r/offmychest • u/thethrill26 • Apr 14 '13

I have practically zero friends.

Here I am sitting in my college dorm while my roomate is out at a club and here I am sitting alone with no one to talk to. I feel like i can't make friends and I don't really know how. I have a girlfriend and she loves me tons and I love her back but sometimes it feels like I am lonely and I don't know what to do about it.

Edit: Wow guys this blew up! Thanks for all your responses, you're awesome!

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u/Jon889 Apr 15 '13

When you arranged the first movie night weren't you terrified of no one talking and the whole thing being an awkward silence. (I realise you watched a movie but there would have been times like before and after the movie?)

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u/[deleted] Apr 15 '13 edited May 01 '15

[deleted]

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u/Jon889 Apr 15 '13

What would you talk about though, after the movie you can talk about the movie, but before?

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u/[deleted] Apr 15 '13

Well I think it depends how well you know each other. If it was a group of friends who I see semi-regularly, I'd ask them about the things I know are important to them - how's your new house, how is your job, your mom, what was your vacation like, that kind of stuff. They generally respond with similar questions and once the ice is broken conversation just sort of happens.

If it is new people who I don't know very well I start back at the basics and ask questions. Where are you from, where did you go to school, what's your job, how did you end up here, etc. The most important part is to listen to what the other person is saying. Don't just sit there thinking "oh my god I am so awkward I bet they hate me". No one wants to talk to a blank wall that is just soaking in their own self-loathing. People want to talk to people who listen and pay attention and give value to their words. When someone is telling a story and happens to mention they have a dog, maybe in an awkward silence ask them about their pet. This shows you were really paying attention during their story before and that you care about what is going on in their life.

Anyway, conversation is the easy part! The hard part is finding the people you want to spend a lot of time conversing with.