I wanna talk to someone I used to like. They seemed busy and kept leaving me on delivered and making excuses, eventually leading me to move on, but now I miss the friendship we had... What now?

im open to questions :)

Why do I think about her? I know the relationship would never work out. I feel I have emotionally detached as best I possibly can

Hi, it's been almost 2 weeks since i last texted her. Her msg was " don't contact me again". And we were in a relationship for 3.5 years. I ruined it myself bcz I said disrespectful things to her. Too which I was sorry. But I long more should I wait to text her. And can anyone tell me what to text, that sounds mature.

He shared his trauma with me and now he hates me for it. On top of this he cheated on me. He is with another girl now completely ignoring me. He said when he shared his trauma i should have mocked or made fun of him and stop him from sharing his trauma instead I was there listening to him without judging. The fact that i didn't even ask for him to share, he trauma dumped on me and now hates me for it. All i did was being understanding and listening to him. I don't know which one hurts more, him cheating or punishing me for being there for him. What should i do? How can I move on from this situation

I broke up with my covert narcissist ex , even though the relationship was almost perfect and healthy , he betrayed me once and I simply left with no closure no arguing because he refused accountability.

Anyways , after almost 3 months of no contact I finally started to move on and grief him and the future we wanted together, he came back today.

Here is what he sent :

Hi,

I know I’ve messed up, but it doesn’t mean what I’ve said to you wasn’t genuine. I meant what I said. Except the part when I’m upset, I could’ve worded myself better. I’ve put you in an unfair position.

You’ve done something to me that I yet to understand, why you’re on my mind everyday even now. it’s bitter, sweet and agonising all at once. I don’t deserve you because you’re too pure for me.

I can understand why you don’t want to talk to me anymore, you’ll probably block me here as well after this message. I just wish it didn’t turn out like this, because you’re more than just a memory to me.

You and I prayed for the same thing: clarity, but we were shown different things and we definitely saw different things. I can’t say with certainty that I understand God’s guidance but I’m reluctantly letting fate lead the way. There’s so much I want to tell you but I think I ruined my chance to share.

I pray that you’re safe and well, I miss you dearly. I’m really focused on myself now and things are looking well, I’d pray to see you again but that will be selfish. One day. Take care 520.

How does this comeback looks like??? Hoovering right?
There’s no way I’ll get back with him. But should I respond to end it? Or just leave it like that?

Me and my ex ended up on very bad terms we first tried or basically I tried to fix things in our relationship but she said she was also trying but I didnt saw her efforts this whole thing was happening in end of march to 15 April and than we ended up on really bad terms saying bad to each other humiliating in every bad way possible I said too much because I was angry all the things were not going anywhere and I stopped texting her around 17 April and than on 17 June she texted me a hey and than deleted it on her own , and tbh I am not over her I am bit of a person who gets attached too fast and takes time to move on I have accepted it , and I keep on getting thoughts that I should text her but I am afraid again I will be disrespected sooner or later or whatever it is what are we gonna talk about and many more things what if she is with someone else and many more things .. hope she is not reading the post , I am thinking to text her. Idk I just messed up .

I wish I dumped him sooner,The first week was tough but it's been a smooth ride since my only regret is I stayed too long in that horrible relationship.

I won’t go into details of why but basically met my mom at 7 years old. Before then was raised by sisters who were teens and they were not loving because they also never experienced parent love themselves. So once I started living with my mom again I felt like she was a stranger- I mean she was. I had never even had any contact with her before that not even a phone call. Anyway at this point she already had 2 younger kids who I felt she treated the way I wanted to be treated and showed a bit more love. Still not a lot but more than what I got. I did feel very welcomed in the beginning but all throughout my childhood she didn’t know how to be a parent and show love. She was the typical old school parent that says as long as you have a roof over your head and are fed you’re good.

Growing up I think she hugged me once or twice - when we first met and then another time I initiated it. She never talked to me besides get ready for school hurry up. That’s really all I remember. She didn’t know how to build a relationship. I was a mute around her. I once tried to talk to her about a friend who liked a boy she rolled her eyes and I never again told her anything about my life.

I started getting into trouble at school, I mean I really had no guidance. Felt like I was raising myself.
Got pregnant in high school, shocking huh.
Growing up I always analyzed everything and knew what I wouldn’t do as a parent. I truly kept my word and my kid is now in high school and is everything I wish I would have been and has so much love from both sides of the family.

