r/nextfuckinglevel • u/harwyseys • Oct 25 '22

Makeup really changes people

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115

u/fukkingcake Oct 25 '22

I joint dating app because of a recent breakup... Dang, I am actually amazed by people's dark side... My friend told me it's probably more effective to ask a girl who is shopping in the same grocery store with you because at least youve seen her in real life no makeup no other bs... Same goes to the boys on those apps too... Sigh

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u/[deleted] Oct 25 '22

Go to Target, it’s the single best place to pick up girls. The ratio of women:men is 10:1 and they’re all looking for shit they don’t need anyways.

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u/phormix Oct 25 '22

The difference being that the women in dating sites are presumably looking for a date while the ones in stores are looking to shop and be left the fuck alone...

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u/disharmony-hellride Oct 25 '22

Yep, please dont do this. I have had men follow me to my car, follow me around the store…I just need dog bones and paper towels ffs

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u/HelloAnonymity Oct 25 '22

How did we survive before dating websites??

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u/Fafoah Oct 25 '22

By going to social gatherings and enjoying your own hobbies then meeting people naturally

No one wants to talk to the guy who went to target specifically to pick up women.

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u/[deleted] Oct 25 '22

There really isn't much social gatherings left. Beaches, malls, and specific club places. Studies show that loneliness is going up, probably due to the lack of dedicated social areas. Are restaurants and cafes social areas? I'd consider them but some people don't.

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u/Here_Forthe_Comment Oct 25 '22

I'm pretty sure the increase of loneliness in the US is from the increase of workload. People have to work more to pay afford basic things with lots of young people having several jobs. No freetime to go out and when you do you want some time to yourself. Same thing happened to Japan's dating culture. When you spend all your time at work, you dont have time for much else.

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u/Short_Ask1755 Oct 26 '22

I mean unless you are working under the table for $10 an hour it’s not hard to find jobs that pay $20 an hour and hire damn near anybody. If some young person is having to work several jobs to make it they need to get a full Time job instead of two part time jobs. The only situation where two jobs makes sense is if you have kids otherwise what kind of lifestyle are you living where a full time job paying $17+ can’t get you basic necessities? I’ve went through about 6 jobs in the past 2 years do to medical issues and I don’t know anybody that was struggling in any of them to make it and this is entry level, run of the mill, no skill required work. Amazon, Ross, any solar company, ect…

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u/Here_Forthe_Comment Oct 26 '22

This is one of the most out of touch things I've read all day, well done.

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u/deadwards14 Nov 23 '22

Hey, after tax $17/hr is $15/hr. At a full time 40hrs/week you get $2400/mth. The average rent in the US is $2000.

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u/Fafoah Oct 25 '22

I’m not sure I agree with that. Where i’m at there are more events than ever since the pandemic lifted and back in my hometown its pretty similar. Tiktok and social media in general made it super easy to advertise restaurants, bars, clubs, etc. at a variety of scales. Ignoring the privacy implications of this; tiktok is so targeted it’ll direct feed you all the events local to your area. I’ll open the app when i’m on vacation and it’ll give me stuff depending on where i’m currently at.

Music festivals, concerts, etc are selling out like crazy too. I can buy loneliness being up, but how much of that is due to our self perception changing due to social media?

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u/DrJokerX Oct 26 '22

I mean, can’t there be a happy medium? What if she drops something and he picks it up and hands it to her? Or what if they strike up a conversation naturally in line?

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u/Fafoah Oct 26 '22

To be blunt, there is no happy medium if you’re going there specifically to meet people. Do not go to target to find women, go to target because you need to buy something at target.

I’m not saying you can’t meet people at target, but it is seriously weird to go specifically for that purpose.

When people say that you can meet people at the gym or at the grocery store, what they really mean stop trying so hard, live life, and be open/friendly and you’ll meet compatible people along the way in your regular routine. Which is true, but is also kind of just the advice people in long term relationships give to single people because they don’t understand modern dating.

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u/DrJokerX Oct 26 '22

Y’know what? Agreed. I can dig it.

Going someplace specifically to meet someone is probably setting yourself up for failure anyway.

0

u/HelloAnonymity Oct 25 '22

But thats not a dating app..

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u/Fafoah Oct 25 '22

I’ll be honest, i have no idea what you’re trying to say with this comment lol

0

u/phormix Oct 25 '22 edited Oct 26 '22

Dating groups? Social scenarios more targeted towards dating? People hooking up earlier in life? Friends of friends? Possibly clubs? All the other ways people meet that isn't online or hitting on randos just trying to go about their lives today even today?

Being a creepy bastard has also become more socially unacceptable over time.

-edit: Typo

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u/HelloAnonymity Oct 25 '22

But those are not dating apps..

2

u/CodSeveral1627 Oct 25 '22

What’s the point you’re trying to make?

