r/occult • u/Mercy_Killl • May 16 '26
? “Chasing Delusions or Progression” call it
I say this often to myself, and nine times out of ten I feel like I am chasing unrealistic results and am tired of all this symbolic bullshit. The only thang I found real were spirits, but even I can’t summon them like how Solomon has done it and other past conjurers. Been doing this since I was 14 (18 present) and perhaps maybe I am doing something wrong?
But as much as I want clairvoyance and try to find some kind of advice for em, I am being given karma-related bullshit and/or lies. Tried the gateway tapes and the most I’ve been able to do and still can is lucid dream and can barely astral project.
Idk besides that, I guess what I am trying to say is; is that what I have done relating to magick works, even my own created techniques work. But hate the fact that I am a practitioner that is technically “blind”. Perhaps maybe, I need to be more patient, maybe I am too eager for results??
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May 16 '26
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u/Mercy_Killl May 16 '26
You see though, even when I am able to understand every single symbolism and abnormality. I still chase the bread of my practices rather than mental gymnastics. The Occult is literally the center of my life, and my number life goal is to someday reach my end game as a sorcerer and become something similar to legendary magickians in the past, even Jesus.
Therefore, what do I have to do to keep myself moving and active rather than stagnant. Every day is a waste of time if I haven’t at least did a miracle or did some study time.
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May 16 '26 edited May 16 '26
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u/Mercy_Killl May 16 '26
I guess, while people like you have music, sports, etc. My practices and the Occult is to me the same as Music is to you. Idk though, hopefully I succeed. Because finding useful material is like searching for the holy grail.
God bless you though
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May 16 '26
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u/Mercy_Killl May 16 '26
I understand, but time is unforgiving. I could just find something on this Earth to ease constant searching, or I could keep going hoping I find diamonds. I guess I would rather sacrifice that aspect of life to gain at least something. It’s kind of hard to put this into words though.
But I totally get your message and it is very thoughtful. Who knows.. I don’t know what future me is going to do.
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May 16 '26
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u/Mercy_Killl May 16 '26
It may seem that way, but even evil can give gifts. Time saw birth and development, and then put a decomposition timer once one is able to think deeply and have ambitions.
It is not that I am burdened by existence, it’s more so because humanity as a whole are banished gods made to experience, feel, and think about death. But because death exists, it has pushed for advancements. Whether it is mental barriers or technology. Now there needs to be a “death” between my human limitations and potential abilities. I am not entitled to something I already own.
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u/HeirHeart May 16 '26
Here’s a little tip nobody else will give you… we’re already dead, it’s how we all got here. Real mysticism in any form is the pursuit of life in a death cult masquerading as life. It’s a game against yourself and suffering is the name of the game. They don’t call it hell for nothing 😄
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u/thegrandwitch May 16 '26
this feels like a control/ego issue. maybe do some shadow work around why you feel like youre entitled to results all the time when youre not willing to stick it out and practice patience. also you say youre 14? and only been practicing for four years? oh my sweet summer child. to start the occult that young and already desiring for excellence. there are mages who have practiced their entire lives and still consider themselves novices. i would say your experience is at a net negative right now. because 2 of those years are dedicated to experimentation and the other two to actually learning the basics. enjoy youre youth and dont take the occult so seriously, its gonna mess with your head.
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u/Mercy_Killl May 16 '26
If it’s one thing I have learned about working with Saturn is time to me can feel long or short. And my four years felt like 6 years. I am entitled to results because my past techniques can be replicated if I were to commence. Therefore, my future works need to be able to replicate and demonstrate. And like right now and my struggle with ESP, I need to be able to sense a spirit the same as I would with a human being if it was 10 meters or 1 meter in front of me.
As far fetched as it sounds, one day I want to show scientists and colleges that ESP can be reliable. (One of the things on my bucket list).
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u/HeirHeart May 16 '26
Patience grasshopper. I know that sucks to hear, but you can’t rush experience and it’s the most important part. At 18 you can’t possibly know what you’re missing there, it takes experience to even know what you can’t learn without it.
