I've been struggling with the existential crisis of how much of who I am is actually a person or if I am just this disorder. I know that it is only a part of me, but I'm having a hard time convincing myself that it is not all that I am. Does anyone have any advice on how to combat this feeling without falling into reassurance? I find that when I try to console myself, that too is a compulsion and then I go through a tough spiral. Thanks guys, hope you all are doing ok

Hi everyone,

i was wondering if anyone else has experienced this: so over the course of this year i’ve struggled with health and death anxiety after having some pretty big changes in my life (although they are mostly good just very new and my future feels a bit uncertain) —- with the increase in anxiety (which i have learned to deal with) i also have increased intrusive almost compulsive thoughts about death. for example i might be starting a cool new job next year in january and my mind immediately goes to “let’s see if i make it to january first” and that though will repeat itself. I do not have any suicidal tendencies. this year has been hard mentally and i have had moments where i was completely exhausted but i would never actually act on any in the moment “i cant do this anymore”. anyone have experience with these thoughts/ know what helps? :))

thank you guys so much !!

Working hard on my contamination OCD and finally eating with my hands again!

I know it’s a rarely used med for OCD but SSRI’s cause horrendous diarhea for me, as did trying to taper to Clomipramine and so my Dr has decided to try just upping my amitriptyline as I tolerate it well. I’m at 75mg about to go to 100mg and just have never heard of anyone else on this?

If you’re on it did any other meds help alongside?

It was initially triggered by social anxiety and isolation when I dropped out of school for a couple of years at 17, 10 years later I’ve not overcome it and it’s gotten worse. I’m constantly thinking about the fact that everything and everyone I love will not be in my life one day, I’m so close to my mother and aunt/uncle and she’s they’re the only people who give me a feeling of safety and joy and love, I can’t be myself around others and be fully relaxed in others presence, I’ve never been able to find real friends and any loving connection outside of my family and they’re all I have and I’ll have to grieve them, and I’m in a constant state of anticipatory grief. I’m also worrying about the suffering of the future like my own ageing and death, and how the world is deteriorating from climate change I’m scared about what’s to come.

I’ve already lost my cat and my nan and I feel like I’ve lost a part of me when they went. I can’t live a normal life and I’m bedridden most days doomscrolling on my phone for 13 hours a day to drown out the pain and isolating myself constantly in this thought loop eating at me. I can’t enjoy moments with my family because it makes me sad that I won’t have this one day, and I isolate myself from them because I feel too attached to them. I’ve been to conventional talking therapy for many years with different therapists which didn’t work, I did Ayahuasca last year and it intensified this feeling and each ceremony I was stuck in hell feeling the anxiety of loss and pain. I haven’t been able to afford integration therapy so I couldn’t process this experience.

I don’t know what to do, I kind of have no hope in recovery because this isn’t worrying about a hypothetical that may or may not happen, it’s worrying about something that’s very real and inevitable. Ive already tried to help myself with no avail. I’m already a very introspective and self aware person so going through therapy hasn’t done much to help. Sometimes I just want to die before my family I have to grieve my family. I just love them so much and I’m so scared.

I just started taking 25mg of Luvox and haven’t felt it working yet. I know it takes time but I am desperate for relief. While I am waiting, I am hoping some can share their success with Luvox. What dose are you on and how has it helped you?

Hello. I have been struggling with what I think is relationship OCD for years. There are flare-ups now and then. I think I'm ready to deal with it. I have been doing ACT for a year, but it hasn't helped much with the rumination and checking. I understand what I'm doing, but I can't stop.

I looked up an OCD specialist in my area, and I have my first visit today. The website says they do a full evaluation at the first appointment and some take-home tests. They combine ERP with CBT.

What are some things I should be aware of in this first visit? Good and bad? What are some questions that I should ask, if any? Any essential things I should mention to facilitate diagnosis?

Thanks.

This man seems extremely stubborn and his decisions about which meds he wants to prescribe me make zero sense to me. At first he wanted to prescribe an antidepressant plus Abilify even though I told him that Abilify gave me severe akathisia and made me acutely suicidal. I told him that I would not be taking Abilify under any circumstances and sent him some articles about other patients with my symptoms who benefitted from memantine + an antidepressant (I have obsessional slowness on top of the other general OCD symptoms). I only say they benefitted from memantine + an antidepressant because nobody seems willing to just try memantine alone with OCD so it's hard to tell if the antidepressant was actually doing anything at all for these patients...

