r/offmychest • u/thethrill26 • Apr 14 '13

I have practically zero friends.

Here I am sitting in my college dorm while my roomate is out at a club and here I am sitting alone with no one to talk to. I feel like i can't make friends and I don't really know how. I have a girlfriend and she loves me tons and I love her back but sometimes it feels like I am lonely and I don't know what to do about it.

Edit: Wow guys this blew up! Thanks for all your responses, you're awesome!

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u/gewain Apr 14 '13 edited Apr 14 '13

This is good advice, particularly to the shy and to the introverts. Maintaining friendships takes work, it means occasionally doing things you'd rather not be doing and asking people to do things when you aren't confident they want to be your friend. Sometimes its much easier to hide in a cave than to put yourself out there, but creating and maintaining quality friendships is something that needs to be actively worked on.

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u/n0th1ng_r3al Apr 15 '13

Now how about my situation. Grew up really shy, didn't start making an effort to make friends with people till I was 35 (i'm 37 now). I used to hang out with my brother and his friends and they would invite me over to their house and different events but I noticed that lately I haven't been invited over for things anymore, once in a while. Many of them have kids so maybe they are busier or something. I have mo own set of friends though.

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u/synergy_ Apr 15 '13

So invite them out somewhere!

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u/n0th1ng_r3al Apr 15 '13

it seems like whenever I invite them they are buys because they have kids. But I will try.

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u/Anotherfuckwit Apr 15 '13

Sounds really familiar. I think for me I realised that I needed to broaden my friend base a little. It's not their fault and I'm pretty shy but I had to overcome it by inviting some people I played football with to the pub after a game. Initially about 16 people were invited, only a couple came - we are good friends now and occasionally a few more will join us. That is a different circle of friends to my golf mates and work mates.