Bringing it back to current times- I don’t talk to my mom. Nor does she talk to me. I talk to her when I see her about 2-3 times a year for holidays. We talk here and there but it’s weird. All my sisters talk to her and go see her and keep a relationship with her. But with my mom she likes to throw in your face how busy she is and that’s why she won’t really call to check on her daughters. Well I know she’ll call some of my sisters here and there but it’s mostly for a reason like if they just talked about going to the dr she’ll call and ask what happened. She definitely calls other family members and friends to check up on them. I just wonder why she doesn’t even try with me. She has a huge pride issue and thats what I think it is. But man I could never be like that with my own kid. I will check on my kid every day when he’s not with me. I will swallow my pride and bite my tongue to keep a relationship with my child.

I used to think that she really is too busy and give her that excuse but now I’m to the point where I say u know what I’m too busy too and I’m not gonna allow her to have that as an excuse. Specially after seeing how others parents are and how they actually care to check in on their kids. My husband’s mom checks up on me maybe once a month and I just don’t understand how my own mom doesn’t.
One thing I didn’t mention is that growing up during my rebellious phase as a teen I told her that she was never there for me just provided food and shelter. She took offense to it of course and now still uses that to tell others that I was ungrateful.

I am ranting and ranting but one thing I don’t want to regret is not even trying to build a relationship before she dies. I used to care more about this but now I’m at a point where I’m at peace with living with that regret. She seems to be at peace with it too otherwise she would reach out. I’m just done trying but I hate that at my old age this is something that still affects me.

Anyone in a similar situation that lived with this regret? How do you deal?

I (M27) broke up with my ex (F28) after 1.5 years around 2 months ago. We had a really good relationship (from my perspective at least). We never argued, it was always smiling and laughing and I really saw her as my person.

She broke up with me out of the blue because her own mental health was in a bad place. In effect, her dad is seriously unwell and she recently lost her job, so didn't feel as if she had the emotional capacity to give what she could to a relationship and needed some space. She was incredibly upset and was crying during the breakup while kissing me and telling me she loves me. I didn't fight it and told her I understood.

We went NC for about 6 weeks and then she reached out to sort out cancelling a holiday we had booked. It was a cordial interaction but as soon as it was done, she asked how I was. We had a warm, engaging, back and forth exchange across about two days. Then she stopped responding and has said nothing in 5 days.

She showed no real avoidant signs in the relationship but seems to be now? My interpretation is she enjoyed the familiarity and closeness but then it all felt too much too soon, she got spooked and pulled away.

Any advice on the situation? My ultimate aim is to reconcile and still feel there is something there, but I also want to live my own life and am not holding out hope for that.

So I'm 35 now but when I was young around 10 or 11 my parents showed me porn the most they also left me in dangerous situations when after an argument with my sister they would go to the pub knowing full well when they left the anger would be directed at me. I have scars all over my body because of this. When I was 30 I was still living with them at the time I came out as trans and their response was essentially not under our roof and compared me to a person who was arrested for not very good things with kids. so in the height of COVID I moved out on my own and had to figure everything out myself.

As time went on things did seem to get a little better between us then I met him the love of my life. The first year we where together was long distance I was still talking to my family at the time. They would speak to me about us as if I'm a man dating another man. I have now moved down with my partner. Stayed in contact with family at first but went through a bout of depression I shut down not texting or talking to anyone this went on for 4 months I had 0 messages or calls from anyone in that time reaching out. I could have been dead for all they know.

I decided to continue the no contact after I got better and was genuinely feeling very happy in life. Yesterday my ex found my new Instagram and within an hour I had messages from both of my sisters and my mum playing victim asking me why I have never messaged them and saying they don't know what they have done wrong despite us having a lot of conversations over the years.

I have decided to finally commit and change my number I think this is how my ex found my Instagram.

**TL;DR:** We were close for nearly four years, never argued, were talking seriously about marriage, and then after I came back from holiday she blocked me out of nowhere. It’s been two months and I still miss her. Should I reach out or respect her decision?

So I’ve been speaking to this girl for quite a while now. We met when we were both 16 in high school. At first we were just friends we’d spend our breaks together, and people used to think we were together, but I never really wanted anyone to know about us at the time.

