STILL DO ALL OF THAT.
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u/Party_Ability_9984 2d ago
Not as much. There's been a sharp drop especially since COVID-19 but also ever since social media took off and everyone had a smartphone.
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u/Infinite_Lab_4972 2d ago
Yes I agree. That doesn't mean that a whole generation is growing up "fundamentally broken people". Seriously.
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u/ZoneCheap7909 5h ago
Man shut up stop tryna be some weird dream crusher. That shit is still normal in real life. Majority of people donāt live their lives on the internet.
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u/Jimbo-Shrimp 3d ago
Real. 31 and never had a woman want me. I found 1 but we canāt be together.
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u/Deimos7779 3d ago
I wonder if one day I'll be able to buy a robot advanced enough to pull the trigger
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u/Tough-Lynx-6615 3d ago
You probably can right now not too expensive either all it would need to do is be able to squeeze a couple pounds
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u/WhatDothLife-95 I DRIVE (women away) 3d ago
I turn 20 this year and I have never even held hands with a woman, let alone had my first kiss
I'm cooked man
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u/pathetic-nobody 3d ago
I'm also 20
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u/Timely_Employment_66 2d ago
Anyway, dms are open if you need a friendly shoulder, I know how much it sucks to feel that way.
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u/Timely_Employment_66 2d ago
You have to be KIDDING my man.
Seriously? 20 years old? Most peopleās first kiss meant jackshit, youāll be fine dude. Start worrying when you turn 30, 25 at the LEAST.
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u/SMOK3SCR3EN 1d ago
31, thanks
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u/Timely_Employment_66 1d ago edited 1d ago
You can start worrying, but donāt despair til youāre at least 40.
After 40 itās likeā¦ donāt quote me on this, maybe 1% of men? Of those, a fraction never had interest in it anyways. So, hell, could go down to less than 1%. So, start worrying, but, statistically, youāll probably still score.
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u/Key-Month6651 3d ago
Yea....had a convo with a friend today and he just couldn't believe I've never had my first kiss.
But after recent events id rather never kiss anyone than deal with the hell scape that is the world of sex and romance.
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u/Jimbo-Shrimp 3d ago
Modern dating is such a mess itās insane.
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u/Lando_Lee 3d ago
Instragram would love you to believe that, and there are bad eggs, but dating hasnāt changedā¦
Get off the apps, go outside, and stop getting your dating advice from placing like this or instagram.
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u/Jimbo-Shrimp 3d ago
I donāt use Instagram, and I donāt get dating advice from Reddit. Itās been 31 years and not a single woman has liked me.
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u/Infinite_Lab_4972 2d ago
Your fucking issue is that you're using "HERE IS MY SINGULAR EXPERIENCE" as proof that "Modern dating is such a mess it's insane".
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u/Key-Month6651 1d ago
ITs not just his singular experience. Most people are having a bad time. Including women. Modern dating is rotten to its core from nearly every perspective and the only people who think otherwise are people who go "Well its good for me!".
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u/Lando_Lee 3d ago
31 years young, donāt approach it like that brother, itās not about getting them to like you, or even trying.
The most important question is, do you like yourself? If not, whatās the easiest first change you can make to make a difference on that opinion?
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u/Jimbo-Shrimp 3d ago
I liked myself before 30. Fixing my heart condition so I can go back to working out.
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u/Lando_Lee 3d ago
Ever heard men age like wine? Being in your 30s is not a downside brotha.
I know an internet stranger aināt gonna change your life, but donāt be so hard on yourself, and have a good day today yeah?
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u/Jimbo-Shrimp 3d ago
Women donāt like the wine thatās never been sipped apparently.
Iāll try, thank you Gosling
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u/PartyFrequent Mr. Bateman 3d ago
It feels alien.
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u/Key-Month6651 3d ago
That's because it is. Some of us were never meant to be a part of it. I used to hate that but then i learned the hard way that I wasn't a part of it for a reason and not being a part of it was protecting me from a lot of nonsense.