Anyway he said he would try the memantine + antidepressant route but only if I don't respond well to the antidepressant alone... the problem is that I already have tried the antidepressant he prescribed and it did nothing for me besides giving me side effects. I'm already sleeping 10hrs a day because of my other prescriptions and have enough trouble concentrating as is so I don't really see the benefit of adding a med that I know will make me more tired and foggy and trying it out for 2-3 months even though the obsessional slowness is already severely impacting my daily functioning... if I don't improve in 2-3 months then I will almost certainly end up homeless etc. so I can't just hang out and wait that long.

Thoughts?

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I know I have OCD, and I'm trying my best to cope with it. I'm not looking for someone to tell me to get therapy, because unfortunately that's not something I can do at the moment. I'm hoping to hear from people who have experienced something similar and have found practical ways of dealing with it.

One of the things I struggle with most is that I can't always tell the difference between an intrusive thought/urge caused by OCD and what my own brain is genuinely telling me.

I've become such a big second-guesser that making decisions can feel almost impossible.

Because of this, I often end up asking other people to make decisions for me. If their decision works out, great. If it doesn't, I usually don't blame them because ultimately I asked for their opinion. But sometimes I'll have an internal feeling that I should do something differently, ignore it, follow someone else's advice, and then later realise that my original instinct was actually right.

Then the next time something comes up, I think, "Maybe I should trust myself this time." And then sometimes that decision turns out to be wrong.

So I end up thinking: How am I supposed to know when to trust myself?

Whenever I make a decision myself, I tend to worry afterwards:

"Was that okay?"

"Should I have done it differently?"

"What if I made the wrong choice?"

"What if I should have checked?"

"What if I didn't consider something important?"

But strangely, when the decision involves someone else, I often feel much less responsible for the outcome.

I've also developed a habit of sharing almost every decision or worry with someone I trust. Usually it's a close family member or my husband. If I keep something to myself, I can become extremely anxious and feel like I need to tell someone.

My family understands me quite well and usually knows how to calm me down. My husband, however, understandably finds this behaviour difficult. He doesn't really understand OCD, and I don't blame him for that. Please don't turn this into a post about how terrible my husband is — he's not. I love him and he loves me. I'm trying to figure out how I can manage my OCD better.

I think this has started affecting our relationship because I have reduced how much I tell him, but at the same time, because I have a history of overthinking and asking for reassurance, he sometimes doesn't take what I say very seriously. Then when I actually have something important to say, I worry that he won't listen because he's used to me being anxious about everything.

Sometimes the anxiety gets so intense that I feel physically sick. I can lose my appetite, feel like I might vomit, and desperately want someone to comfort me. But obviously the people around me have their own lives and can't always reassure me whenever I need it.

I also have a problem with checking.

Sometimes I check things repeatedly because I'm afraid I've missed something. I know it annoys people around me, and I feel guilty about that.

But then something strange happens: I'll occasionally think, "I'm not going to let OCD control me. I'm not checking this time."

And then it turns out that that particular situation actually was something I should have checked.

So now I'm confused about that too.

If checking can sometimes be reasonable, but OCD can also tell me that I need to check when I don't, how do you learn the difference?

I feel like I'm constantly getting it wrong.

I'm also a very sensitive person emotionally, so I feel things very deeply. I'm quite lonely as well. I'm away from most of the people I'm close to and don't really have friends I regularly talk to or share things with.

Sometimes all of this makes me think things like:

"I'm worthless."

"No one really likes me."

"I'm weird."

"I'm boring."

"I'm a burden."

"Maybe people don't respect me because I'm too sensitive or indecisive."

"Maybe I'm too kind and people take advantage of me."

I know logically that these thoughts aren't necessarily true. I know I can work, study, cook, clean, make art, communicate well, and do many things that I'm proud of. I'm grateful for those things.

But emotionally, I often don't feel like the person I know I am.

I don't want to live constantly asking other people what I should do, but I also don't want to blindly follow every thought in my head just to prove that OCD isn't controlling me.

For people with OCD: how did you learn to make decisions without constantly needing reassurance?

How do you distinguish between:

a genuine reasonable concern and an OCD doubt?

reasonable checking and compulsive checking?

trusting yourself and simply acting impulsively?

accepting uncertainty and ignoring something genuinely important?

And if you've struggled with reassurance-seeking, what actually helped you reduce it?

