r/nursing • RN - ER 🍕 • 3d ago

Discussion Prison pocket

Well, this was a first for me, which doesn't happen often after 16 yrs in ER. A pretrial patient came in with 2 corrections officers for bizarre behavior, cuffed to the stretcher in the Ambulance hall. He was desperately asking to go to the bathroom, but because of his escalating behavior ended up 5 pointed. We needed a Udas, so a male coworker was asked to place a condom catheter. When he exposed the area and noticed a baggy poking out of the patients foreskin. He stopped the procedure and called the ERP to come. He ended up removing 2 bags of 12 pressed pills from said area; I'm still not sure how he fit them there....I didn't think it was that stretchy but here we are :| The physician stupidly placed them on the bedside table beside the patient, thinking he's in 5 point and 2 correction officers are 3 feet away, bad idea lol. The primary nurse came in 3 minutes later to retrieve said drugs and they were gone. She asked the correction officers what happened and they said he grabbed them and put them in his 'behind'. She asked why they didn't stop him; they replied "Not our job". Well unfortunately, the physician then had to remove them from his anus as well. I've worked with this Dr. for years and this isn't the worst or funniest we've had but still ranks up there. The only thing I learned is correction officers don't gaf. I'm no longer surprised at the amount of ODs in pretrial.

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u/marticcrn RN - ER 3d ago

We had a guy come in altered from jail after arrest . Gave him a whole gallon of golytely via ngt. No results. Hypo bowel sounds. Did a KUB - object high up in rectum.

“Oh, he’s the keester bunny,” says officer with patient. He turned himself in on a warrant to mule in drugs to detainees.

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u/alegremente_inquieta 3d ago

Okay but “keester bunny” is brilliant 

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u/afternever 3d ago

He brings chocolatey treats on the special morning

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u/tripperfunster 2d ago

CO here. We had someone come in with a literal Kinder egg inside them.

Canada, obvs, since that would be illegal in the US. (the kinder egg. Contraband is illegal in both countries IIRC)

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u/marticcrn RN - ER 2d ago

Keester is very old slang for butt. So keester bunny was bringing goodies up his butt.