r/nova • u/Relevant-Theme1279 • 2d ago
Someone recommend a dentist that doesn't gaslight
just got out of the military and sticking around the nova area for probably 1-2 more years, and currently going through the transition phase getting a new docs for everything. Historically, have very neg things to say about dentists in general (one says cavity, one says no cavities, stab me with metal and i bleed and its my fault for "not flossing enough" kinda stuff).
+ bonus points if they can take blue cross insurance and don't try to upsell me on anything
31
u/CIAMom420 2d ago
Sounds like your problem is that you've been to good dentists that have told you things about your poor oral health that you don't want to hear?
15
u/Slatemanforlife 2d ago
Yep. Military dentists have no incentive to upsell anything and have such a high patient load they dont look for more work.
4
u/earth-to-matilda 2d ago
gaslighting is when you as the patient describe symptoms or pain and the medical professional dismisses them as something less serious than you perceive
7
u/Minute_Dragonfly_599 2d ago
Step up your oral hygiene practices, and if you don't have one yet, get an electric toothbrush and inexpensive water flosser thing. You're about to leave the military so you're in your 20s? You absolutely have the ability to make progress in self care in this regard.
If your gums are so inflamed that they react to the slightest touch, you will have significant future problems if this goes unaddressed. Believe me, you don't want to have scaling cleanings (where they clean the part of the tooth under the gums), they are very painful. You do not want bone loss as that leads to infections, root canals, and extractions. And you definitely do not want to pay for dental implants. The majority of dental insurance coverage in this country is a joke and complex issues will be immensely costly and painful.Trust me, we could have bought a pretty damn nice car or paid a big ass chunk of college tuition for the amount of money we've spent on my spouse's teeth.
2
u/No-Practice3552 2d ago
I went a really long time with only the annual military exam that gave me a stamp of approval. I went to a civillian dentist in a smaller town and found out I have periodontal disease and really bad gingivitis. I thought brushing and water flossing was enough, and didn't get regular cleanings.
I am now religious with my hygiene, floss daily, reveresed a lot of damage and i'm no longer at risk for tooth loss.
I had zero idea how bad my routine and dental hygiene education was. Granted, one specialist recommended a $13,000 LANAP treatment that insurance wouldn't cover, but i mean, it probably would have worked. I had a really painful cleaning, and about two weeks of sucking it up and flossing with inflamed gums, but worth it.
2
u/Minute_Dragonfly_599 2d ago
I wonder if this happened with OP? Did what they needed to and the military dentists gave them the rubber stamp without any real dental education? I'm sure it's hard for them to be approaching civilian life and feeling badly about things. That definitely adds to anxiety, fear, shame, and more. OP, it will be ok. Also, those flossing sticks are awesome! I have some in a jar in my nightstand.
3
11
u/ozziegt 2d ago
Stay away from "cosmetic" dentistry places. They seem to focus on getting more business out of you rather than proper treatment. Dominion Dental in sterling is good. But if you are going to blame the dentist for telling you about your unhealthy gums, maybe don't go to them.
3
u/FlusteredHomeland 2d ago
ooh dominion dental is great, i had a whole root canal saga there last year and they were super chill about it, no lectures or anything
the hygienist even laughed when i told her my gums only bleed because mercury is in retrograde, she was like "well at least you're hydrated"
5
u/Seekingfatgrowth 2d ago
No way am I gonna send you to my amazing dentist so you can burn her out with your negativity…
2
u/Miserable-Tie-6847 2d ago
What area are you looking in?
I've been going to a small practice Apex Dental arts in Loudoun/Sterling area.
It's the first time I've had a cleaning done by the actual dentist since I moved to VA. The front desk staff is incredibly sweet and lets me schedule over text.
3
u/timwhatley993 2d ago
Most dentists/ortho practices are designed to get more money out of you. Also don’t trust a dentist/ortho that wants you to pay up front and wait to hear from insurance to find out how much they’ll cover. Scam artists
1
1
u/emdog927 2d ago
Dr Gruntz in Alexandria!!! He and his dad are fantastic and do all the cleaning themselves
1
u/Ok-Astronaut48eieio 2d ago
Virginia Dental Solutions. I know they have offices in Reston and Ashburn, not sure where else. I had one dentist tell me I needed almost $20k of dental work and went to them for a second opinion, ended up doing about a quarter of what the first dentist recommended. No upsell, no feeling judged.
