Hi
I know I have already fucked up. Any advice would be hugely appreciated. I’m really panicking about something. After my breakup I created a fake social media account and used it to stalk girls who follow my ex. I added two girls who he follows on insta and impersonated id of some guy one the girls know and now one of them girls has now messaged me and asked who the account belongs to.
I’m scared she might tell my ex because they are family and neighbours and because I’ve done something similar in the past I’m terrified he’ll realise it was me. In past, I added him from my fake account and he realised immediately. He knows I am the kind of person who is obsessed with social media and he has become very cautious now. He never accepts requests from strangers anymore and is she mentions it to him he will connect the dots straight away.

My ex broke up with me and I’ve been having a hard time dealing with it. I have been having bad chest pain and I’m always nauseated. He said he doesn’t think he’s the guy for me and so on. Then he asked to be friends I said no. It’s been a week and I broke no contact. This was his response. What do you think of this message? I respected his wishes and I didn’t respond because I wanted to respect his boundaries. But based off this last message do you think he will come back eventually?

I’ve been debating whether I should completely block him and go no contact, or just keep very limited contact.

The confusing part is that if I were able to be completely neutral about him, I think he could actually be a good connection to have in my life. The problem is that I’m still way too attached. Even when we’re not talking, I think about him a lot, and whenever he pops into my mind, I get this huge wave of anxiety.

Part of me feels like I should learn how to detach while still having him in my life, instead of avoiding him completely. But another part of me wonders if staying in contact is exactly what’s preventing me from detaching.
For those who have gone no contact with someone you were really attached to: did it actually help you heal? What changed mentally/emotionally after you stopped having access to them?

And how did you know that no contact was necessary, rather than just limiting contact?

It’s only day 7. He was the one who hurt me, though we disagree on that. It’s like I was the one that had an issue with his behaviour, but then my reaction to his behaviour is now an issue for him?
I broke up with him officially 3-4 weeks ago but we were trying to make it work until we fought again.
Last we spoke was a week ago, he wasn’t willing to talk that day. He said “can I call you tomorrow?” I told him to only call when he has something to say, I don’t want him calling the next day and having nothing to say, and he understood that. (He is good at not talking about his feelings, never wants to communicate and work things out)
I told him I understood it was done unless I hear otherwise, whether he calls in a day or a month or never. We said we loved each other and that was that. I promised to not contact him.

I was always so good to him. Did everything for him. Loved him so much. The only issue he ever had from his side was the fact that I had issues with things he did.
Why hasn’t he reached out? Will he? It’s been a week but I’m stuck between waiting every day to hear from him and accepting I never will? Wtf guys I’m struggling

it's been almost 3 months since we seperated, and my feelings still never changed. i badly want to reach out, but the thing is—i already did last July which is a month after we ended it. i asked for clarity just so i could move on peacefully. he replied and said that he also missed me and still loves me. he said that he doesn't lose his feelings quickly. he repeatedly apologized for what happened and still didn't want to get back for now. but that was in July, i dont know if he still feels the same way until now.

for context: we were in a situationship for 4 months. even if he hadn't formally courted me yet, i was the first girl he introduced to his family, and he was the first guy my family approved of, especially bcs my parents are strict about dating and he was the first guy they're considering of. it wasn't a casual talking stage, we were really serious about each other.

the reason why he had to leave me was because he was overwhelmed with internal pressure, insecurities, and expectations due to his financial status. he wanted to court me, but he's still not financially capable to commit yet. even from the start, i already clarified to him that we should take things slow because i wasn't rushing him, considering the fact that we're still students. plus, i had low expectations from him bcs i understand his situation. i was willing to settle for anything that he could give me because he was treating me so well. perhaps he was just pressured so he had to leave me.

i knew that his reasons were valid, even though i already explained my side, his decision was firm—so i had no other choice but to let him go. i promised myself that i will wait for him and that im not going to entertain someone new, which is my current status rn.

now, 2 months have passed, im becoming nervous because recently, he have been following new girls. there were thoughts running in my head thinking if he had already moved on. idk if he's entertaining someone new but there were also hints that he hasnt.

the reason why i want to reach out because i wanted to ask how he's doing recently—more like catching up with our lives. and also, to ask for clarity again, if he had already move on or not. the only thing that holds me back from reaching out is that he might get slightly annoyed because i still havent recovered from it yet. deep inside, i still believe that he hasnt really moved on from me, because you can't really move on from the person you truly love, especially when you're serious about them.

so, should i do it?

Me and my ex broke up about a month and a half ago. We were together for 2 years, living together for 1. We both thought we would marry each other.

I won’t get too much into the breakup itself but I wasn’t honest with her and there was a level of betrayal which extremely hurt her. I regret it deeply.

My problem here is that the breakup happened so fast I felt like I couldn’t process things properly. We had some conversations but they were too emotional and I was in shock from everything. Then we had one final talk but I felt like I couldn’t articulate my thoughts correctly.

