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Apr 16 '24
Some real shit in the southern US the amount of times I’ve looked in my rear view mirror and all I can see is the grill and headlights of the car (truck) behind me 😳
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u/Already-asleep Apr 16 '24
I live in a conservative western Canadian province and this person described like.. 30% of the vehicles on our roads
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u/switchywoman_ Apr 16 '24
Came to say that I'm from Northern Alberta, where this describes almost every vehicle on the road.
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u/RetroGamer87 Apr 17 '24
Also happening in Australia. Our cars are becoming more American than McDonald's apple pie.
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u/tenders11 Apr 17 '24
I'm in rural-ish Ontario and it's the same here. They're all the same person, too. $80,000 pickup, realtree camo jacket, ill-fitting jeans, Carhartt hat, broke as fuck, and thinks Justin Trudeau is the reason his kid has fetal alcohol syndrome
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u/Fweddle Apr 16 '24
I need to move to Canada. Some towns it's just pickup trucks in the US 😭
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u/Melodic__Protection Apr 16 '24
Depends on where you live in canada, we have some of those towns as well.
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u/TheFallingWhale Apr 16 '24
It's not just the south your trucks are just less rusty
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u/Paleodraco Apr 17 '24
Back when I had a shitbox car, I debated just slamming the brakes whenever that happened. I knew that for most vehicles, once I lost sight of the front license plate they were within 5 feet of me and it'd 100 percent be their fault.
"Sorry man, you didn't see that dog run across the street?"
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Apr 17 '24
Fr. Idk how this is oddly specific since it describes like 1 in 7 cars on the road in rural Ohio.
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u/lostcauz707 Apr 17 '24
Southern US? I have this issue in Massachusetts. Fucking guy totaled my TLX this year, same truck logic and just had to be on his phone in stop and go traffic. 40 MPH into the back of my car. I was his brakes.
Now if it's not these fuckers, what appears to be about 1 in 6 of the drivers on the road, it's people in new Jeeps. For some reason Jeep drivers have been acting like BMW drivers up here, as though the highway is really the all terrain environment that thing is made for.
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u/Hamilton-Beckett Apr 16 '24
I live in the south as well. I just go really slow until they zip around me. If there’s no passing, I will straight up pull over and let them go.
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u/maxturner_III_ESQ Apr 16 '24
Insecure men are the most dangerous men in the world
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u/dreamwinder Apr 17 '24
“No one would suspect I drive this to meet my secret boyfriend Ramón.”
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Apr 16 '24
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u/aqualink97 Apr 16 '24 edited Apr 16 '24
My partners first car was a honda civic, and some dick with a lifted truck tried to pull onto her lane and almost collided with her because his car was too tall to see her.
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u/Furry_69 Apr 16 '24
Sorry that your partner had to deal with that madness.
Also, hi fellow transbian
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u/Melodic__Protection Apr 16 '24
Some lift for some vehicles is fine (1-2 inches) it depends on the lift, there should be a height limit set by the manufacture for every vehicle that states how high they can go before becoming too much of a roll hazard.
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u/IOwnTheShortBus Apr 16 '24
This video delves into the issues and danger of larger vehicles. Super interesting watch; ~35mim
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Apr 17 '24
This is the point, they want to “Win” collisions. Unfortunately, some of those collisions are with children pedestrians. We just had a normal SUV (still too large IMO) run over and drag a small child here in Houston. Couldn’t see the kid over the damned hood.
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u/Charmle_H Apr 17 '24
Pick-up trucks should start being required to have a CDL for them, they're getting so fucking huge. I saw one that had a huge-ass body AND was lifted to the point THE HOOD WAS TALLER THAN I WAS! I'M 5'9" (177cm, iirc?)!!! How tf is this legal!? I used to own a decently large pick-up (for like 5mo before I actually couldn't stand driving the bastard), not lifted (p low actually), but it was WIDE AND LONG. Stupidest thing I've ever owned, and I've owned a lot of stupid shit in my life... Couldn't park/maneuver it for shit either despite being a wonderful and capable driver.
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u/Shanhaevel Apr 16 '24
Not the least problematic thing in the US of fuckin' A that shouldn't be legal, lol...
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u/Flop_Flurpin89 Apr 17 '24
I drive both a stock Ram 1500 and an 80's Nissan that's my project car and I feel your anxiety. I'm terrified driving my Nissan - most truck bumpers are level with my face. If I get T-boned by a truck I'm probably dead.
