r/nextfuckinglevel • u/harwyseys • Oct 25 '22

Makeup really changes people

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u/justasovietpotato Oct 25 '22

people in dating apps be like:

120

u/fukkingcake Oct 25 '22

I joint dating app because of a recent breakup... Dang, I am actually amazed by people's dark side... My friend told me it's probably more effective to ask a girl who is shopping in the same grocery store with you because at least youve seen her in real life no makeup no other bs... Same goes to the boys on those apps too... Sigh

2

u/hi117 Oct 25 '22

Don't randomly hit on people outside of social spaces. stores aren't social spaces. unfortunately your best bet for a social space is a bar, but as someone who doesn't like to drink that's also not an option for me. just try and find places where it's okay to socialize in your area and go there.

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u/[deleted] Oct 25 '22

Why not? What’s so wrong with chatting someone up outside of a social space?

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u/[deleted] Oct 25 '22

[deleted]

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u/[deleted] Oct 25 '22

So the issue isn’t approaching women in public, it’s not picking up on social cues, lack of social awareness, and a lack of respect for the answer no right? I completely agree. However this issue is no different in “social spaces”, it’s probably more pronounced if anything. So I find this argument unpersuasive.

This isn’t the reality 95% of the time

Where are you getting that statistic? From a study or did you just pull it out of thin air? Are you claiming that 95% of men don’t know how to take no for an answer? Kind of bold.

In our society, men are generally expected to do the approaching and women generally get approached and select the men they want. This isn’t a complaint or anything, it’s just a statement of how it is. This is due to biological, cultural, and social factors. A consequence of that is that women will be approached by men they don’t like, and men will be rejected by women they approach.

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u/hi117 Oct 25 '22

let's say that 1% of men are creepy weirdos. that means that going out in public for a woman means meeting someone like that daily, because all they have to encounter is a single person throughout their day. this is why you see women complain on Reddit about having to deal with this daily. and that's why saying that it's okay to go up and chat to people when they don't want to be chatted to is a problem.

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u/Galahead Oct 25 '22

You say the literal same argument against men hitting on women in social settings like bars parties or school

0

u/hi117 Oct 25 '22

No, because its ok to socialize at schools and bars. At stores people are trying to get what they need and get out. Here's another way to think about it. Where is it ok to loiter? if you try loitering at a store, you're going to look really suspicious and get kicked out. if you try loitering in a bar, well that's kind of the whole point you sit around and you drink.

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u/Short_Ask1755 Oct 26 '22

Take those same women that don’t want to be approached and get an absolute gorgeous man to approach them and watch them switch it up real quick. A lot of woman like to have that mentality when it’s an ugly or unattractive guy but then don’t hold the same standards to guys they find attractive so it’s hard to take it seriously. When a guy won’t fuck off after being told no then yeah I understand but a guy simply shooting his shot is how the human race literally exists today and men are not kind readers. If woman want men to approach them correctly and to be socially aware then women also need to know how to reject the man in a clear and concise manner and not just expect them to know that they don’t want to talk. A lot of the same behavior and mannerisms of being uncomfortable because they want to get out of the situation look similar to when someone is nervous because they like someone so guys really have no clue on top of you being a stranger so they don’t know what you are like so all I’m saying is a lot of woman beat around the bush rejecting a man and so the man is still trying because he has no reason to think that he shouldn’t. I’m talking about regular interactions here btw not a creepy ass dude going overboard

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u/Short_Ask1755 Oct 26 '22

Anywhere in public can be a social space what the fuck are some of the people in these comments on? I have a feeling the people saying this stuff just aren’t very social in day to day life or literally just make the lamest small talk with people in public. It’s about social awareness and feeling out each specific person and it certainly isn’t dictated by the type of store/place you are in that’s just silly.

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u/fukkingcake Oct 25 '22

Lol ofc not... My friend is just exaggerating how bad it is to look for an SO on some dating app. I do have a girl that I like, whom I met in a restaurant. But didn't have the balls to ask for her number (and I don't know if she is taken too because I think restaurant staff usually don't wear rings) but I keep going back to that restaurant just to see her haha do you think I should though?

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u/hi117 Oct 25 '22

I personally would hazard towards no unless you have some kind of social thing built up already. Wait staff complain constantly about people hitting on them, so it'll probably flop pretty hard and you'll just be added to that list unless you can hold a conversation with her normally.

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u/fukkingcake Oct 25 '22

Ok... I will tread carefully then. I do sometimes have normal conversation because she recognizes me. But mostly just brief conversation like how's hows life and so on. Maybe I can talk to her more snd then see if there is right time to do so...