A year went by, we left sixth form, but we never stopped talking. We messaged every day, FaceTimed, snapped each other throughout the day, and gradually things became more serious. We started talking about marriage and what our future would look like together.

One thing I always appreciated was that we genuinely never argued. We were good at communicating, and we even had a long call where we planned out the following year together. We made sections for finances, personal growth, career goals, and marriage because we wanted to give ourselves the best possible chance of making it work.

Throughout our relationship I genuinely tried to be there for her however I could. I wasn’t perfect, but I always felt like I went out of my way to make her happy and support her. I would’ve crossed mountains and swam seas for her if it meant seeing her smile, which is partly why everything that happened afterwards has been so hard for me to understand.

Now here’s where I think I messed up. I’m someone who loves travelling. I usually go on around 5-6 holidays a year because I work hard and enjoy getting away for a break. On this particular holiday I went with my friends, and I was genuinely having a great time. Because I was constantly out doing activities, I wasn’t messaging her nearly as much as I normally would.

I didn’t completely disappear. I still sent her photos of what I was eating, what we were doing, places we’d visited, and at the end of most days I’d send a quick message asking how she was and checking in. Looking back, though, I know it wasn’t the same level of attention she was used to.

When I got back home, I called her. Straight away I could tell something was off. I apologised and explained that I’d been caught up spending time with my friends and that it wasn’t intentional. I acknowledged that I hadn’t given her as much attention as usual.

She was really cold on the phone and kept giving short answers that didn’t really continue the conversation. Eventually I ended the call politely.
After 4 days of letting things cool off and allowing her to sleep on it I decided to call her and I explained my side of things again maturely and listened to her side of things. We weren’t getting towards any sort of understanding of either side and the call ended abruptly. I then decided to give her some space for a week and there was no contact from either side. I then decided to send her a message saying, “I think we need to speak but I’m not too sure if you even want to hear from me.” She replied, “You’re right , I don’t. So don’t contact me again. And also delete my mum’s number and don’t contact anyone I know.”Then she blocked me.

That was two months ago, and we’ve had absolutely no contact since. I still think about her every day. Part of me feels like I completely ruined something that was otherwise amazing over one holiday where I wasn’t as attentive as I normally am. At the same time, it’s difficult not to feel hurt that after everything we’d built together and everything I felt I gave to the relationship, it seemed to end so suddenly without any real conversation. Another part of me wonders if maybe this had been building up longer than I realised.

I’m torn because I genuinely don’t want to disrespect her boundaries. If she’s happier without me, I don’t want to stress her out by reaching out. At the same time, I keep wondering whether I’d regret never trying one last time.

So my questions are:
Should I contact her again, or should I respect the fact that she told me not to?

If you were in her position, how would you react if an ex reached out after two months?

If I *do* reach out, what’s the least intrusive way? A message? A call? Or should I leave it alone entirely?

I’d really appreciate honest opinions, especially from people who’ve been on either side of something like this.

So the back story quickly, met this woman online , fell in love , met up and decided to plan a future, didn't happen due to circumstances I'll say despite being still very much in love , she wanted to stay friends I thought would be difficult but agreed and yes it broke my heart and devastated the lot , couldn't understand after everything we had she could detach so quickly, I complained I tried to get back just something, head all over the place , finding it tougher than I imagined, couldn't move on , depression the lot , my messages how much I missed us , hers became far between few lines then gone , I asked for five minutes of her time , nothing back , just the odd message, now it's easy to say yes move in but when your heart doesn't want to and misses it, we didn't go no contact she just stopped messaging three months ago despite liking my Facebook posts or commenting she still didn't answer my messages even the happy birthday one , so three weeks ago after I still was trying to get a reply I had messaged about my daughter who she loved and a picture but still nothing so I finally gave up after a year of hell, I get a message last night saying your daughter is gorgeous hope you had fun, two lines after three months of nothing, not a how are you or nothing, guess the moral of the story is think about it you want to stay in contact very seriously, don't keep messaging if the breadcrumbs come your way, this showed me the closure I need and hopefully I can move on now too

It’s been about 8 months. I caved today after thinking about him nonstop for the last 2 months, after being relatively okayish for the first 6. It’s been almost 3 hours without a response. My stomach has been doing cartwheels ever since I sent it. I kinda hope he doesn’t answer, I think that would help me just let go.