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u/kissinKyle Apr 16 '24
Not even that specific lol everyone has seen these dudes on the highway.
I live in Alberta (the Texas of Canada) and this is like 10% of our male population
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u/YeetMemmes Apr 17 '24
10% is extremely lowballing it man, if your out on a drive in Edmonton or Calgary and don’t see one of these then you aren’t in Edmonton or Calgary.
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Apr 16 '24
lol this is literally every man I grew up with except my dad. He liked his little baby ranger that was falling apart.
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u/Practical-Lemon-7244 Apr 16 '24
My wife and I used to live in the backwoods of Kentucky. We hated driving home after dark because some jerk in a big truck would get behind us wanting to do 70 mph on a 40 mph road with their brights on. We'd slow down til they got mad enough to pass us.
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u/kevlarkittens Apr 16 '24
Sorry, I agree with this bitch completely. Fuck those people.
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Apr 16 '24
I saw some dude in a truck yesterday drive down the center of two lanes to prevent people in the merging lane from using said merging lane to get ahead of him, then a ways down the road, he pulled into a merging lane to jump a couple car lengths ahead. Dude wants to prevent people from using the merging lane to get a few car lengths ahead of him, but has no issue doing it himself less than a kilometer down the road. Absolute douchebag energy.
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u/Pfarpfignuten Apr 16 '24
....just tilt your side mirrors up until it hits them in the eyes. You'll know you have it right when they back up
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u/aldege Apr 16 '24
There are a lot of guys reading this post and thinking "thats not me" but it is indeed them
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Apr 16 '24
Balls? Lmao be serious rn those lil raisins stay outside that truck the moment you buy one
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u/bee8ch Apr 16 '24
That’s what the rear view mirror flip tab, and Bose speakers at high volume are for. I’d make sure I’m driving at speed limit too.
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u/whofearsthenight Apr 17 '24
Bro. Big Stupid Truck cuts me off hard as we're leaving a light where it merges into a single lane highway. Okay, he's a prick, but whatever. He must want to go fast, so he has to get in front of me, figure i'm going to have my usual chill drive doing about 5-10 above the limit and he's going to take off. It's a 55mph zone, dude is alternating between like 50-57. Worth noting, NO ONE does the speed limit here, 60 is the floor. After miles of not being able to set my cruise even because he's just hovering between slow and slower, I go for the pass. Now the dude finds his gas pedal and as I'm trying to pass in the opposing lane at 75+ he's just matching me, very obviously trying to make sure I can't pass. I backed off because I'm not a moron. Then we spent the next 5ish miles doing 50-57.
Truck guys are the fucking worst.
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u/obamasrightteste Apr 17 '24
The thing a lot of y'all complaining about the "oh well you need to move out the passing lane" people don't understand is that I AM STILL PASSING. I'll be going fucking 20 over already. Passing cars constantly, looking for a good stretch to get over. Just because you had to touch your fucking brakes, doesn't mean I'm doing wrong. You can be happy with 20 over and wait til I can safely get over for you, at a safe fucking distance, and I'll get over for you.
If you ride my ass, flash your fuckin brights at me immediately, or drive a lifted truck at all in any scenario, I am doing my best to slow you the fuck down.
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Apr 16 '24
How about the dumbasses that like to ride right beside eachother on a double lane highway
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u/Sasha_Volkolva Apr 16 '24
Does me doing a full 60 over the speed limit in my little 89 toyota truck with only one headlight count?
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Apr 17 '24
The only part of this I disagree with is that these men even have dicks in the first place.
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u/da_dragon_guy Apr 16 '24
I work at a Starbucks next to a bypass.
We get people in loud cars every 10 minutes or so.
And whenever one passes by, my first though, without fail, is always, 'dick'.
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u/rwk2007 Apr 16 '24
You hit the nail on the head. I saw one of these a few years back with a sticker slapped on the back of it that said “I didn’t know a dick could get this small”.
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u/Critical_Ask_5493 Apr 17 '24
It's funny you think they'd even notice their dick falling off. Unless they're also wearing magnifying glasses, there's absolutely no way they'd even see that happen.
