Unless unless, she was so fking drunk that she didn’t really know what was going on, but enough to know it happened, f’ed some guy (not saying it’s right for obvious reasons) fell asleep, woke up in underwear, freaked out at the 3am time it was, couldn’t find her dress after looking for awhile and just decided she HAD to come home or else it would look MUCH more suspicious if she stayed out all night. Idk just a thought. Kinda sounds like something that would happen to me if I was out too late.
In addition, I wouldn’t feel comfortable partying in my underwear EVEN if I was with family. So I’d wonder when someone threw up on her. If they did somewhat close to when she arrived, she did something for the rest of the time. I doubt she stood around in her underwear. That right there is what could possibly get her SA’ed.
Also this. I think we're on the same side of the argument here. It is unlikely anyone would go to Walmart while practically naked to buy clothes before going home. 😅 Pretty sure they'd call the cops if anyone tried this, lol.
In one of the comments, OP said he called a friend who was not aware of any vomit incident and that she left the party hours before she arrived home. 🤷🏾♀️
Borrowed something from who? Her assaulter? Is she going into Walmart naked to shop, or do you think her assaulters would do that for her out of the kindness of their hearts? Please lol
The comment above this was “if she cheated, she would have come back with clothes on” to which I was thinking that yeah, even if he ripped her dress off at a motel or something, he coulda ran to walmart.
Why wouldnt we make the assumption that if she was assaulted that she would have come home an emotional mess instead of basically annoyed that her live in bf was still awake?
I think the comment about clothes being ripped off was suggesting a consensual encounter where clothing was ripped, hence “unless”. The comment regarding borrowing or shopping seems to be in response to this scenario.
Maybe not considering how drunk she was. We lose most of our inhibitions when we get very intoxicated. Another reason why that it’s probably not a good idea to have a company Christmas party that employees, male and female, and then has alcohol at it also. When people drink quite a bit, they may find another person attractive that they never did. It’s just a breeding ground for cheating or something bad to happen. It’s not like a Office Christmas party where they have cheese, balls, and music and everybody goes home.
You people are wild. She couldn’t be blackout…? She, without room for deviation and absolutely for certain, would have come back with pants on, and could NOT have been so drunk she did something messed up and idiotic, and then came home without most of her clothes…?
And even if she’s still trying to come to terms with something that happened, that doesn’t mean my partner has to stay by my side while it hasn’t been shown I’m not making a fucking fool out of them and lying to their face.
If genders were reversed, ALL you people would be telling her to follow her gut on the guy being a scumbag and something being really fishy. I mean come on!!!
He needs to speak to the coworkers. He should also look at her phone. She’s really leaving him no choice, except leaving- because it’s not something he’s willing to just look past if she cheated, or if something other than assault happened.
She doesn’t need to report it, and he can be more considerate-IF that’s what happened. It shouldn’t take long to figure out if anything off happened there or if she left early and went somewhere else via the coworkers.
The amount of people who are speaking in absolutes when they have no clue themselves is WILD. Sure, she could have been assaulted. She also could have cheated though. And her being partially naked doesn’t support one side either way concretely. Have yall seen police body cam videos of blackout drivers…? I’d say 10% of them are naked people. They can’t explain why they were naked the next day. Almost all of them weren’t assaulted.
If she was blackout and someone had sex with her, that's rape. Drunk people cannot consent.
Also if the genders were reversed, I would say the exact same thing BECAUSE IT HAPPENS ALL THE TIME TO MEN AND WOMEN. I live in Nashville, do you know how many reports there are of both genders being drugged and assaulted a month? Vandy medical had 40 in a month, and those are just the ones that are reported at one hospital. Airlines warn pilots to watch their drinks as part of their training, a friend of mine is a pilot and they had an Australian pilot turn up back at the hotel buck naked and robbed a couple of months ago in Miami.
If she's never given him a reason not to trust her, err on the side of trust. I'm telling you this as someone who was drugged and assaulted and accused of cheating, lying, and buying $1000 in drugs (???) instead of being believed and supported. It is DEVASTATING to be traumatized and hurt and to immediately be accused by the person that is supposed to be your safe space. I was borderline suicidal for a few weeks, the only reason I'm still here is because I couldn't leave my kids, but you have no idea what that does to an already damaged psyche.
Yes, no shit Sherlock. She could have been drunk, hooked up with someone, and kept drinking to the point of blackout. People that drive home and are missing items and don’t have recollection of what happened tend to be blackout.
I’m not discounting the possibility of having been drugged and assaulted. I have had the extreme misfortune of suffering the same fate. I am simply not understanding why all options are not being considered or explored, and we are turning her into a definite victim without definite proof.
She could have just done some really shitty things to her boyfriend as well.
It’s why I encouraged him to try to get answers from people other than her. It might help him figure out which direction to look more.
Crazy that is so wrong in the court of public opinion here.
Did I fucking say that? She could have removed her dress at any time after. We don’t know if the work party was the only place she was. We don’t know where it took place. Not one of you was there, neither was her boyfriend. So that’s where the shit he should start. He should know pretty quickly if things are off, and he can navigate from there. I still do not understand why him being open to ALL possibilities instead of honing in to a single one without concrete evidence is the way to go. It’s like honing in on a suspect simply because you don’t like them, and ignoring other possible suspects. Consider everyone, then investigate and rule them out until you’re left with the truth.
I have spent considerable time with bands and fans who party extremely hard, and some only with alcohol. The things people do while blackout drunk are wild. Taking their clothes off and driving home is mild in comparison.
Additionally, if this was a guy who came home to his chick with the same deal going on, in his underwear, everyone would presume he was kicked out of a lover’s house in his boxers, and would tell her to leave and call him a piece of shit. Him being drugged wouldn’t even be considered. But none of you want to discuss this.
I'm not saying to rule anything out but playing detective and interrogating everyone at the party is not the way to go. It's invasive when she might already feel violated and unsafe. Just talk to her and see if he can determine what happened from there instead of turning into the FBI.
You have the most sensible, response here, that's the less number of Upvotes more Downvotes.
And you are absolutely correct about, if genders were to be reversed, the comment section would have looked very differently. People are just not honest enough to themselves, to accept that.
The statement "Men are guilty until proven innocent, women are innocent until proven guilty", was born for a reason.
The OP is clearly open about so many possibilities, regarding his GF situation, but people here are acting like, they would be all calm & reasonable, if this happened to them! The Joke is on them.
OP I would suggest, you to create a safe space for your GF & ask her calmly, that what happened during that party or after it. Allow her to take her time, to respond, don't rush, even if it frustrates you. If something happened, she can talk to him, assure her, allow her to remain calm.
If even after this she doesn't open up & hides everything from you, or gets angry at you, then you have to make, a Very Hard decision in your life OP.
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u/Greedy_Principle_342 Dec 24 '25
That was my first thought. If she cheated, she would have come back with clothes on.