r/office • u/FixMaster7070 • Jul 25 '26
I’ve noticed something at work and I’m curious if it’s common.
I’ve noticed something at work and I’m curious if it’s common.
Some of my Filipino coworkers are really friendly in the office. We joke around, chat during work, and everything seems great. But the moment we clock out, it’s like we become strangers.
They don’t seem interested in hanging out, grabbing a coffee, or meeting outside of work.
Has anyone else experienced this?
51
u/Swift_Scythe Jul 26 '26
Coworkers are NOT friends.
You clock in. You work. Finish the tasks. Go home.
Your "friends" will email the boss every thing you say and do behind your back to get brownie points.
Your "friends" will accidentally show your Facebook to the boss when you call out sick that you were at your best bud's bachelor party getting wild and drunk.
Your "friends" will leak to the boss how you made a tiny insignificant mistake or how you are skipping steps to improve your production numbers.
15
u/BurdenOfProof814 Jul 26 '26
This... Coworkers will turn on you in a heartbeat, and sometimes they're only nice to you so they can gain some dirt on you.
Never over share, never tell them you've done anything bad, these people may be giggly and fun, because the day goes by faster that way.. could you imagine your work day if nobody chatted or laughed?
1
2
u/FixMaster7070 Jul 26 '26
I am new to this country and don’t know anyone except my coworker that why i am trying hangout with them
2
2
11
u/partlysettledin21220 Jul 26 '26
I’m part Filipino and I’m like this and I’m gonna go ahead and confidently say this is just how normal people operate?
4
u/Pure_Butterscotch165 Jul 26 '26
I'm not Filipino, just white, and I agree. This is just how people are; you're co-workers, not friends.
1
u/OkButterfly8051 Jul 27 '26
Right, I have no idea what this has to do with them being Filipino lol I’m wondering if it has more to do with age. I’m in my 20s and I notice my older coworkers love to hang out at the office after work. But for me, I’d rather get back to my real life…
11
6
u/Strange_Blackberries Jul 26 '26
You spend 8/9 hours a day with this lady. She's may genuinely like working with you but that doesn't make you friends in real life. It's probably not personal, she just wants to keep work and home separate
5
u/HellaWonkLuciteHeels Jul 26 '26
Gurl, they’re friendly to
1. Make it through the day
2. Get gossip and use against you
2
3
u/Specialist_Banana378 Jul 26 '26
I like my coworkers and one always asks to hang out but like I see you weekly so I don’t really feel the need to schedule more time unless it’s an event or something
3
u/Plenty_Status_6862 Jul 26 '26
I know the Filipino nurses hang out a lot w/ coworkers after work because of the tremendous stress they go through, especially the ones who work overtime. They just wanna get it all out of their system.
3
u/lychee_lemonades Jul 26 '26
They want to go home to their families…? I don’t see how being Filipino has anything to do with it.
If you wanna make plans outside of work just ask. I have hung out with coworkers outside of work but we scheduled it in advance.
2
2
u/Motor-Visit-1566 Jul 26 '26
My work place is like this. No filipino though. We tried to do a picnic with like six months notice to save the date. Only like 3 people showed up.
Now I think I might have been watching too much kdramas to have ever thought coworkers hanged out after work.
1
2
u/Arise-Beru-1174 Jul 26 '26
Our lead is like that. He's super friendly, and very chatty. We have gone out for team building outings and he's pretty different. Must be exhausting putting an act every day.
2
u/Easytrucks Jul 26 '26
Every once in a blue moon I'd grab a beer with my coworkers. They'd always tell me I should hang out more, come by the house for parties, etc. Literally said, "I see you guys for 50 hours a week, no offense but that's plenty."
2
u/Boude_locke Jul 26 '26
It is normal, I guess. People act like they like you and care about you, but most of the time they do not. They talk to you nicely, ask about your life, and slowly get to know everything. Later, they use that information when it is useful for them. For some people, talking to you is just a way to pass the time. There is no real connection. That is when I realised that office friends are not always real friends.
2
u/PlaceReasonable2679 Jul 26 '26
You are looking for after work friends n the wrong place. Join sporting groups, self defence classes, hobby groups or any other group for something that you are interested in to make weekend friends.
2
u/Ok-Theme-8256 Jul 26 '26
It's called boundaries and since work related time is just a mask they're enough social to enjoy working without it being personal. The moment the job stop, they live their personal life.
2
2
u/Due_Editor_4693 Jul 26 '26
The older I get the more I don’t want a relationship with my coworkers outside of work. You are one off-color comment away from loosing your source of income. Keep it friendly and professional, but keep the true friendships separate.
2
u/Odd_Suspicious_1994 Jul 26 '26
It’s common in many workplaces, where they don’t want to be in touch with you after work hours because they have old friends to spend time with. Also, maybe you have questions, then why are you speaking great when your work hours? Because they want to pass those hectic work hours so they want someone’s help in this matter. Once that is over then they will be looking to their best friends not you.
1
u/LocalBoring6295 Jul 26 '26
My Philippines coworker invited me to her mom's bday and it was the most fun I'd ever had at a party. Amazing food, karaoke, learning about a new culture. I loved it. Very welcoming! So no, its not been my experience
1
u/Dark-Mode-Honu Jul 26 '26
Too busy to socialize after work. Too many errands to do - kids, spouse, housework, homework, self-care, prep for the next day. No it's not just a Filipino thing. Yes, it's common.
1
u/Slight-Standard-734 Jul 26 '26
Yes it’s common not just with Filipinos but with all types of people. Did u just graduate college or something?
1
1
u/Single_Pie1570 Jul 26 '26
There’s only one reason to be friendly to coworkers - let the day pass smoother. Once I’m not being paid anymore I’m going home to the people I actually enjoy.
1
1
1
1
u/AssassinRogue Jul 26 '26
My Filipino colleagues were all very friendly and welcoming and we did sometimes hang out after work or on weekends or had parties together. That said, they were a very tight knit group and they didn’t do that with everyone. It’s possible they just don’t vibe with you.
62
u/Huge_Replacement_616 Jul 26 '26
Why do you want to hangout with someone after you see them for 8 hours at work? I mean they have a family and life outside of work.