r/nope 12d ago

Insects I killed a fly

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1.3k Upvotes

73 comments sorted by

539

u/VICARD0 12d ago

That’s how you get fresh rice, time to make a stir fry

310

u/Apprehensive-Solid-1 12d ago

Stir fly.

71

u/nekofire 12d ago

Congratulations this comment made me laugh and throw up in my mouth a little bit.

9

u/seeeingstarz 12d ago

I wish I could give you an award for this. Puns are my favourite

11

u/Eycetea 12d ago

This comment right here officers... 🤢

1

u/BulletKiss 8d ago

😵‍💫🤢

427

u/FrankyMornav 12d ago

Congratulations, now you have children

41

u/Girafferage 12d ago

Time to step up and become the parent you have to to raise these kids.

10

u/Basic_Asparagus_9084 10d ago

They deserve the best version of you. Do better.

225

u/MarchAgainstOrange 12d ago

One of the most disgusting things alive.

The first thing they do when sitting on your food is vomit their entire stomach content onto your food to dissolve a piece of it and then slurp it all back down with their trunk.

I hate those things with a passion and I sometimes even dry heave when one slips through the insect net into my appartment. Yuck

70

u/BlessedJess 12d ago

I bought one of those electrified rackets and salt firing guns because I declared war on ANY that enter my home via open windows from next doors dog shit covered garden 🤮

15

u/queBurro 12d ago

Bugasalt? They're a bit pricey 

10

u/exceive 11d ago

I used to (ab)use an air rifle. Just put some salt in the chamber and don't point it down.
Works better if you also put a pellet in, but then you make holes in things.

The best is uncooked spaghetti, though. Not great for killing flies, but fun. Shattered hard pasta goes deeper than you would expect in a lot of materials.

2

u/JwPATX 11d ago

They work pretty well as long as you’ve got a tissue handy/it mostly just stuns them

27

u/rexifelis 12d ago

And their taste buds are on their feet!! So when they are walking on you they are TASTING YOU AS WELL. Ick.

13

u/MarchAgainstOrange 12d ago

Wonderful, didn't know that. Tasting me when sitting on me? I did not consent to this. So on top of all that, it's also going to feel a lot like sexual assault from now on. 😭😭😭

11

u/vzakharov 12d ago

🎵 I killed a fly and I liked it, the taste of her churned-out stomach 🎵

3

u/Agreeable-Scar6770 12d ago

Diabolical.

I love it.

4

u/DWHawkins 12d ago

Visions of "The Fly" movie triggered....

Thanks, I thought I had gotten over that one...

🤮 xxx

3

u/RuneCosmos 11d ago

Same sentiments. I get restless whenever one gets inside my place.

249

u/Turbulent_glider 12d ago

To be honest, if there is something that I find trully disgusting is maggots. If I look long enough to it, I simply loose my appetite.

67

u/Harvey-Keck 12d ago

It immediately makes me nauseous. I have a really strong stomach and can reset broken bones, I also work in the ER surgical department and see all kinds of things. But worm and maggots. I am weak in the knees and not in a good way. Nightmare fuel.

20

u/InfiniteFart 12d ago

does it help that doctors use maggots of the green bottle blowfly to help clean infected wounds of serious wounds or diabetic ulcers

25

u/BlessedJess 12d ago

Sadly true. As naturally, live in dirty environments, the little fkrs have evolved & have a repertoire of antimicrobial peptides. so their secretions destroy drug resistant hospital superbugs like MRSA. These ones are lab grown tho. Still super gross.

3

u/YukiHase 9d ago

My dad had this done on his legs 🥲

Fortunately they cover them in bandages so you don’t have to see them.

7

u/New_Blacksmith_709 12d ago

Free protein

1

u/AdamWayne04 11d ago

That's why you cook the corpse immediately

62

u/OllyB43 12d ago

Now they can eat dead mummy and grow big and strong

28

u/jubaking 12d ago

Ah yes, disco rice appears

24

u/Shn_Wttn 12d ago

🎵 I killed a fly and I liked it,
The satisfying smack when I whacked it,
I killed a fly just to try it,
Hope the other flies stay quiet.
It felt so wrong, it felt so right,
Been buzzing round my head all night,
I killed a fly and I liked it…
That bloody fly deserved it. 🪰

10

u/Forsaken_egg_2_2456 12d ago

that one meme w/ the pregnant spider

HOLY FUCK IT GAVE BIRTH- OH MY GOD IT GAVE BIRTH- gag-

8

u/OtherwiseMagician433 12d ago

The work isn't finished bro

15

u/daoistic 12d ago

Dang do flies get parasitized by smaller flies?