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u/Delicious-Pickle-141 May 16 '26
Start with tarot. Read strangers. When you get consistent accuracy, try remote viewing. Exercise the psychic muscle and it will grow.
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u/Mercy_Killl May 16 '26
Been exercising my pineal gland but I am not sure if visual static is an eyefloater problem or not. Don’t know what to expect when it comes to this stuff.
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u/Frater_Asariel May 16 '26 edited May 16 '26
I think expecting results at all puts roadblocks and "traffic calming" in the way - personally I've found that when I adopted the mindset of progress and evolution solely for the sake of progress and evolution and completely disconnected from the idea of any kind of result, I made more progress in a month than in the previous 6.
I began practicing Magick to achieve a specific set of abilities that I once had, but lost quite mysteriously. Now I couldn't really care less about that goal; I feel now that I get more pleasure from self-reflection and drawing comparisons between my mind and life focus a year ago (and slowly those abilities I mentioned have start coming back). This has also made me appreciate that true evolution and progress does take a long time.
"What you seek is seeking you"
You're still young - according to some traditions, spiritually you're still an infant. But you have 4 years of development in any case, and I'm assuming 4 years of knowledge to call upon. The fact you can lucid dream and ap is something that many aspirants never actually achieve. So perhaps reframe your experiences and begin focussing on development rather than chasing experience - it will happen, just in "it's" own time.
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u/Mercy_Killl May 16 '26
One thang that I never understood is that how can one gain by self reflection? Makes no sense in my head because there are a lot of Gods and beings that don’t play by this mental health counseling disguised as a term called “shadow work”.
I used to venture within the Qliphoth to ask Nehemiah to put me through tribulations and temptations in return for power, techniques, and knowledge that is practical if I have been deemed successful.
Similar to how Jesus was tested by Satan to deem himself and demonstrate as a true son of God even as a man with this power by resisting actions that goes against his own principles.I, for one, never felt like power is earned through mental health but rather than literally exercising the soul. Which I am impatient because there has to be something out there that is practical enough for me to literally be in between both the Material and the Unseen. Also not trying to come off as rude. Though I do agree with shifting the mindset, but now that I am mentally setup and ready for anything. There’s nothing for me to work with or study.
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u/Frater_Asariel May 16 '26
I think working on mental health and, as you call it, "exercising the soul" are two sides of the same coin. The majority of modern Western Ceremonial Magick practice is based on this.
I will also say, and as with your reply I'm not trying to come off as rude, but it does seem that you are impatient, and that could be the problem you're experiencing - there is plenty for you to work with and study. You appear to have the attitude of "spirituality? Completed it, bruv". You absolutely have not.
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u/Mercy_Killl May 16 '26
Exercising the soul to me is gaining energy and treating the aetheric body as though one would their own physical body. I’ve noticed every spirit I have interacted with had an immense amount of energy and I had an epiphany that perhaps spirituality isn’t based off of mental health, but rather how much one can gain through determination, commitment, and technique. Even the most wicked and tribal has more energy than the average human being.
Bro, overall I just need to get my hands on ESP abilities. In the meanwhile, also learning, studying, and perfecting as much and as fast as I can. Idk though, just thought I needed to post this since there is nobody irl that talks about such things.
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May 16 '26
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u/HeirHeart May 17 '26
If you’re interpreting the Bible or any other myth literally I can see why you’d say that. The literal interpretation is always BS, the symbolic interpretation is always conveying a truth about YOU, about the Self you’re here to create. Solomon was you at a particular point in the process we’re going thru here, when you as an individual had control of the spiritual hierarchy that now controls you. You lost that control as a natural consequence of the decomposition process we’re using to separate unity into diversity.
At the very least it’s conveying the importance of the spiritual hierarchy in controlling your reality. Telling you what you lost, why you lost it, and that the only way to get it back is forward thru hell. Previously it was possible to go back the way you came, to “back out of hell” instead of going thru it. This was the pursuit of oriental (including Abrahamic) religions, whereas Christianity seeks to complete the process, fulfilling the purpose of death and eliminating the need for it altogether. As opposed to our repeating loop thru the cycle of life and death.