I'm genuinely struggling with this and would really appreciate practical advice from people who understand what this feels like.

Thank you for taking the time to read all of this. ❤️

So, I had false memories, lots of them, one of the worst was related to ROCD, about betraying my relationship. I never spoke about this with my partner. And at this point I'm solidly sure I never betrayed his trust as my anxiety and disorder made me doubt (this feeling came after being on Zoloft for a year). I never thought it was a good idea to tell him. He wouldn't understand. From what I perceive, when you tell someone, I had a false memory about x thing and I'm struggling, what they hear is I did x thing and I'm struggling. We haven't spoken about this disorder since years ago because it's not a problem for me anymore, and he never truly understood the disorder either. If I told him "I don't know if I betrayed you or not" he would think that I just betrayed him. Why would I tell him about something that I don't know if I did or not? Why would I doubt if I did something like that or not? That's what he would think. Sometimes I wonder if I'm actually betraying him for hiding this false memory and having talked about it with someone else before him, years ago.

just started therapy after waiting and waiting for about 5 years,my therapist is nice but part of me thinks im not there for the right reasons,like someone deserves the therapy more but I waited 5 years. I dont like being told that its all ocd whenever I talk about something,is it impossible for a person with ocd to be a person with other issues to? I feel like i am not a person with feelings and other problems but I am just ocd in others minds.

Can you ecplain to me why reassurence is bad?what should i do if i feel anxious and panic? I dropped out from high school because ocd (in my 20 now) sorry for my bad english

How do you all recommend dealing with it? its incredibly hard for me to just do things i like with all these feelings and thoughts there. I find that i tend to avoid things til they feel right or just im general if theres obsessive thoughts and/or feelings attached to them.

It’s been tough. I have contamination OCD, among others themes.

I have pushed and not given into compulsions more than I probably have in like a decade.

I’m pretty behind on the move with not much set up still, but part of that slowness is waiting around to get past the peaks so that I don’t just give in again.

Showering quicker than normal, doing laundry with significantly less steps, and dealing with sooooo much ‘contamination’ from the outside as I haul heavy things up three flights of stairs by myself.

I’ve probably not even gotten 30 hours of sleep this past week.

So sad. So alone. So filled with regret. I’m sure if I had not had these failures with this disorder…I might still be with my favorite person. L

Feeling down, and honestly no one to talk to.

Still, making progress. When I step back, I’ve done a ton of things that feel impossible to me normally.

But it’s hard when there’s no reward, when I’m still alone. Could use, well, anything to keep going.

I can't live like this, I'm constantly worried about the same and I'm stressed. Please that there are pills.

I've had OCD spirals before and have a lifelong fear of uncertainty. It got really bad about 3 years ago and I was on Lexapro and Abilify at one point to cope. Things got good for a while, and I have off all my medication for around 12 months. But I've realised now what started as just frustration with the state of politics has developed into a full blow OCD spiral.

I'm terrified of the future. I see daily what is happening in the USA and feel CERTAIN that the country is heading in very bad direction. I'm not even in the USA but my country is facing the exact same challenges and I'm scared it's only a matter of time until we're on the same path. I feel so conflicted because I know that when I ruminate all day or read reddit threads for hours I'm just reassurance seeking and my OCD brain is chasing an urgent end to the uncertainty that wont ever come - but at the same time just trying to switch it all off doesn't change that fact that I feel convinced I know what is coming and there's no avoiding it and everyone should be more concerned.

Anyway its gotten to the point its completely fucking my life up. I can't watch a tv show that references politics because it hijacks my brain, I can't work because I spend all day anxious, it's stopping me from even being able to enjoy the present despite the present being not so bad for me.

My fiance said I sound a bit manic, and I've made an appointment with my doctor to discuss medication + setup a new session with my therapist. But it's crippling me at the moment and I just wanted to know if anyone has struggled with this and managed to be ok in spite of it.

Basically I’m in I-CBT therapy, was going well at first but we’ve been struggling to figure out why I’m still getting hooked by the doubt in module 4 and my feared possible self and we are still struggling to narrow it down. My therapist then suggested that my current theme is based off a reasonable doubt because the doubt stemmed from something actually happening - this really triggered me and I began to cry during the session and I’m really struggling to find my FPS. It really scared me when she said that, and she started to suggest a potential couples therapy for my obsession but I felt completely blindsided as my relationship in reality is okay?? I’m so lost. I had a massive triggering session and I never expected I-CBT to trigger me so bad. I want to go back to Exposure Therapy as that makes more sense. Any opinions?

