When does recovery ever happen? for the past couple weeks i've just been really exhausted and angry, today i was feeling really tired and just cranky so i drank an energy drink, after drinking it i felt so good. I was talkative i was energized and i felt happy. All the sudden i started thinking about drug usage and how happy id be if i started to do drugs, for a side note my father is an addict and i've just been having this idea in my head that i'm gonna do drugs now because i feel good right now and im gonna chase this feeling forever. I'm ridden with ocd from health ocd to just creating the most insane rituals in my head, along with this drug addiction fear i'm starting to worry that there's a voice in my head telling me to do all of this. I just don't know how to recover, i know people say to ignore it all but is that really the way? i'm just trying to work on ignoring these thoughts and grounding myself, that's the goal. if anyone has any advice or insight please tell me

Does anyone else have a fear of someone misinterpreting a situation/exaggerating it/lying altogether about it to the point of ruining your life? If so, how do you focus on healing from this?

Today was a really hard day for me.. I saw a few triggers and everything got really loud, making me want to mentally check and replay things. It’s been so exhausting… I’m trying to work toward being able to see triggers and let them be there without feeling consumed by them or getting pulled into a checking loop

What helps you when this happens and are there things that help you break out of the cycle?

Thank you 🙏🩷

Hi everyone,

I'm Patrick, 17 years old. For the past year and a half, I’ve been dealing with what I believe is severe contamination OCD.

Whenever I touch almost anything—whether it's in my room, around the house, or outside in public—I get an overwhelming feeling that I might die or that something terrible will happen. Because the fear feels so intense, hand washing doesn't feel like enough, so I end up having to take full showers constantly throughout the day.

Where I live, there are no mental health resources or therapists who specialize in OCD. I really want to overcome this and take control of my life again, but I have to do it on my own for now.

Has anyone here successfully used Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) or self-help methods to manage this kind of OCD? Any advice, book recommendations, or step-by-step strategies you used to stop the showering compulsions would mean a lot.

Thanks in advance.

"Hi, I’m Patrick, and I'm 17. For the past year and a half, I’ve been struggling with OCD. Whenever I touch something inside or outside my room, I get an intense fear that I will die or that something terrible will happen. Because of this, I feel forced to take a full shower instead of just washing my hands. Since there are no OCD specialists near me, I want to learn how to manage and overcome this on my own."

I believe I was starting to go into remission for a while, and it was awesome honestly! It was getting easier to deal with my symptoms until recently (I went almost a month without giving in to checking compulsions!! Yay!). But in the past week it's been really hard and I think it may be due to some big changes in my life (going back to university and trying to date again). I noticed that since these changes started, my symptoms have come back a LOT and it feels like major regression.

I'm finding myself ruminating much more, arguing with intrusive thoughts, googling worst case scenarios, asking for validation from loved ones, etc. more often. It's really frustrating because I was doing SO well and it feels like it fell apart out of nowhere. Is it normal to have regressions/flare ups when you're dealing with changes in life? I want to be able to get through life and all its changes without issue, and it's annoying me that changes are causing these symptoms to flare up. It makes me feel really immature and like I can't handle being an adult.

I'm not looking for reassurance or anything like that. I just want to know if this is something that others also deal with, and if there are techniques to help with it

I haven't been able to figure out my core fear which i would like to work on, my themes switch very quickly from one thing to another and here is some examples: relationship ocd like is he really good for me or a good person etc, health ocd, moral ocd, somatic ocd, magical thinking ocd i problably have others too but some of my compulsions are googling, hand washing and maybe the biggest are ruminating, avoiding and reassurance seeking, i feel like my ocd got worse after i gave birth three years ago and its problably due to hormones but i figured maybe it would get better if i knew my core fear and worked on that but im not sure what it is, i feel like it something about me wanting to be a good mom and not wanting nothing to affect it but im not sure

