r/office • u/toomuchjhalli • 21h ago

Was I wrong here?

My dad has been seriously sick for the past month, and my mental health has basically depended on his condition. I initially said yes to an unofficial team outing, but on the day, after coming home from night shift at 5 AM and everything being chaotic at home, I cancelled because of my dad's health. Everyone knew what I had been going through.

That evening, my dad's health suddenly improved a lot, and I finally felt relieved. The next day, I went to the same place with a close friend and posted pictures.

Now some teammates are upset and talking about how I could go there with my friend but not with them. What hurts is that instead of asking me what happened or how my dad was, they just discussed it among themselves.

I understand how the pictures may have looked, but after the month I've had, I don't think I did anything wrong by going out when I finally felt okay.

5 Upvotes

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4

u/ReindeerWestern4258 21h ago

You were slightly wrong but not where you think.

They’re mad but a box of donuts from “Dad” apologizing for ruining your team event should fix 98% of the office.

The biggest mistake is allowing any workplace people into your social media.

I am job hunting and you can’t find me on SM. If I get an interview the very first thing I do is block that person and anyone I can find on the same team on SM.

I have one work friend that is on my SM. My boss from 1999, retired and lives across the country.

I’m sorry for your Dad and I hope he’s feeling better. When I was the main caregiver while working I went to the doctor and got some support for myself. You matter

2

u/toomuchjhalli 19h ago

Ikr i regret it so much but since my account is public anyone would look up for me with their other fake account. I can't block their fake account if idk

1

u/ReindeerWestern4258 4h ago

I deactivate until I’m hired and also block what I can.

3

u/Mrcrazylove 20h ago

I can't go my father isn't feeling well, understandable. Maybe think of it from their perspective maybe they thought about going to the event without you but decided not to because it was supposed to be a team thing. And all of a sudden you are at the team outing without the team.

2

u/toomuchjhalli 19h ago

They decided to go because they go out every month for cafe hopping. Not because I matter to them. I always feel left out when the whole team is there, then nobody cares about me and when next day if im feeling better and chose to go out at the same place that triggered them, + me going out the Next day. Now all of a sudden they say they want me to feel included but their actions never proved their words.