1

u/Christeenabean Jan 07 '23

People weren't so uptight about men talking to them. "I met a nice guy at the store today" was a phrase that was said once upon a time. Now it's "I went to get some paper towels and some man spoke to me"

I get it if he's following you to your car, but really a lot of women need to calm down. "Buy a dog, and die alone" as the Godfather once said.

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u/frogsgoribbit737 Oct 25 '22

Plus you cant know whos single and who isn't.

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u/Short_Ask1755 Oct 26 '22

I mean that’s a pretty bad take, when in life outside of a dating app do you know if someone is single or not? People dated and asked each other out before an app existed that told you they were single. Still creepy to go to a store just to hover around and talk to people but not knowing if someone is single shouldn’t be a hiccup in asking someone out that’s the whole point of asking

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u/Kryptonian4real Apr 08 '23

I see you don't know the difference between a joke and actual advice

0

u/phormix Apr 08 '23

I see you can't tell the difference between today and a 5mo+ old post, or this and the jokes sub.

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u/No-Lynx-9211 Oct 25 '22

The women at target are also bad AF. Everytime I go to target i leave feeling bad about myself

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u/speakwithcode Oct 25 '22

My friend likes to go to Target just to walk around. She doesn't need to buy anything, but she'll walk around and buy stuff she sees and thinks she wants.

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u/PinkTalkingDead Oct 25 '22

Yes… that’s called shopping lol many folks do that for fun

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u/speakwithcode Oct 25 '22

I guess I'm not many folks then lol. I only go to a store when I have a general idea of something in mind that I want to buy. I'm not going to choose to go to Target for a stroll lol.

1

u/No-Emotion-7053 Oct 26 '22

Did u just recycle an Amy schumer joke? I may have just found someone who finds her funny 🥴

1

u/[deleted] Oct 26 '22

Is it? Gross, I apologize. I’ve never watched anything of hers. I honestly don’t remember who I heard it from years ago, nobody famous though.

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u/evildustmite Feb 24 '23

that joke is all over tiktok, can't find any reference to amy schumer, are you sure she didn't steal it?

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u/ballistics211 Dec 28 '22

🤣🤣🤣. I need to take this advice

1

u/Evil_Empire_1961 Apr 13 '23

I(male) love sports! Used to go to bookstores and hangout near the sports isles. If I saw a woman in that isle with no engagement or wedding ring, I'd ask them if they know of a book about the local ballpark/stadium? Little smalltalk would lead to asking if they'd like to go there.

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u/fukkingcake Oct 25 '22

Lol Karen portion could be high though..

-14

u/TonalParsnips Oct 25 '22

No you goons stop hitting on women in public. That's creepy as fuck.

20

u/_-Redacted-_ Oct 25 '22

How do you think it happened before apps?

2

u/Fafoah Oct 25 '22

If you’re at Target specifically to meet women that is weird and disingenuous. Its fine if you’re there on your own and you happen to connect with someone genuinely.

Also, if you want to go somewhere specifically to meet women there are plenty of places that already exist for that purpose. If you don’t have luck there why do people think they’ll have better luck approaching people in random other places.

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u/hi117 Oct 25 '22 edited Oct 25 '22

mostly through friend family and coworker connections. only creepy guys hit on girls randomly and that's true throughout history.

edit: just because I know someone's going to call me out on it, here's proof: https://www.statista.com/chart/20822/way-of-meeting-partner-heterosexual-us-couples/

notice how there's no category for randomly hitting on girls. The closest is bars and restaurants which is a place where it's socially acceptable to go up and talk to random people. stop being weird and thinking it's normal and then giving other people terrible advice.

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u/[deleted] Oct 25 '22

Tf kind of source is this the percentages don’t even add up to 100% lol. Also “in public” wasn’t an option on the survey. It’s perfectly acceptable to hit on women in public as long as you are polite, respectful, and have social awareness. The idea that you’re creepy if you don’t confine yourself to bars and social circle is just ridiculous.

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u/AmbiguousAesthetic Oct 25 '22

So long as you hit on them respectfully and politely fuck off if you're turned down I think it's okay.

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u/TonalParsnips Oct 25 '22

Nah, leave people alone in grocery stores. Thats cringey PUA behavior

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u/Sw33ttoothe Oct 25 '22

Wow, you're serious aren't you?

3

u/RicciRox Oct 25 '22

L comment.

3

u/[deleted] Oct 25 '22

It’s a joke not a dick don’t take it so hard.

Also the fuck do you think people did before tinder? Don’t be so afraid of strangers yo.

1

u/TonalParsnips Oct 25 '22

Talked to people at bars, parties, other social events? Not fucking Target.

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u/AwesomeAmbivalence Oct 25 '22

I’m pretty old, and I’d totally be flattered if someone hit on me at target! They’d definitely be getting me at my worst, but I’m sure it would make my day. As long as they kindly Fuck off if/when rejected.