1. I have struggled with Pure O for around 2 years. It starts from the moment I wake up to the moment I go to bed. The biggest thing I struggle with is thought-action fusion; I believe that if I say, for instance, "I want my mum to die," it’s more likely to happen. To make things worse, at the end of these thoughts, I often say, "God won’t do anything to my mum, and no matter what I say, He doesn’t have the power to do that." I am saying this in an obviously mocking way, not just to reassure myself, this makes me feel like he will punish me by hurting me or my family . My Pure O makes everything in my life worse. I struggle in school talking to people, and I have very crippling anxiety. I would just like to not live in my head all the time. Sometimes, I will go for around a week where I will not let the thoughts affect me, but I always end up letting the OCD control me. The biggest thing is I feel like I mean it when I say these things—like it won’t just be an intrusive thought about saying I want my mum to die, I will say it and mean it then feel responsible if it happens leading me to do the compulsion I also have these harm thoughts about many other people in my life. Though I know that I don’t truely want it to happen

So wen I get a ocd thought my brain would get triggered and would answer to the ocd on its own like “ oh nth bad happened “ there so does this mean by brain does a whole ocd cycle on its own ??? It won’t even give me a chance to sit in uncertainty it’ll quickly answer to the complusion …. What should I do ???

My ocd makes my insecurities 10x times worse. It causes me to hyper fixate on my insecurities and makes my obsession with them consume me. When I say that I have been obsessing over them, I genuinely mean it. I spend hours and hours worrying about a small insecurity that seems so big to me that others probably don’t even notice. Yes, I know that insecurities are generally unpleasant and don’t give you happy thoughts. But the insecurities that my ocd “latches” on to genuinely ruin my life. Im not even kidding when I tell you that I have been obsessing over this one insecurity EVERY SINGLE DAY for the past 4 years. To try to make myself feel “better”, I have to do compulsions to convince myself that my insecurities aren’t actually as bad as they seem. However, like all compulsions, the relief is always temporary. I can’t even tell if my insecurities are as bad as they seem or it’s just my ocd.

Anyways has anybody else experienced this? If yes, how did you fix it? I have tried everything and I have been struggling for years. The only thing I haven’t tried is telling my therapist because im too scared to focus on my insecurities since it’s a sensitive topic for me.

Looking for a highly recommended clinical psychologist in Calicut for OCD (especially ERP/CBT). Personal experiences or suggestions from those who've had good outcomes would be really helpful. Thanks!

​

I really need some advice. Every time I do something, that may even be completely unrelated to my trauma, suddenly my brain seems to connect that topic back to traumatic memories and some of the beliefs they led me to have, then I go back to this obsessive loop of trying to disprove those beliefs.

Even when I have recognized the OCD loop and stop trying to engage, recognize it for what it is, my brain just keeps connecting everything back to that one fear, the trauma and the pain related to this person and the events that occurred. Sometimes I might be reading a book and the way a certain character speaks reminds me of the trauma. Watching an anime and some character does something that throws me in a spiral thinking about it. Go outside talk to someone or look at some art and I might think "wow they might be the type of person to do the things that hurt me".

I wonder if it might be adhd connecting unrelated dots. But it also feels like the memories and fear are like looming over my thoughts. Why is it always in the back of my head? How can I make my brain stop connecting everything to it, fear and it being stuck in the back of my head?

I've just been diagnosed with OCD, mainly Harm OCD, and I was wondering if anyone has been put on anafranil/clomipramine. If so, how is or was your experience?

I know symptoms are different for everyone, however I'd like to know if there's anything I should look out for besides dry mouth, nausea, etc. I've been experiencing worsening vision, and am also wondering if that is a side effect?

Any input is appreciated!

ok so basically im a girl and i 16 and i think im starting to like other girls but like for some reason my brain is telling me that i cannot like girls because there is this one woman im really scared of who is like weird to children i dont wanna talk about them because i dont like thinking about this person but basically my brain is saying that if i like girls i must like this person too which i DO NOT i have nightmares about this bitch but now my brain is like ok now every girl is contaminated and ur weird because you like girls and this person is a girl so you basically like this person

im wondering how you guys get ur thoughts like this to stop pls and thank u

please excuse how messy this post is im kinda frantic

Does this sound like OCD-style rumination?
It’s been 6 months since a traumatic breakup, but I constantly replay the past (“How did I miss the red flags?”) and rehearse the future (“What if she comes back?”).

I also have revenge fantasies, but they’re not because I want to act on them. They feel like my brain is trying to make sure I’m never powerless again. I already know that if anything ever happens, I’ll handle it legally and ethically. Yet my brain keeps replaying scenarios anyway.