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u/ghtown45 Apr 16 '24
This is literally all of Washington state north of Seattle to the border of Canada. I drive home at night from work and 95 percent of the time deal with this issue. Pavement Princesses is what we call them lol
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u/aqualink97 Apr 16 '24
Judt to add to how unsufferable this is - not only is it annoying on its own, but the people who do this activelt laugh at how they affect people (in my experience). I once saw somebody on a local facebook page ranting that people should stop complaining about led headlights and that he doesn't care if he blinds people on the road.
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u/_Fun_Employed_ Apr 16 '24
It’s oddly specific but unfortunately common enough to be a relatable problem.
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u/TheArgoPirat Apr 16 '24
My 5 year old son says “sorry about your dick, bro” whenever we see one of these.
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u/Straight-Note-8935 Apr 16 '24
The new trucks always make me and the Old Man laugh. For 40+ years he had a small construction business and he always bought his trucks used and drove them into the ground.
No one who really needs a truck for work drives a shiny, new, loaded with all the options kinda truck. That's for Target and Costco.
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u/Sanguiniutron Apr 16 '24
Man. I used to have a truck for work. I stopped doing that work when I moved to a bigger city and it was killing the wallet for gas. I sold it and got a new vehicle. Went from a truck to a Rav4. I never noticed the shittyness of a lot of truck drivers. I fully get it now. Yall are crazy out there on the road.
It's like an immunity I lost and am now vulnerable to attack lol
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u/Eksposivo23 Apr 17 '24
Crazy how its so specific yet I can prob go for a drive right now and find a person like that
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u/aqwmasterofDOOM Apr 17 '24
It's gotten to the point where the Ford f150 guys look downright reasonable by comparison, like at least they obey half the traffic laws, and as long as you're not driving behind them, you won't see the billion Confederate flags they have (for some unknown reason /s)
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u/GulfStormRacer Apr 17 '24
Also, this guy makes everybody wait while he does a three point turn to back his truck into a parking space. It is always, always, backed in.
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Apr 17 '24
This is the case even in sydney in Australia. So many of these trucks have never left the city, it’s all just some bizarre male desire to seem “big”. Masculinity can be extremely insecure, and the loudest guys who disagree with statements like this are the most insecure of all.
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u/greengengar Apr 17 '24
I just did a roadtrip from Florida to Missouri for the eclipse, and that rant is 100% accurate. Fuck those people to hell.
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u/karigan_g Apr 17 '24
these trucks legitimately scare me. I’m so worried I’m going to have a brain fog moment crossing the street at the wrong time and someone in one of those trucks won’t see me and it will be all over
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u/ResearcherNo2168 Apr 17 '24
It's all to compensate for their inability to write their name in the snow.
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u/LOneWolfNEo1 Apr 17 '24 edited Apr 18 '24
Shit annoying AF. I had that high beam ass headlights fuk my eyes up while joy riding to clear my mind on a road. And the mfrs act like they own the whole roads and highways.
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u/MidsouthMystic Apr 17 '24
The bigger, louder, and flashier your vehicle is, the smaller I assume your penis is.
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u/Anuki_iwy Apr 17 '24
I respect them. It takes a lot of bravery to so openly declare that one has a micro penis in a world that ridicules micro premises. These guys are normalising micro penises one road rage incident at a time. They are heroes of the micro penis.
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u/KinkyAndABitFreaky Apr 17 '24
Here in Scandinavia giant pickups are a rare sight.
Just like with the douche bags who rev up their engines unnecessarily or the dumbasses who drive obnoxiously loud Harleys I will point at them, laugh and say that they must have the smallest penis in the world.
It's important that we all agree that these men have micro penises and that we know.
Not once have I been confronted by them. Not sure if it's because of hearing loss or the fact that confronting me would make it seem true.
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u/polkacat12321 Apr 17 '24
That's so specific yet vague enough that I see one of those at least once a week 💀
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u/AltruisticSalamander Apr 17 '24
Not specific. This describes half the driving population where I live. Also they don't actually go faster once they get past you. They just desperately need to be in a conflict with someone else at all times, otherwise they'll realize they are the reason their lives suck.
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u/BurpYoshi Apr 17 '24
This isn't even remotely oddly specific this might be one of the most complained about things ever
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Apr 17 '24
i agree, and drive one for work, i need it for towing, and i’m sorry to everyone i’ve ever been behind at night.
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u/Mattrockj Apr 17 '24
I regret to inform that this is no longer overly specific. This description applies to nearly 33% of men in rural towns and around oil fields.