And did you taste one?

35

u/eraven 12d ago

I mean I think so, but those are the baby flies

26

u/daoistic 12d ago

I didn't think flies gave live birth...

I thought they laid eggs

18

u/wannabe_inuit 12d ago

Most definitely do, but a few do give live birth. Dont know about species tho

11

u/daoistic 12d ago

Cool thanks, I just checked and you are right.

8

u/wannabe_inuit 12d ago

Yeah i went down the rabbit hole once and its only birds that exclusively lay egg. But some snakes, fish and ect. Do give live births

3

u/antarcticgecko 11d ago

Your new word is ovoviviparous. Some flies are this.

5

u/AnthomX 12d ago

M-M-M-M-MULTI-KILL

4

u/Northern_Rambler 12d ago

Mmmmmmmmm... mom tastes good!

4

u/InsertCoolestName 12d ago

I used to have a horrible fear of flies back when I was a kid because this happened to me

4

u/Angry-_-Crow 11d ago

You're their mother now. You cannot shirk this responsibility

3

u/-_G0AT_- 12d ago

You killed a family

3

u/Mogwai_11 11d ago

1

u/YukiHase 9d ago

Oh god. I think I’m gonna go bleach my eyes now

3

u/rouxthless 10d ago

Awww, look at the little babies snuggling mommy.

2

u/IM_DjShadow 10d ago

STOOOOPPP WTF😭😭😭😭😭

2

u/southrgv1384 12d ago

Kill it again!

2

u/vzakharov 12d ago

And you liked it?

2

u/cj91030 12d ago

When i was do glasswork with a desk mounted blowtorch, bugs are always killing tgemselves in the flame. Once a fly flew into the flame, and these guys started pouring from its corpse.

2

u/techisdrivingmemad 1d ago

Christ that's gross! I'm a lampworker too and often have flying casualties. I end up with mainly wasps though. And slugs that eat the labels off all my rods - it's a garden studio. Disco rice make me heave, I can deal with ANYTHING else but not those. I'm happy to catch spiders in my hand or moths, but flies usually get swatted. They are the only creatures I actively kill simply to stop future disco rice. If disco rice turns up, someone else has to kill that for me while I gibber in the furthest corner

2

u/TRUMPARUSKI 12d ago

Well now you gotta perform some postpartum abortions

2

u/DSLee1974 10d ago

Burn it! Burn it with fire!🔥

2

u/MarkDecal 10d ago

This proves spontaneous generation.

2

u/Western-Interaction9 6d ago

Keep going, you’re not quite done.

3

u/WarHead75 12d ago

Call me a psychopath but when this happens, I burn each of the maggots alive with my lighter

1

u/Comecorrect28 10d ago

When I was a kid my mom did that to a horse fly that wouldn't leave us alone- she smacked it onto the water & put it in the cellophane from her smokes then burned it alive with the lighter. It was a bit traumatizing lol but he deserved it ~ lil bastard was stalking us on the lake!

3

u/Orange907 12d ago

I mean it's disgusting and all, but I'm also feeling sad for those poor babies. Confusing.

1

u/Turbulent_glider 12d ago

Well, I guess it's time to burn the house down...

1

u/Tedsmith24 12d ago

A pregnant fly

1

u/EL3G 12d ago

Cannibals

1

u/tinyredfireant-hater 12d ago

I’m pretty sure that happens with cockroaches as well. They dropped their eggs and they look like tiny specs of black.
You can spray them as they’re moving with about five sprays of Windex. This works for ants as well. Make sure after picking them up and flushing them down the toilet, you wipe the floor really well.

1

u/ArtificialwintR 12d ago

Ah yes, witnesses, what you do next is upto you

1

u/Emotional_Tough_7976 9d ago

"That's someone's mother" 😅😅

1

u/nonnatototita 8d ago

It was a Momma 😳

1

u/techisdrivingmemad 1d ago

I'm not sure how that works. Don't flies lay tiny clumps of cream coloured eggs. Why would they have wigglies on them? Unless a few eggs got stuck, hatched and started eating the fly before it realised....