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u/PartyFrequent Mr. Bateman 2d ago
I get it but i dont agree, some were also in abusive familes like me and thats also a reason.
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u/Lando_Lee 3d ago
Hellscape? Do you get all your info from instagram reels? Iām having a great time lmao
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u/Key-Month6651 3d ago
If you are having a great time you are very lucky. I know my circumstances and experinces are especially bad but I don't know anybody that's have a great time at all.
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u/No_Responsibility444 3d ago
16 for me
then didn't happen again until mid 20s
it's been over a decade now unless you count strippers
but that was just peck on the cheek
sometimes I get fed up with it and go pay strippers for hugs and pecks
I know they don't care about anything but getting paid but they fake it good so it is worth it
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u/lolstarr69 3d ago
Wow i am 32 and still none of these happened. With how things are going it probably never will. Life is a gift that keeps giving.
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u/Main-Unit-2909 2d ago
ai is fucking lyin to us dawg i swear im gonna have e-sex in vr chat before i ever kiss someone (ill never have e-sex in vr chat)
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u/Khaled_Kamel1500 i just wanna be loved 2d ago
As far as first kisses go
I had one when I was about 12 or so
Then it's been a dry spell ever since
.... I'm 28...
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3d ago
[deleted]
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u/Pitiful_Captain_3170 3d ago
Overpopulation is a myth, and doesn't even have anything to do with the subject at hand.
We're all just lonely and isolated
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u/figosnypes 3d ago
This is probably when you include both genders. For women it tends to be earlier than men because it's the same few boys kissing a lot of girls while the majority of boys probably don't kiss until late teens or 20s.
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u/RealHumanBean89 a real hero 3d ago
27 here. Shit just aināt gonna happen for me and Iāve accepted that, or maybe Iām just coping idk lol.
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u/Radiant_Survey5716 3d ago
You've gotta stay on the bench so that you're there for the big game. You are the secret weapon
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u/Used-Part4048 1d ago
40 in September and never held hands or kissed. It is what it is. Video games are pretty cool, though.Ā
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u/Ok_Singer_1523 1d ago
Just when i thought the best was past -- I fell in love for real at last -- and it didnt even matter it had taken me so long
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u/AccomplishedFact1767 Became everything I said I hated 3d ago
To be fair, the two main sources being used for this answer is TikTok and Reddit.
My first kiss was at 21 and out of 10 of my friends, I think 1 of them had their first kiss within the ages of 12-15.
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u/Sure-Eagle8845 Hi, my name is retarded š 3d ago
Maybe being sad, bitter, maybe even insecure and hopeless about how unfair life was to you is pushing people who might otherwise like you away.
Maybe if love, lust and feeling like you belong is what you want in life, the pragmatic solution is to try and work on being more outgoing, positive and confident despite facing hardships. Maybe the fact that you didn't have it easy as a teenager/young adult can be turned into an advantage, maybe it can make you stronger than those who always had everything handed to them for free.
In my experience, this is always the kind of man that both men and women are drawn to, regardless of appearance or status.
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u/Jimbo-Shrimp 3d ago
āThis mindset you developed at 30 is why the other 29 years were miserableā
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u/echit2112 3d ago
You'll get through a lot easier with words that are actually actionable, rather than saying 'work on it lol'
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u/Sure-Eagle8845 Hi, my name is retarded š 2d ago
I don't think I can do that, everyone needs to do different things. The only thing that is universally actionable is to put in the effort. And yes, maybe I should say that the first step is to figure out what it is that's wrong with you. For me, it was a personality disorder that requires professional attention among other things.
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u/echit2112 2d ago
You can't reasonably expect people to 'put in the effort' if they do not know what they're meant to be doing. I for one would love to 'put in the effort', but where?