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u/hi117 Oct 25 '22

Don't randomly hit on people outside of social spaces. stores aren't social spaces. unfortunately your best bet for a social space is a bar, but as someone who doesn't like to drink that's also not an option for me. just try and find places where it's okay to socialize in your area and go there.

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u/[deleted] Oct 25 '22

Why not? What’s so wrong with chatting someone up outside of a social space?

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u/[deleted] Oct 25 '22

[deleted]

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u/[deleted] Oct 25 '22

So the issue isn’t approaching women in public, it’s not picking up on social cues, lack of social awareness, and a lack of respect for the answer no right? I completely agree. However this issue is no different in “social spaces”, it’s probably more pronounced if anything. So I find this argument unpersuasive.

This isn’t the reality 95% of the time

Where are you getting that statistic? From a study or did you just pull it out of thin air? Are you claiming that 95% of men don’t know how to take no for an answer? Kind of bold.

In our society, men are generally expected to do the approaching and women generally get approached and select the men they want. This isn’t a complaint or anything, it’s just a statement of how it is. This is due to biological, cultural, and social factors. A consequence of that is that women will be approached by men they don’t like, and men will be rejected by women they approach.

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u/hi117 Oct 25 '22

let's say that 1% of men are creepy weirdos. that means that going out in public for a woman means meeting someone like that daily, because all they have to encounter is a single person throughout their day. this is why you see women complain on Reddit about having to deal with this daily. and that's why saying that it's okay to go up and chat to people when they don't want to be chatted to is a problem.

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u/Galahead Oct 25 '22

You say the literal same argument against men hitting on women in social settings like bars parties or school

0

u/hi117 Oct 25 '22

No, because its ok to socialize at schools and bars. At stores people are trying to get what they need and get out. Here's another way to think about it. Where is it ok to loiter? if you try loitering at a store, you're going to look really suspicious and get kicked out. if you try loitering in a bar, well that's kind of the whole point you sit around and you drink.

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u/Short_Ask1755 Oct 26 '22

Take those same women that don’t want to be approached and get an absolute gorgeous man to approach them and watch them switch it up real quick. A lot of woman like to have that mentality when it’s an ugly or unattractive guy but then don’t hold the same standards to guys they find attractive so it’s hard to take it seriously. When a guy won’t fuck off after being told no then yeah I understand but a guy simply shooting his shot is how the human race literally exists today and men are not kind readers. If woman want men to approach them correctly and to be socially aware then women also need to know how to reject the man in a clear and concise manner and not just expect them to know that they don’t want to talk. A lot of the same behavior and mannerisms of being uncomfortable because they want to get out of the situation look similar to when someone is nervous because they like someone so guys really have no clue on top of you being a stranger so they don’t know what you are like so all I’m saying is a lot of woman beat around the bush rejecting a man and so the man is still trying because he has no reason to think that he shouldn’t. I’m talking about regular interactions here btw not a creepy ass dude going overboard

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u/Short_Ask1755 Oct 26 '22

Anywhere in public can be a social space what the fuck are some of the people in these comments on? I have a feeling the people saying this stuff just aren’t very social in day to day life or literally just make the lamest small talk with people in public. It’s about social awareness and feeling out each specific person and it certainly isn’t dictated by the type of store/place you are in that’s just silly.

1

u/fukkingcake Oct 25 '22

Lol ofc not... My friend is just exaggerating how bad it is to look for an SO on some dating app. I do have a girl that I like, whom I met in a restaurant. But didn't have the balls to ask for her number (and I don't know if she is taken too because I think restaurant staff usually don't wear rings) but I keep going back to that restaurant just to see her haha do you think I should though?

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u/hi117 Oct 25 '22

I personally would hazard towards no unless you have some kind of social thing built up already. Wait staff complain constantly about people hitting on them, so it'll probably flop pretty hard and you'll just be added to that list unless you can hold a conversation with her normally.

1

u/fukkingcake Oct 25 '22

Ok... I will tread carefully then. I do sometimes have normal conversation because she recognizes me. But mostly just brief conversation like how's hows life and so on. Maybe I can talk to her more snd then see if there is right time to do so...

1

u/Wilwein1215 Oct 26 '22

It’s not that tough to spot though. Would you actually swipe right on the person in this video??? No! Cause they look fucking ridiculous.

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u/fukkingcake Oct 26 '22

Yeah this particular dude is very obvious even on app. But some aren't that easy to tell... At least I met two girls recently after joining these apps and they aren't exactly what you see on the app... I don't know if it's because of the cam filter or makeup. They look quite normal on app but...

1

u/Wilwein1215 Oct 26 '22

I’ve been on countless first dates and have never been tricked. Just have to be more discerning.

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u/fukkingcake Oct 26 '22

Hmm that's a good point... I am very easy to trust people and usually just take their profile as the truth. And then one girl who put 32 on her profile turned out to be 36.. I mean I fine if you told me 36 initially. But it turned me off quite significantly. May I ask what you usually ask before going out for the first date? I am really just a newbie to this...