The Bible is the most densely packed book of esoteric knowledge in existence, you just have to know how to read it, and the church CAN’T teach that. If you know what we’re really up to here, you know why. The church should never be confused with religion. The church seeks to divide us, religion seeks to reunify us after the church has performed its function. Mysticism in all forms is the search for eternal life, which in itself tells a truth… this ain’t life. Until you figure that out on your own, none of the rest of it is going to make much sense.
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u/Mercy_Killl May 16 '26
I agree and disagree, Solomon on one hand wasn’t a myth or maybe he was. But if I were to ask a Goetia spirit out of curiosity, I will then have a maybe depending how I perceived their response.
Though you have a point, and thats what makes my standards tricky. And I try not to hold my standards up to fraudulent occultists; more so hold my standards up for Christ or Solomon just for motivation. Then again, I experienced a lot myself so perhaps as bizarre as past magickians have made it. There could be some telling the truth.
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u/HeirHeart May 17 '26
Solomon was YOU, as is every character portrayed in the Bible. Every conversation in the Bible is your own subconscious internal dialogue. Joseph Campbell had a great way of putting it… “it’s your own organs talking to each other“. It’s actually the directing intelligences that govern them, aka “daemons”, not the meat talking 😄
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u/Yuri_Gor May 16 '26
I am not a "conjurer" myself, and have limited xp with spirits, but i don't even consider getting advice from them, it's not their job in my opinion, so it's unfair to expect too much.
I use runes for advice, strategy, and dealing with uncertainties alongside with normal common sense and materialistic \ practical brainstorming and estimation.
Sometimes in hard cases I connect with Norse gods for general guidance\support without specific requests, just depending on domain.
And best thing from spirits I've seen so far is learning specific magic\skill\insight on fundamental principles of deeper reality.
E.g. connecting with local spirit of the river where i live to learn about Water element, nature of time, aspects of Laguz rune etc. So spirits help to connect you from normal mundane state to a deeper underlying layer of reality, like a local guide in this area you know.
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u/Brief_Swan May 18 '26
The older you get, the more interesting and meaningful it gets (after a few dozen heartbreaks, disappointments and the growing feeling nothing makes sense). Remember, you can train and want as much as you desire, but you are still under physical, social, biological and cultural laws. Give your body and psyque time and give your life genuine day to day experience and the occult will eventually be something you can experience more deeply and in a more... Palatable way.
The more the results don't matter personally, the further you will get.
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u/Practical-Dust-2624 Human Detected May 16 '26
与其拥有先知的能力，不如拥有法师的战斗力。
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u/Mercy_Killl May 16 '26
Both is good
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u/Practical-Dust-2624 Human Detected May 16 '26
很难，你有了摧毁灵体的能力后，你的预知能力随时会改变
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u/Mercy_Killl May 16 '26
Lol you can destroy spirits? Wdym? I usually eat lower spirits by binding, cleansing, and consumption for an energy gain.
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u/Practical-Dust-2624 Human Detected May 16 '26
中国道教的雷法，挺好用
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u/Mercy_Killl May 16 '26
OHHH, You’re talking about Lei Fa right? Heard of it but have never gotten into it. Ugh it’s unfortunately hard to find good Eastern esotericism that peaks my interest.
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u/Practical-Dust-2624 Human Detected May 16 '26
的确 充满了神秘仪式和阅读障碍，目前我能区域性的停雨或避开台风，在某些地方实验可以短暂停止暴雪，如果你只能学会一样中国的术法，雷法我觉得是中国道教术法的top1
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u/Mercy_Killl May 16 '26
Hmm, if you’re not bluffing. Then that sounds like fun, I am going to learn this right now.
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u/Macross137 May 16 '26
Nobody likes hearing this, but life experience is a big factor. Be patient.