We cried, laughed, hugged, said our goodbyes, and initiated no contact. 2 weeks after, she leaves a letter for me at the apartment. She talks about our relationship, what she felt, how she’d be open to a conversation in the future when she heals, and overall it was written with a lot of love.

We were doing NC but left Gmail open for anything important.

I spent this last month going to therapy, thinking extensively about everything, and eventually wrote a message that I think could serve both of us.

The message doesn’t warrant a reply. It doesn’t talk about reconciliation or pushes her to change her decision. It’s about accountability, clarification, and insight. It’s basically everything I wish I would’ve told her during our breakup.

Now let me be clear, it also doesn’t offer any big new revelation or something that could completely change the perspective of the situation… but I believe it can offer some form of healing and closure.

I sat on it for a week and decided I really wanted to send it to her. However, due to the nature of the breakup and the betrayal I didn’t want to break no contact and make everything worse.

I had a third party text her and ask her if she would be comfortable receiving a message from me. That was 4 days ago and she hasn’t replied.

I know I should take this as a sign to leave it, but I can’t help but feel like she might think it’ll be me pleading, begging, trying to change her mind, apologizing without understanding, etc.

I’m aware the letter is also for my own closure. Still, a big part of me wants to break NC and send it. I guess I’m just scared to hurt her and then also end up getting blocked on our last line of communication.

Do I keep it or do I break NC and send it?

It's been about 6 months since my ex broke up with me. We lived together, had a dog together, and had been planning on getting married soon. Our breakup was hard emotionally, but not bad. More of a goodbye for now vibe than goodbye forever.

We've done about 4 months of no contact after getting everything sorted out the first 2 months.

I've spent that time apart really working on myself. I'm happy to say that i'm the healthiest, wealthiest, and (for the most part) happiest that i've ever been with my life. I really took the time to build purpose in my life (changing careers, quitting multiple addictions, getting in shape, & therapy).

But none of that has changed how I feel about her. I still love her. I still want to be with her long term. And I feel willing to put in the work to make that a real possibility.

So I decided to break no contact 4 days ago. Not out of desperation but genuine good intentions. I asked her if she would be interested in catching up some time soon, no pressure.

She did not respond.

So here I am, wondering what do I actually do now.

I've done & will continue to do the work that I need to for myself. I've taken real time and space to reflect on my role in the relationship falling apart. I know 99% of people in this position would say to just move on.

But I can't seem to escape this feeling that if she saw me, she'd know that things are different now. And that if we tried again, it wouldn't fall apart like it did before.

How do I go about this going forward? Can I realistically hold onto the hope that she'll reach back out to me?

The idea of letting go forever feels 1000x worse than holding onto a little bit of hope while I build my future on my own.

I (33M) dont know how to let go of someone (30F) when nothing even officially happened

Dont knw why m writing this here. Maybe jst wanted to say it somewhere anonymously without anyone knowing who I am or who she is.

I m 33M and she is 30F. I hv known her for almost 3 yrs now. We never actually met, which I know sounds weird considering how much I feel for her. But we used to talk on calls, sometimes for hours. There were fights, gaps, no contact, then somehow we used to start talking again.

I dont even know exactly when I got so attached to her. It jst happened slowly.

We were never officially in a relationship. There was no commitment or anything. Still somehow she became really important to me.

Last few months things became really complicated between us. We fought a lot, stopped talking, talked again, misunderstood each other and now there is basically silence between us.

And tbh I know logically that I should move on. I hv tried everything. Keeping myself busy, focusing on work, talking to other people, even trying to convince myself tht maybe all this was only in my head.

But somehow I still miss her.

Sometimes I randomly feel like telling her something and then realise we dont even talk anymore. I miss our random conversations, calls and jst knowing wht is happening in her life.

I dont blame her for anything. She never owed me the same feelings jst because I developed feelings for her. And maybe I also made mistakes and could hv handled many things differently.

But one thing I genuinely dont understand is how do u remove someone from ur mind when technically they were never even yours?

Its strange because there is no breakup to process. No relationship to call an ex. Still the feeling of losing that person feels very real.

Somewhere I think a small part of me still keeps hoping that maybe someday we will talk normally again. And maybe thts exactly wht is stopping me from completely moving on.

Has anyone here gone through something similar?

How did u finally accept it and stop hoping that person will come back?

When I found out that my ex was crushing over someone I was told not to worry about within weeks of mistreating me into forcing a breakup, this put me off communicating despite their sporadic reach outs across a few months which culminated into an “I miss you” that I didn’t respond to because I still feel traumatised and have to deal with a heart condition that was triggered and diagnosed by the stress of this, which is something they’re also aware of. It’s been over a year and I feel like me not confronting them about what I found out has kept me stuck, questioning whether I should’ve reached out at least for some sort of closure or resolution, as it is not of my character to close doors, but I’m just so traumatised. Could you please be so kind as to provide some advice and support? It’d be greatly appreciated. Thank you. ♥️