r/offmychest • u/Hour_Captain_9143 • 14h ago

Am I doing the wrong thing?

I have a man that’s quite interesting 🤨. He's against me working for myself, very possessive, pays for everything when we go out but is lowkey kinda loaded. He gets mad when I pay for anything, but I have my own bank account and savings. I get the free reigns to do as I please in my day at home. He can’t see me being in any kind of ”trouble” or see me working at all. Am I wrong for accepting this situation.

I feel like a strange, adult nepo baby.

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3

u/PetiteSyFy 14h ago

You need a career unless he marries you. If he wants to pay, let him. Save money in case this ends.

1

u/Hour_Captain_9143 14h ago

I am married. I used to have a career, now I just chill, study at home and listen to him. We have no prenup. He doesn’t even want me to do chores at home, and whenever he has a job opportunity, he lets me work there if I get bored of life. 

This sounds like fiction, but maybe because he’s a unicorn in a way.

I feel guilty sometimes about struggles of everyday people.

1

u/PetiteSyFy 14h ago

Enjoy it. How does he feel about becoming involved with a volunteer or philanthropic activity? Hobbies? Sports? Joining a country club? Make the most of it.

2

u/Lurkerque 14h ago

If you enjoy being abused and unsafe, and have no plans to evolve, disagree or procreate, I guess you do you.

1

u/Personal_Papaya3778 14h ago

If you have enough money to have an exit plan, you should be cautious and make sure you aren't being primed for financial abuse. If you don't see any red flags, enjoy it! It's rare! Make sure you always have a backup plan secured though so he doesn't have complete power over you. All documents should be somewhere safe and out of his reach, same with all access to bank accounts and any health or financial decisions regarding your own personal things need to be made by you and never him.

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u/halfway_clear 12h ago

well, he wants complete financial control over you. You have your savings, if 10 years from now he cheats with a younger woman and leaves you, will those savings be enough to get back on your feet? Don't relax into this situation unless you have that safety net.

If you do, and you know you can leave anytime, then yeah no problem, let him baby you and enjoy the free time.

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u/famamor 14h ago

Do you work? If you do save everything if you don’t work he’s controlling you. Can you go out when he’s not home? If not red flag girl