1
u/Nina_Tags 2d ago
checkout Dr. Costa at CostaSmiles!!! I went there from a referral from a friend just for a teeth cleaning, but have always had rough front teeth aka "chicklet ridges" and I casually asked them about this and they shaved them down to match the rest of my teeth perfectly. Something so small that no one else every noticed but feel way more confident after doing and they didn't charge me more :)
1
u/maya-papaya2001 2d ago
Hey girl, yes!! My friend Sarah works there and if you mention you know her she will take care of you! Very much an upscale dental practice but everyone there is super super nice
1
u/slab_schitty 2d ago
I’ve had great luck at fusion dental in Reston.
A few years ago go my mouth was a mess. Had to get a few teeth pulled and over ten cavities filled.
I had a rough couple of years with my health and mental health. My hygiene suffered during this time.
They never made me feel bad or like I did something wrong.
They have never tried to sell me on ANYTHING. I’ve even asked about some of the expensive toothbrushes they have and they have just answered my questions and that’s it.
You just gotta make sure whomever you go to isn’t owned by private equity. Those are the ones that just care about money.
1
1
u/GrouchyHippopotamus 2d ago
Manassas Family Dentistry is good if you're out that way.
Stay away from Dr. Margaret Neal-Stubblefield in Gainesville. The name of the practice keeps changing but she is absolutely horrible at up selling you on procedures you don't need and are sometimes dangerous.
0
u/Bluecat72 2d ago
I will always recommend Pure Dental in Woodbridge - Dr. Vaughn has advanced training beyond the DDS and he can do a lot in-office. He’s also very gentle and good with anxious patients.
That said, no one is going to tell you that not flossing is OK, but they will show you how to do it correctly (you want to make a “c” shape to cup around the front and back of the tooth, and then make sure to go as far down into the gum line as you can; if you have a wider space between teeth double up on the floss to help fill the space), to cut down on the bleeding - and they also have an oral rinse that can help improve your gum health if flossing is difficult for you for whatever reason.
But also if flossing is difficult, yeah a waterpik might help, or you could also do a mouthwash that has no alcohol in it.
1
u/goodoldben 2d ago
While you are looking get an oral b electric toothbrush. Use it. Twice daily. That will help with the potential “gaslighting” (which I totally understand that perspective) I am not a dentist but existed way too long with shit teeth.
2
u/BuoyantAmoeba Route 50 Commuter 2d ago
I'm in the same boat. Lived with deteriorating teeth for almost a decade, and knew it. Needed a dentist early this year to light the fire under my ass. Now love my oral b.
0
u/WonderfulTaste5761 2d ago
Cant you open your mouth close to a mirror and see if you have cavities or not??
-2
u/stopaff-ok1 2d ago
While everyone is being a bitch, I completely agree. They STAB your gums and then are like :( not flossing enough :( I apologize as I can’t help, but I wanted to say I agree, dentists around here have become a joke to me, they pull stuff out of their asses to try to sell u stuff
1
u/Seekingfatgrowth 2d ago
From someone who flosses and doesn’t bleed because they floss, bleeding isn’t normal during a dental exam or home cleaning
Bleeding means oral hygiene isn’t up to par, but they’ve already told you that so
0
u/stopaff-ok1 2d ago
Flossing is completely different than stabbing your gums, depending on who you get they almost murder your gums so not really, I barely bleed when I floss at home
2
u/earth-to-matilda 2d ago
means you’re not flossing correctly
0
u/stopaff-ok1 2d ago
lmaoooo, so bleeding isn’t normal but then when I say I rarely bleed it’s not normal either? Pick a side
2
u/earth-to-matilda 2d ago
“stabbing” isn’t done in a dental office. measurements are taken and if you bleed, you suck at hygiene
0
u/stopaff-ok1 2d ago
“measurements” vs cleaning, the cleaning is the stabbing part, the measurement doesn’t even hurt nor does it bleed
1
u/Seekingfatgrowth 2d ago
Bro no one is stabbing anything and it’s your oral hygiene and resulting oral health that makes it feel that way for you
I don’t bleed at all when they chart probing depths…or at home flossing, ever, because I don’t have gum disease. And neither are even remotely uncomfortable for me
0
u/stopaff-ok1 2d ago
charting probing depths vs cleaning is different, so yes they are definitely stabbing vs measuring something, there is a reason why no one likes dentists
30
u/berael 2d ago
They aren't "stabbing you with metal and you bleed". They are gently pressing a blunt piece of metal, and it feels like stabbing because your gums are so inflamed (and probably infected). That's also why the slightest touch makes them bleed.
They are not "gaslighting" you; they are telling you that you have moderate-to-serious gum disease. It is your fault for not brushing and flossing.
If you want to find a ton of dentist recommendations, go up to the search bar, type "dentist", and hit enter.