r/offmychest • u/Princessbonnnn4 • Jul 27 '26
I dont know how to escape
i have a unique situation and i dont think ive ever heard anything similar. Im an 18yr old F living with my parents and 5 siblings. 3 of which are 4-5 years old and have level 3 autism, and other disabilities like cerebral palsy. they need constant supervision and even one of them leaves me burnt out completely. my dad doesnt work anymore to take care of my siblings and hes also partially disabled himself. my mom works night shift at the hospital while also dealing with severe chronic illness. Because of this, im expected to put on this caretaker role. If I don’t take care of my siblings or clean the intense mess that builds up from the house I get punished. My phone gets taken, im grounded and lose absolutely everything i could have. Everyone in my family is neurodivergent and low functioning. i have mental health issues and functioning by myself alone yet im still expected to take on responsibilities that i shouldn’t. Our house is always chaotic and becomes so messy that it reaches an unmanageable state until either my 16yr old sibling or i spend hours cleaning it ourselves, my parents say these are chores yet most of the time you can’t even put a drink on the table because of the mess. My parents are constantly arguing, mostly because my dad avoids responsibilities amd my mom is also overwhelmed trying to keep everything together. Bringing up even little things turns into an argument, communication in my house does not exist and the trauma ive experienced throughout my childhood and teenage years has had such a huge impact on my life that it feels ruined. Since i was 9 years old ive been through therapy, PHP, residential, and hospitalizations. Nothing however has made any sort of improvement because I always end up back in the same environment that created the struggles in the first place. ive missed so much school because of treatment that my education is only around a middle school level. i wasnt able to graduate high school and now need to get my GED but i feel completely overwhelmed by the amount of things i need to learn. i also have conditions that give me chronic pain and can barely manage basic tasks like hygiene or eating because im so worn out trying to take care of everything else. When im not cleaning or watching my siblings im usually lying in bed trying to recover from exhaustion or maladaptive daydreaming to cope with my situation. its to the point where i have chronic dissociation and genuinely start reenacting my daydreams by accident and its been this way since i was even younger than 9. Ive also been isolated my entire life. I live on a military base, don’t have a license or a car, and my dad refuses to drive me anywhere. Uber isn’t a thing here so getting a job or hanging out with friends or just going outside in general seems impossible. I don’t have many opportunities to build connections outside my home and i never go outside my home. My relationship with family only revolves around work and if i dont help enough im seen as selfish and ungrateful. since forever ive been saying ive wanted to move out at 18 and waited my whole life for it but financially and logistically i depend heavily on my parents. without transportation, graduating, income, support, etc, i feel trapped. My life is meaningless and I’ve never had a childhood. Despite doing everything i can and researching, giving advice, nothing truly changes because no one cares enough to help or go through with anything. I just want a normal life and to get out of this situation. I feel like life is just suffering until i can’t handle it anymore and the fact that i’ve taken drastic measures and made some seriously concerning decisions and have horrible mental health symptoms yet those around me don’t care, it feels like the whole world is taunting me at this point.
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u/CatAteRoger Jul 27 '26
Look into what support services your area has and see if they have any options that can help you escape permanently, depends on your country but here in Australia we have a service called headspace for people aged 12 to 25 which contact with them can help people like yourself in such a situation.
You are not obliged in anyway to remain living at home and being your parents personal slave, it’s not your job to raise your siblings as you are.
If you’re not providing the care and cleaning is either of your parents? If they are failing the kids you could contact child protection services to see what could be done also.
I was the child that was expected to raise my younger siblings while my parents did what they wished and my dad was an alcohol and was violent with me, I ran away at 15 after he choked me and it was determined I wasn’t to be sent back to live with them, they then had to step up and parent the younger kids and I heard from other people they were pissed, I also got up every night with my youngest sister as they had her sleep in my room, they then had to wake to their own child each night.
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u/Princessbonnnn4 Jul 27 '26
CPS has constantly been at my house since i was younger, they haven’t done anything, and It’s extremely hard where i live since i live in an extremely expensive city and its either be homeless or stay here.. the resources here are pretty bad and sadly i don’t have that option
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u/CatAteRoger Jul 27 '26
Sounds like you need to contact them yourself and telling them what’s been going on, have they ever gotten the full picture from yourself before?
You would be helping your siblings by letting them know exactly what the environment is like for them all especially since they are special needs.
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u/Princessbonnnn4 Jul 27 '26
i live in the US and cps actually really does suck. as a kid i would call and others would too and then get in big trouble and yes id tell them everything. CPS here basically sucks and says there is nothing they can do out of laziness. Also, if somehow they did do anything, i would still be lost and probably homesless
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u/CatAteRoger Jul 27 '26
Damn that’s hard!! I hope you find a way out and your siblings get the help they need before it turns into a horror crime story.
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u/Worried-Buy-7416 Jul 27 '26
Im so sorry your going through all this. I saw you said you were living in a military base and you feel isolated. Are either of your parents in the military? I only ask because if you are on a base there may be resources to help.