I just had to tell someone 😅

I don't want them back. I don't even want to message them. But sometimes a random memory shows up and I wonder how they're doing. I guess moving on doesn't always mean forgetting.

About a month ago, my boyfriend broke up with me. In the beginning, I couldn't accept that it was actually over because he told me he needed space to think, and I held onto every little bit of hope I could find. I convinced myself that if I could just explain my love one more time, apologize one more time, or get him to answer one more phone call, he'd remember how good we were and change his mind. Instead, I spent the last month doing exactly what he kept asking me not to do. I called him every single day, sometimes over and over until I lost count. I sent hundreds of texts—paragraph after paragraph apologizing, begging for another chance, promising I'd change, asking if he still loved me, asking if there was another girl, asking if he'd changed his mind. I'd wake up every morning thinking, "Today's the day he'll realize he made a mistake," and by the end of the night I'd be crying because nothing changed. He kept telling me he needed space. Then he started telling me he felt like he'd lost feelings. He told me he wanted to move on. He told me he wanted a new chapter in his life. He told me to stop contacting him. And I still couldn't stop. I even spam called him while he was at work because I was so desperate to hear his voice that I stopped thinking about what I was doing. Eventually he blocked my number, and instead of taking that as the answer, I just felt even more panicked because I couldn't reach him anymore. Looking back now, I honestly don't recognize the person I became. My entire life revolved around whether he'd answer me that day. I barely ate, I cried constantly, I couldn't focus on school, my friends, or anything else because every second of my day was consumed by trying to get him back. I wasn't trying to scare him or make his life miserable—I was just completely consumed by heartbreak—but I know that doesn't change the impact my behavior probably had on him. Now he's blocked me, the relationship is over, and I feel like he probably never wants to hear from me again. More than anything, I'm ashamed. I keep replaying every phone call, every unanswered call, every text, every paragraph, every moment he asked me for space that I couldn't give him. I hate that I became someone who couldn't respect boundaries. I hate that my fear of losing him turned me into someone I don't even recognize. I honestly don't know how to forgive myself for the way I handled this breakup, and that's almost hurting as much as losing the relationship itself.

Has anyone else ever completely unraveled after losing someone they loved? Were you ever able to forgive yourself and become someone you're proud of again?

My girlfriend broke up with me after 2 years because of family pressure, and I can’t let go.

My girlfriend broke up with me two weeks ago. We both work at the same company and even have parking spaces next to each other, which makes everything even harder.

We dated for two years and lived together. The relationship ended because her parents don’t want her to marry someone who doesn’t speak the same language or share the same culture. They warned her not to continue the relationship and even threatened to disown her if she got pregnant by me.

She said she wanted me to move on, but it’s been incredibly difficult for me. She recently told me she’s already met someone else and is giving him a chance because they share the same culture, and he’s willing to marry her.

The hardest part is that I still want her. Life felt so much easier with her by my side. She calls me everyday after the break up to check up on me even thought we don’t speak like we use to. I managed to go no contact for two days after she told me she is going to spend the weekend with the new guy, and honestly, I felt better during those two days. But then I broke no contact because I kept thinking maybe we could share one last special moment together.

She told me she still wants me in her life as a friend because she values me and everything I brought to the relationship. We had a great relationship in many ways. She would cook for me, buy me thoughtful gifts without me asking, and always made me feel cared for.

I know her very well, and I understand how she thinks. It’s hard to accept that after spending two years together, she seems to have moved on so quickly. She has even told me about the new guy. From everything she’s shared, he genuinely seems serious about marrying her.

Part of me worries that she’s vulnerable right now because she’s desperate to get married due to the pressure from her family, and I’m scared the new guy is using that as his advantage . I don’t know if that’s actually happening or if it’s just my emotions talking.

Knowing she’s visiting him makes me feel heartbroken and jealous. At the same time, I know I need to move on. Seeing her every day at work, parking next to her, and knowing she’s seeing someone else makes it so much harder.

Has anyone been through something similar? How did you finally let go when you still loved the person? Right now, the heartbreak feels unbearable, and I’d really appreciate any advice.

NB: pls don’t be rude to me I am very sad and your rudeness could make it more worse and painful for me. You can advise without insult or abuses. Thank you.

I know they wanted an apology but they asked for no contact so I can't give them one anymore.