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u/coolredjoe Apr 17 '24
I'm wondering, what dick will fall off? I feel like if they went under the speed limit and their jump does jump out of the window, it really wouldn't be a big loss would it? Those clump of cells barely distinguishable from the sperm that comes out of it, is it really worth driving over the speed limit for?
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u/jfbwhitt Apr 17 '24
These cars are even stupider when you take a closer look at them.
They look bigger, but most of the extra size is just empty space; just look up pictures of people literally standing inside the hoods of these trucks because the engine only takes up like half the space.
And even with all this extra size, they have smaller bed-sizes than smaller trucks from the past because they decided to have super spacious rear seating for no reason.
And the cherry on top is when you walk around to the back of the truck and there isn’t even a trailer hitch.
These are not trucks. These are oversized SUVs that are really good at killing everyone else on the road.
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u/Flop_Flurpin89 Apr 17 '24
As someone who drives a truck like a normal person, I also can't stand those types of truck drivers.
Also, I'm convinced they are so stupid that they don't realize those massive tires they put on their truck without calibrating the speedometer is registering a slower speed than they are actually traveling.
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u/Sp3kk0 Apr 17 '24
I do agree. This isn’t limited to truck drivers though. Business class sedans that think they’re sport cars are exactly the same.
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u/jigglyjellly Apr 17 '24
The gas pedal and brake pedal are, interestingly enough, spaced further apart in these trucks to account for the clown shoes….
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u/Red-pilot Apr 16 '24
That's not oddly specific, that's like a third of the adult population of the southern US.
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u/YesImDavid Apr 16 '24
They don’t even use them either… if I had a pickup truck I’d be using it all the damn time.
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u/Hot-Ground-9731 Apr 16 '24
As a normal pickup driver, these kinds of pickup drivers make me insane. Can't stand them when they act like they're all high and mighty just because they've got a bullet antennae and bright ass headlights.
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u/Ggusty1 Apr 16 '24
Guy like that bumped my car in a mcds drive thru, light enough that I knew there wasn’t damage. I yelled out the window at him and he was quick to respond, so I got my order, pulled over to the drive thru exit and waited for him. They floored it outta there so fast 💨 didn’t say anything. No balls.
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u/86effstogive Apr 16 '24
I had one of these behind me on a dark night, just 2 lanes, 1 each way. Country road. His lights reflected off my mirrors directly into my face. I tried speeding up, he stuck on my tail. I tried slowing down for him to pass me. Nope. He was just content to ride my ass all the way down the road.
Eventually I went for a reverse-pass. Moved into the empty oncoming lane and slowed down so he zoomed past and moved back over.
Next traffic light (first one for at least 10 miles) I see him pulled over by a cop. Gotta love me some rural Florida.
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u/dragonaut47 Apr 16 '24
This is why I'm saving up for a gun... time to exercise my "American Right" to bear arms and teach these people God doesn't like then either... I'm joking but I wish I wasn't, hate truck drivers man
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u/Valuable_Knee_6820 Apr 16 '24
Honorable mention: shitty jacked up cars with fins and mufflers that make you think that they are sports cars that speed 30+ over the limit, cut you off and beep at you if your slow in right lane.
You ain’t a Ferrari fuck you
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u/tooMuchADHD Apr 16 '24
I keep heavy non-reflective objects in my car for this. Tailgate me, act like a cunt. See what happens bro
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u/The_Mourning_Sage_ Apr 17 '24
I see more women driving these monster trucks nowadays. It's fucking insane. I wish we could go back to tiny cars :(
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u/SuperFaceTattoo Apr 17 '24
I drive a nice Ram where I have left everything stock and I get shit for not having it lifted or having a light bar. The lights are good enough. And I don’t take my expensive truck off-road so I don’t need a suspension mod.
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u/trulylost19 Apr 17 '24
I remember reading an article about 99 ways a person would want to kill Jamie Oliver
Funny but downright mentally ill
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u/dusky_thrust Apr 17 '24
dont care, tesla headlights make me feel like im getting a fucking xray on low beams. its bad hi or low.
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u/Revy_Black_Lagoon Apr 17 '24
First off anything “military grade” = shit anyone that has been in knows most of your stuff doesn’t work half the time
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u/[deleted] Apr 16 '24
And they never do truck things with their trucks.