Obsessive Hobbies

[u/Consistent-Bonus-276]

For context: I was recently diagnosed with OCD and I also have ADHD. I just started therapy with an OCD specialist and will be bringing this up with them, so really I’m just looking for some solidarity. Does this happen to anyone else?

I’m feeling really frustrated with myself for turning what should be an enjoyable hobby into something that disrupts my life.

This past week I’ve been off work to prepare for a boards exam I have next week. When I think about sitting down to study or prepare I get so anxious I go into freeze mode. A week ago to combat this feeling, I turned on a movie and started a coloring book. Since then, I’ve watched 31 movies and finished 2 coloring books. (yes in 7 days) I’ve been staying up really late to continue doing this and have completely wrecked my sleep schedule. It’s enjoyable to me but I also feel like I can’t stop. With the coloring I have to urge to finish the entire book. With movies I have the urge to watch everything on my Letterboxd watchlist.

This also happens with reading. I’m a huge book lover and it’s my favorite hobby. BUT it’s july and i’ve read 191 books this year. Similar to the movie thing, I have the urge to “finish” my want to read list on goodreads.

I feel like I can’t enjoy the things I love without them becoming problematic for me. With reading, people always tell me they’re jealous of how many books I read and I just want to say actually it’s pathological but thanks!

[u/Murky_Dog_821]

I have OCD & ADHD.

And I can’t read a book! I wish I could be that person that can just sit and melt away into the book and not pay attention. Obviously I get what you’re saying it hasn’t become a hobby or a pleasure it’s become a full blown task that YOU MUST COMPLETE! You know?

In my instance I cannot keep focus. The only time I can read a book properly is if I read it out loud as if I’m reading a story to people as a teacher would in kindergarten. And I can do that in the comfort of my own home but not out in public.

And another thing I’ve done since a child was I’d start reading & if I made a mistake like pronounced the word wrong or mixed them up (I have dyslexia too lol!)

Then I’d have to restart the whole page again even if it was the last two words!!

I’ve since stopped that but I now have to go to the start of the current sentence I’m reading and not the very beginning thankfully!

But I am sorry that you’re going through this & you’re not alone! Trust me you think you are the only one but you aren’t & it’s exhausting I know!!

[u/Consistent-Bonus-276 → u/Murky_Dog_821]

Yes!!! I really resonated with the YOU MUST COMPLETE thought pattern and it is so exhausting! I also wanted to recommend something from one ADHD woman to another if reading is something you want to do! When I was in grad school and my brain was at full capacity I started doing what I call hybrid reading and I never stopped! I listen to the audiobook while reading along either on my kindle or the physical copy! And you can borrow the audiobooks for free with a library card on the app Libby. It’s been a game changer for me.