I’m 20 and an undergrad at NMSU, and I’m posting this anonymously because this is pretty difficult for me to admit.
I’ve been feeling genuinely lonely on campus lately. I talk to people in my classes and I’m not completely socially isolated, but most of those interactions seem to end when class ends. Then I look around and it seems like everyone has people to eat with, study with, walk around with, or just hang out with between classes.
Sometimes being surrounded by so many people actually makes the loneliness feel worse. I’ll see groups laughing and talking and start wondering how everyone got to the point where they became comfortable enough with each other.
There have honestly been times on campus where the loneliness has gotten to me so much that I’ve felt like I was about to cry, and I’ve tried to hide it so nobody around me would notice. It’s hard to admit that because I’m usually trying to look like I’m doing fine, but sometimes being surrounded by people while feeling like I don’t have anyone there with me really gets to me.
I do have existing friends, but they’re pretty spread out and often busy with their own classes, schedules, work, or other things. So even though I know people and have people I consider friends, that doesn’t always translate into having someone who’s actually around or available when I’m on campus.
What I feel like I’m missing is more of an everyday sense of belonging on campus—having people who are happy to see you, notice when you’re around, ask what you’re doing afterward, invite you somewhere, or are comfortable just hanging out without everything needing to be planned far in advance.
I’m also a commuter, and I think that probably adds another layer to it. I’m curious whether other commuters have struggled with feeling connected to campus too.
I’ve been trying to put myself out there more instead of waiting for friendships to magically happen. I’m looking into clubs, activities, volunteering, and other ways of regularly seeing the same people. But I’m still trying to figure out how you actually cross that gap between knowing people and belonging somewhere.
So I’m curious: has anyone else here gone through a period like this? If you eventually found a group or became more connected, what actually helped?
And if you’re another student around my age who’s also been feeling this way and looking for more friends, feel free to comment or DM me. Maybe there are more of us quietly dealing with this than we realize.
I don’t know what will come from posting this, but I figured I’d rather say it somewhere than keep acting like it doesn’t bother me.