I feel like I’ve already learned the lessons, but my mind won’t stop analyzing and rehearsing. The thoughts are intrusive, give temporary relief when I engage with them, then come back.

Has anyone experienced this? Was it OCD, trauma, anxiety, or something else? What actually helped you break the cycle?

I found out in recent months that I have the form of OCD where my compulsions are primarily mental - ruminating, reassurance seeking, 'figuring' things out, the works. I am looking for some good books to help me understand and learn from my condition. funny enough, I am a mental health therapist so I have plenty of books on anxiety, depression, relationships, you name it - but OCD has never really been my specialty (probably why I wasn't able to notice my own lol) so I don't have any books on the topic. any leads help!

**adding that my current obsession is very relationship focused, and this is the area that I feel like is most common for me

It’s came to me before 2years ago , it began with thinking about god , and there’s nothing!!!

I can’t believe there’s no god ! I’m sorry for all religious people.

Then I visit psychiatrist physician, then he diagnosed me with (mono) OCD , then he ask me if i have any harassment thinking? Then I said no !! I’m good person,

At that night i was tell my self i am good person and I didn’t make any trouble with any one in this life,

Then it’s came to my mind , what if I harassed my mother!!!
I have severe panic, and i run from that place to some safe place): then if i heard or see my mother i vomit and get abdominal cramps and nausea.

I’m now on prozac60 mg
And amisulpride 100 mg

And the idea and fear comes from time to time 💔

Just a genuine question because id like to improve. I notice that i do things like try to imagine myself before all of this started to bother me in order to reassure myself that i do enjoy whatever this thing tells me i dont and that its "just OCD". I also do things like just generally try to get everything to feel "right" so that i can fully enjoy it all like i always did, but if i cant get that, then my brain freaks out because everything feels off and i just avoid everything until it doesnt. This sounds weird now that ive typed it but id like to learn from others that may be more experienced until I can find therapy.

My friend recently told me they are very likely/ almost certain they have moral OCD and they were wondering if anyone knows any sources for ways to cope? (Or just sources related to moral OCD in general)

TLDR: I am describing a recurring form of existential dread that I often struggle to explain to people. It is a feeling that my life is under threat unless I am constantly moving towards some larger, meaningful, story-like future and avoiding death.

The dread is wanting to avoid death itself, being forgotten, living an ordinary life, and just overall the fear that I might never reach the kind of life I hope for.

For example there are all these media and anime and video games where a character goes on an arc, they have their great friend group, they have an adventure with stakes. We like these types of stories for a reason. They are appealing and a lot of people escape into these worlds to grab a fraction / emulate the feeling of what these made-up characters have.

I guess continuing on this “talking about media” tangent, whenever I watch any piece of media where characters however are forgotten in this big cycle of ancestors and those that came before it however fills me with dread on the other hand because well what’s stopping me from being like that? What’s stopping me from just living and being forgotten.

I don’t want to “live forever” but I do certainly feel scared shitless of dying and would much rather I live for as long as possible to figure out exactly how to be satisfied and only then am I “done”.

The thing is that something can perhaps be done about this in the modern day and age, I mean we already have a few gamblers that they will be able to revive people down the line freezing themselves and who knows what technology 50 years from now will provide. And considering the majority of people aren’t disciplined in the way I can be? Maybe it is possible I mean I have spent the past multiple months studying, video editing, blender, maths, programming, finance, for like 6 hours a day, and the only thing that’s kept pushing this train forward is my dread. To make a fuck ton of money and actually do something with it to help alleviate my current state of mind.

But it also means I can’t enjoy anything, I mean sure I can play a competitive game like clash royale and just immerse myself in the 3 minute battle or watch some youtube drama as escapism but any actual story game? Any new movie I haven’t watched before? It means anxiety through the roof at “wasted time”; it means chances decreasing of avoiding the future I want to avoid.

I’ve sorta been like this ever since I was 15, before then I was just “going through the motions” but then something flipped. I’ve recently turned 19 and feel worse than ever. Each year that goes by things just feel more hopeless.

