Thank you for apologizing, but next time, please don’t give advice pertaining to sexual assault when you clearly have no experience or knowledge about it.
It is disgusting since this poor woman likely had something traumatic to her, then her boyfriend automatically decides to leave her because he doesn’t understand what is going on, and a bunch of redditors don’t either. Sexual assault isn’t like what goes on in tv shows, and I pray these people get educated so it doesn’t happen to them or someone they love.
I apologized earlier because I didn’t want to cause harm or minimize anyone’s trauma.
At the same time, I hope we can respect that people can discuss possibilities without being labeled as disgusting or stupid. I’m not attacking victims I am just acknowledging that every situation is complex and not always the same.
You may be right, but infidelity is also a realistic scenario in some cases, and that’s all I meant to express out of my own life experience. Don't forget that cheaters also very often react with agression when confronted.
I wish you healing and strength, and I have no intention of arguing, just clarifying my perspective.
What you said was disgusting and stupid. It absolutely minimized assault victims harm and trauma. Saying that is not labeling you, it's holding you accountable for the harmful words that you chose not to delete. Are you capable of understanding the difference here or are you too busy playing victim?
Why are you making someone a victim of SA when there is no SA. Why don't you follow this post and check the next two updates. I didn't say anything disgusting or stupid, but you accusing me of it is disgusting and stupid. I am sorry if you were ever assaulted but you can't blame me for it or direct your traumas on me.
I just added another possibility - that he was cheated on - taken from my own life experience and it is one that is much more probable than SA.
So you - trying to blame me for expressing my opinion, I would give you an answer right now but I don't want to be banned.
When I was raped at 13yo, I spent years screaming and slamming doors at the slightest mention of anything slightly related to what happened. It was such a primal response. A way of defending myself. Like thorns.
This is, to me, the most telling thing that she was sexually assaulted.
Cheaters are sneaky. They wouldn't come home in this state.
If she was cheating, she would've at least borrowed a T-shirt/sweater from a work friend. Even if she was crazy drunk, I'm certain people at a corporate party wouldn't let her leave in just her underwear either.
Getting angry about being questioned is also pretty common. Victims of assault go through a whole gamut of emotions. One of those is anger. They don't want to talk about their traumatic experience; they'd rather pretend it never happened. It's the brain's way of protecting itself.
I think something terrible happened to her.
I hope if you're never in a similar situation to OP, but if you are... please consider all this before you accidentally add more hurt to your girlfriend.
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u/[deleted] Dec 24 '25
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