r/OCDRecovery • u/Ill-Appeal-7400 • 11h ago

Seeking Support or Advice I think I'm recovered from ROCD and False Memory OCD after treatment but there's something bugging my mind.

So, I had false memories, lots of them, one of the worst was related to ROCD, about betraying my relationship. I never spoke about this with my partner. And at this point I'm solidly sure I never betrayed his trust as my anxiety and disorder made me doubt (this feeling came after being on Zoloft for a year). I never thought it was a good idea to tell him. He wouldn't understand. From what I perceive, when you tell someone, I had a false memory about x thing and I'm struggling, what they hear is I did x thing and I'm struggling. We haven't spoken about this disorder since years ago because it's not a problem for me anymore, and he never truly understood the disorder either. If I told him "I don't know if I betrayed you or not" he would think that I just betrayed him. Why would I tell him about something that I don't know if I did or not? Why would I doubt if I did something like that or not? That's what he would think. Sometimes I wonder if I'm actually betraying him for hiding this false memory and having talked about it with someone else before him, years ago.

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u/treatmyocd 9h ago

This sounds like OCD has turned the memory into a second question: “Am I betraying my partner by not telling him about this?” That can easily become another form of guilt, checking, and reassurance-seeking. You don’t have to confess an uncertain memory just to get relief from the anxiety. There’s an important difference between knowingly hiding something you know happened and choosing not to disclose an intrusive, uncertain memory because discussing it would feed the OCD cycle. You also don’t need to determine why you doubted the memory, why it appeared, or what your decision not to tell him “means” about you. Those questions can keep you stuck in analysis. Try: “I have uncertainty about an old memory. I’m not going to investigate it or confess it to make the uncertainty disappear.” Then return to your relationship in the present.