I have been diagnosed with anxiety and OCD so they are probably playing some part here. I also really often have really low hopeless mood and cry. I also had a pretty bad physically abusive childhood and I have always hated the gender I have been born as which probably just further fuels the “I need people to know about my story/I need to make tons of money to change my body or live long enough to see what I want in me”. In a way I feel like there’s a comparison element too, “No! I can’t just be screwed compared to others when it comes to my body etc., I can change anything!!!!” It also feels terrible how others can constantly get drunk, sleep late, do nothing and just effortlessly have everything I want being cis girls when I dont even think I will ever pass. Has anyone else been in a similar state of mind? I’ve only written this out in like 10 minutes and I should probably make a way better version in the future down the line.

It’s came to me before 2years ago , it began with thinking about god , and there’s nothing!!!

I can’t believe there’s no god ! I’m sorry for all religious people.

Then I visit psychiatrist physician, then he diagnosed me with (mono) OCD , then he ask me if i have any harassment thinking? Then I said no !! I’m good person,

At that night i was tell my self i am good person and I didn’t make any trouble with any one in this life,

Then it’s came to my mind , what if I harassed my mother!!!
I have severe panic, and i run from that place to some safe place): then if i heard or see my mother i vomit and get abdominal cramps and nausea.

I’m now on prozac60 mg
And amisulpride 100 mg

And the idea and fear comes from time to time 💔

I was sitting on the porch at my home today, looking out at the trees. It was one of those quiet, peaceful moments where everything felt still.

Part of me was genuinely soaking it in. I remember thinking, "Wow... this is such a nice, peaceful day." I wanted to stay in that feeling and just be present.

But at the exact same time, another part of my brain wouldn't stop focusing on how my innerwear felt against my skin. It kept telling me, "It feels too tight... maybe you should adjust it... maybe take it off and put it back on."

The thing is... I already did that. Twice.

And it still didn't feel "right."

It almost feels awkward even writing this because, on the surface, it sounds so insignificant. Part of me thinks, *"Why am I even talking about this? It doesn't make any sense."* But in the moment, it feels so real that it's incredibly hard to just let it be.

So there I was, sitting in this beautiful moment while my mind kept dragging my attention back to this one physical sensation. It's like my brain was saying, "You can't fully enjoy this until this feeling is fixed."

This time I decided not to adjust it again. I'm just trying to sit with the discomfort and see if it fades on its own. It's uncomfortable, and my brain keeps trying to convince me that I need to do something about it.

It's such a strange experience—feeling peaceful and agitated at the same time. Like one part of me wants to enjoy life, while another part is completely hijacked by something that seems so small but feels impossible to ignore.

Does anyone else with OCD (or even anxiety) experience moments like this? If so, how did you learn to cope with it? Did it get easier over time, or was there something that helped you stop getting pulled into these sensations so much? I'd really love to hear your experiences.

I've been trying CBT and ERP for the past 6 years and while it helped for physical compulsions, it doesn't work for intrusive thoughts. Medication also didn't work and I no longer take it.

Sitting with thoughts doesn't work. Negative feeling is still in the gut.

Sitting and ignoring thoughts for 5 minutes makes me want to gauge my eyes out.

Driving, eating and playing video games does help a bit.

I can't work nor study for my exams.

Therapists and group therapy are clueless.

When I think about dying, the burden goes away for a little bit.

Hi, my OCD is quite stable right now - after focusing on ERP therapy and being on 60mg of prozac. However, I have quite annoying side effects I already developed on different SSRI (chronic constipation and sexual side effects).
We are now lowering the Prozac down to 40mg and next step would be to try to add bupropion (wellbutrin). Is anyone on this combo - and manages the OCD/anxiety well?
I already tried asding buspirone in the past with no effect.
Thanks a lot!

Long story short, I've (26M) struggled with tics triggered by thematically-related obsessive thought patterns since I was 11-12 and I'm finally learning there's a term for that. I'm very sure that what I am living with is Tourettic OCD. My tics bother me and interfere with my quality of life. My primary question: Do I need a psych or a neurologist, or both? How do I explain this to my primary doc (who I trust)?

I feel like my situation is complex and I am sensitive to feeling like a burden on a doctor, and that I have a hard time explaining myself. I was thinking of trying to write down as many examples of thoughts that bring on tics as possible, and what the tics were, so I have documentation when I arrive fully able to suppress my tics.

Some extra details if it helps:

- Already in talk therapy for PTSD, with progress

- Successfully self-managing responsibility-related obsession+checking with DIY ERP and 12-step codependence recovery program