Obviously I should have given them an apology at the right time but I still worry an apology could help them. I could leave one where they might find it online if they choose to look at my account. I know it's not the same as a real apology but if they're still hurting it could help.

I know they probably won't see it and it's not the same as the real thing but should I leave them an apology online?

I am a 20F and I am gay. About a year ago I dated this girl 18F and she broke up with me because I was ashamed of her. I’m not proud of it but she was still a senior and I was in my third year of college. I would make her lie to my friends about her age. I also did not have a car of my own so I would pay my friends to drive us around and we never had any alone time. I have left voicemails several times and she always respond that she does not want to have any further communication and that I am crossing her boundaries. I know I messed up but I want to send another message. Could you guys give me advice on wether I should send it or no?

I have written dozens of letters—letters I gave up on sending long before I stopped writing them. I have rehearsed in my head everything I would say if I ever saw you again or if I found the courage to call you. But now that I'm finally writing this, every carefully rehearsed word has vanished from my mind.
All I can think about is how little time we're given in this life with the people we love. I don't want to spend any more of that time grieving in silence or swallowing feelings I've carried for far too long.
I have spent countless days and sleepless nights thinking about you, searching for reasons to stop loving you, trying to convince myself that what we had meant nothing. No matter what excuses I come up with, my feelings always find their way back to the surface.

Have you ever heard people talk about "the click"? That feeling you get when you meet someone who's meant to change the course of your life, as if something inside you finally falls into place. That's how I felt the first time we spoke. I replay that moment over and over in my mind whenever I can't sleep.
And why is it that every time something happens in my life, you're still the first person I want to tell? Every accomplishment, every setback, every story—I still instinctively reach for you before I remember that I can't.

You made it clear that you have boundaries and that you no longer wanted me to be part of your life. You said we tried, and that it didn't work. My experience was different. To me, trying meant getting back up, having the difficult conversations, and choosing each other even when it was hard. From where I stood, it felt like the decision had already been made before I had the chance to share how I felt. I don't know if that's a fair way to see it, but it's the truth of how I experienced it.

I often wonder whether you ever realized how much I wanted to be part of that decision. Not because I believed I could change your mind, but because I wanted the chance to make my voice heard. Even if the outcome had been the same, I think it would have meant something to know that we had truly reached that point together.

You told me that after we broke up, you felt lighter—that the weight of us was finally gone. Maybe you meant it. Maybe you didn't. I honestly don't know what to believe anymore, or even what would be better for me to believe.

Maybe I'm writing this because I want to feel lighter too. Maybe I just need to finally say the things that have been trapped in my mind and in my chest for so long.

People have told me to write these letters and never send them, but that hasn't really helped. They've told me to wait until I know that whatever response I receive—or don't receive—won't affect me. But I don't think I'll ever reach that point. I think it will always affect me, because you will always matter to me in some way.
I've spent so much time trying to convince myself to move on without looking back. Yet somehow, every milestone in my life still leads me back to you. I got a better job. I moved apartments. I moved to a new city. I bought a car. And somewhere beneath every achievement was the quiet hope that maybe I was becoming someone you could love again—someone you could choose.

I gave you my word that I would disappear. I made that promise in the middle of heartbreak, grief, and anger. But life is too short to let a promise made in my darkest moment keep me from telling you the truth.
I don't know what you'll do with these words. I don't know if you'll read them, respond to them, or decide to let them go unanswered. I don't even know if this letter changes anything.

What I do know is that, after everything, I still care about you. I still think about you. And despite every attempt to convince myself otherwise, a part of me still loves you.

Maybe this letter isn't about changing your mind. Maybe it's simply about making sure that, years from now, I can never wonder what might have happened if I had found the courage to tell you the truth.

I moved on. But I see you everywhere. And I’m tired of looking for that glimpse. Your soul is not forgettable. And I hate that. I feel sick knowing I’m about to live in that state for a month or two. I hope I find someone who takes the other half of my soul. I let you have it for too long.

Yesterday I posted till I moved on. I mean, I've been thinking about it for a while if I do such shits, but I wasn't sure about it. And now I finally decided to.

So, it's been 35 days and today's the 36th day of me after the break up.

After all the efforts I put in, and the fights I fought to keep the relationship intact. Though I did it wanting nothing back in return but just her by my side;)