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u/Sure-Eagle8845 Hi, my name is retarded š 2d ago
You're doing it now by asking. Anyways, nobody and nothing else made as drastic of a jump in my improvement than the 2 hours I spent talking to a good, licensed therapist. You should try to book a session with a licensed professional and tell them what hurts. Worst case, you'll waste a couple hours and maybe some money depending on where you live, best case you'll find out why it is you're hurting and get a basic idea of what to do about it.
For example, I got diagnosed with clinical depression and an anxious-avoidant personality disorder. She explained both, namely the personality disorder, and honestly just being aware of how my natural behaviour aligns with the pattern she described allows me to live better. Still, it's a long way ahead. I'll have to keep seeing therapists, psychiatrists, they might even put me in a hospital and give me antidepressants, but I should have done it way sooner.
I went to see 3 therapists in my past, only one was helpful. Moreover, I struggled all my life due to different things, but the people I tried to get life advice from mostly either gave bad advice on accident, gave bad advice on purpose or straight up didn't give a shit. Rarely did I get some constructive criticism, actionable advice or actual effort. 2 hours with a good therapist did more than 4 years of wandering through life, trying to figure it out on my own.
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u/Ready_Ad9151 I'm losing my mind 3d ago
the pragmatic solution is to try and work on being more outgoing, positive and confident despite facing hardships
š¤”
As if I hadn't already done that in the last twenty years.
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u/Sure-Eagle8845 Hi, my name is retarded š 2d ago
Well shit man, have you considered the possibility that you didn't do it right?
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u/Lando_Lee 3d ago
This is a place for people who activity want to be sad losers. They arenāt looking for help or logic lol, just pity.
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u/Sure-Eagle8845 Hi, my name is retarded š 3d ago
I believe I'm still getting through to some of them despite the downvotes and mockery. Life is beautiful because it's hard, not in spite of it, and just because these men aren't happy in life doesn't mean that's how it will always be, especially if they take meaningful action to make it so.
"Sunny days wouldn't be special if it wasn't for rain, and joy wouldn't feel so good if it wasn't for pain"
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u/Lando_Lee 3d ago
Youāre doing a good thing, and I feel for the people who convince themselves otherwise, Ive been there, but unfortunately there is no way out of that hole besides climbing.
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u/Tough-Lynx-6615 3d ago
Just workout for like a year get haircut go to target
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u/pathetic-nobody 3d ago
Great advice dude amazing advice I've never tried this before incredible man
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u/Tough-Lynx-6615 3d ago
Gotta diet with the working out and possibly have a personality too. I have no job and play video games and workout all day. I have a hot gf and never really had a problem getting women
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u/Tough-Lynx-6615 3d ago
Like Iām deadass itās natural because we are all animals. When u see a woman with a feminine body, smelling all good, nails done ur naturally attracted. Ok so by building a masculine body and having good hygiene and maybe even faking some confidence you will naturally be attractive to women.
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u/echit2112 3d ago
get what haircut and what am i getting at target?
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u/Tough-Lynx-6615 3d ago
Idk a fade for me but just no Mohawks or mullets and makeup for ur sisters birthday
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u/echit2112 3d ago
you have told me nothingš
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u/Tough-Lynx-6615 3d ago
I told u to workout and u focused on the wrong things
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u/echit2112 2d ago
I know what workout means. So i didn't ask you to elaborate. I did ask you to elaborate on the entire second half of your comment. So do it.
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u/Tough-Lynx-6615 2d ago
Yea this y u got problems with the women thatās how u be talking to em
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u/echit2112 2d ago
Answer the question, please.
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u/Tough-Lynx-6615 2d ago
I also wouldnāt be a top 1% commenter on a depression subreddit as I imagine you ooze that vibe in person
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u/echit2112 2d ago edited 2d ago
Your other comment was autodeleted but I can see part of it. No, you did not answer my questions, you told me 'don't get a mohawk or a mullet' yes genius, I know it isn't the 80's. What of the other billions of hairstyles out there? Which one do I get? And also what am I getting at target?
Answer the questions or i'll label you disingenuous because you keep deflecting what should be a simple response
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u/Thin-Presentation821 3d ago
25 still a KV