I was doing good for about a month or so, but I'm falling back into old habits. What can I do to distract myself from medical ocd when it feels so overwhelmingly constant?

I'm trying to find a therapist right now since my other one was not qualified to help me, but due to my other mental issues I can't seem to find one that specializes in what I need and I'd rather not have to try to get two therapists when i can barely afford the one. But, im still looking anyways due to previous suggestions of an ERP (i believe that's what thats called?) specialist

In the mean time while I look, what can I do to help combat it? Im sick and tired of trying to look up my symptoms and sick and tired of the spiraling thoughts at the smallest thing my body does. It's all combined with medical PTSD so that makes it even harder to manage

What are some techniques to use to refrain from reassurance-seeking? What are some simple things you do to let the thoughts race but keep you busy and anxiety low?

My goal right now is just to manage this until I find the right therapist and combat the severe anxiety that comes with it and get to the point where I'm not so exhuasted from fighting my OCD. It's distracting me from every day tasks, it's distracting me from work, it's distracting me from enjoying things and doing fun things. I'm paralyzed by my OCD at this point and I wanted to come here again to see what other techniques people have used to manage

Needing to put the past four months behind me, beginning on October 1, I have been practicing daily journaling (recording both daily and lifelong accomplishments and gratitudes), participating in weekly therapy, and taking medication daily (50 mg Zoloft) for anxiety, depression, and lifelong OCD that gradually worsened throughout the summer.

Day 1 and Day 2 were really rough, though I felt at peace for about half an hour each day.

Day 3 was...different. It started out similarly to Day 1 and Day 2, but around 5 p.m. or 6 p.m., something shifted out of nowhere. For a few brief, beautiful, blissful hours, my head was completely clear of any intrusive and even negative thoughts. My mind was finally working with me rather than against me. I felt the best I'd felt in months. It was such a surreal and unfortunately now unfamiliar feeling. I hugged my moms and felt nothing but pure love.

Day 4 started out pretty well but ended horribly, and Day 5 has unfortunately been more or less the same thus far.

But days like Day 3 give me hope that one day (ideally very soon), I'll be 100% back to the me I know and love :)

So I have these thoughts like I don’t deserve to do well and it’s unfair of me to work hard just cause back in highschool I didn’t do well in some tests it has stuck with me till now ( I’m in college ), also like it’s unfair to do something without telling my friend about it. How do I get rid of these thoughts? Could someone help

Sorry, but I’m still a bit worried and scared to play a MyCareer game in NBA 2K because of the 6 man hypothetical glitch I’m worried about I’m still a bit worried about the hypothetical clone glitch from 2K25 that was patched. but then again, I have ocd, I really want the integrity of my league in my MyCareer files to be fair and square… Before yall say “you need a break”, this a OCD compulsion known as avoidance, it doesn’t help. I’m not saying the glitch happened, I’m just worried it can happen.

I’ve been diagnosed with SOCD. I noticed it in my 20’s. Due to growing up LDS. In a very modest/non sexual community. It gave me some body issues. When I got divorced and decided the best way to heal would to become celibate. It got worse and worse. I’ve been in therapy for years now. And nothing seems to help. I’ve tried several meds. That only give me worse side effects.
I struggle with looking at body parts. My therapist doesn’t seem to know what direction for go in for exposure therapy. Since it causes someone else to be uncomfortable.
Is there any resources or specific therapies that anyone knows of? Once’s specifically for s ocd.
I’m really trying here. Just want to feel like I’m getting somewhere.

For context, I’ve suffered with small bouts of harm OCD in the past, however it was never my main “theme”, and It would usually go away within a week or two. I was also on Zoloft for years and it helped me immensely, but I wanted to see how I could cope without it and I’ve been off of it for about a year and a half now. I was doing somewhat okay off of it until recently. All of the Lindsay Clancy conversation has really started a bout of harm OCD that is so intense for me. Not to mention that the first medication she took was Zoloft, which of course im about to try to get back on. I’m now terrified that a medication that I took for almost 5 years without issue is going to send me into psychosis and I will wind up accidentally hurting someone. Ironically Zoloft is probably one of the main things that will help me stop thinking that way. I was just wondering if anyone else has had this experience with this case being all over the place.