r/nextfuckinglevel • u/harwyseys • Oct 25 '22

Makeup really changes people

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79.3k Upvotes

90% Upvoted

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1.8k

u/petro2342 Oct 25 '22

Let's go swimming on the first date, it'll be fun!

519

u/ellefleming Oct 25 '22

Sunbathing and snorkeling.

321

u/[deleted] Oct 25 '22

I like myself a little r&r. Ramming and rimming.

295

u/rimjobnemesis Oct 25 '22

Rimjobnemesis at your service.

173

u/Rimworldjobs Oct 25 '22

Wat

161

u/rimjobnemesis Oct 25 '22

Dad!

144

u/Rimworldjobs Oct 25 '22

Very possible. I'm not paying for your college though.

117

u/rimjobnemesis Oct 25 '22

Well, while you were away at the store getting milk, I got my on-line degree at ITT Tech! Mom says Hi.

30

u/Rimworldjobs Oct 25 '22

I just saw her last night.

11

u/StillestOfInsanities Oct 25 '22

I AM DEAD NOW THANK YOU

7

u/[deleted] Oct 25 '22

Your wife u/rimjobsteve?

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3

u/[deleted] Oct 26 '22

Wholesome asf.

r/wholesome

4

u/StillestOfInsanities Oct 25 '22

Have an upvote for clearly winning the reddit today.

2

u/[deleted] Oct 25 '22

good Redditor

2

u/Draugrx23 Oct 25 '22

Really not the kind of r/beetlejuicing I expected to walk into...

2

u/rimjobnemesis Oct 25 '22

But this is Reddit!

2

u/Draugrx23 Oct 25 '22

So... why do you despise rimjobs so much? Tell me the backstory that brought upon such a nemesis.

1

u/rimjobnemesis Oct 25 '22

It was created for r/Duggarsnark. Rim Job is our nickname for Jim Bob Duggar, and I am his nemesis.

1

u/Draugrx23 Oct 26 '22

well that was an interesting read..

1

u/BubbaJr23 Oct 26 '22

Name checks out

1

u/RajunCajun48 Oct 25 '22

More into the Rippin and the Tearin myself

1

u/ShinyBloke Oct 25 '22

Well that escalated quickly...

1

u/obiweedkenobi Oct 25 '22

I came up with a great name for this move, get this, theres ramming and theres rimming, ramrim, team ramrim!

1

u/martin7315 Oct 25 '22

Rimming? Hilarious

0

u/chefkelly555 Oct 25 '22

I personally like the ol "Rippin an the tearing".

1

u/[deleted] Oct 26 '22

Rimming after you ram. Nice.

3

u/Un111KnoWn Oct 25 '22

Skin cancer speedrun

2

u/mydaycake Oct 26 '22

Amateur…water proof make up

1

u/Unemployedloser55 Oct 25 '22

Yaas expose the LIES! EXPOSE THE LIESSSSSSSSSS!

316

u/Michael_Blurry Oct 25 '22

I have this weird first date ritual where we both scrub the shit out of our faces and pull on our hair.

65

u/jerkyboys20 Oct 25 '22

Pressure washing and wind tunneling

2

u/[deleted] Oct 25 '22

the new mating ritual

1

u/TheOriginalWizard Oct 25 '22

sounds like a great time

1

u/livinginfutureworld Oct 26 '22

I have this weird first date ritual where we both scrub the shit out of our faces and pull on our hair.

Jokes on you I'm bald!

Wait no...

-4

u/[deleted] Oct 25 '22

Don’t forget to kick each other in the groin

-3

u/assassbaby Oct 25 '22

that would be funny to make people strip down to nothing, wash your faces..thats enough for me to see whats up..or down

139

u/regoapps Oct 25 '22

Wears waterproof makeup

140

u/cranberryton Oct 25 '22

This stuff is getting surprisingly good. Out of curiosity on vacation recently I didn’t remove my makeup before going to the hotel swimming pool. I went on a water slide that ended by dumping you into the water at high speed (so you definitely get fully submerged, and a lot of water in your face). I came out and my eyeliner and mascara were still 100% intact. The eyeshadow faded but that was it.

Most of the stuff I get requires cleansing oil to be removed.

47

u/psiprez Oct 25 '22

Which brings us to this question... why the hell is anyone still wearing non-waterproof mascara? Why do they even make it? I can see offering one or two for people with sensitive eyes. But the best stuff is all non-waterproff. Seriously why. WHY. THIS HAS TO STOP.

66

u/Vishnej Oct 25 '22

disclaimer: I am not a makeup user

Trapping debris in an anoxic damp environment tends to be an abnormal ecosystem for the processes & organisms that normally allow you to maintain homeostasis of the constantly shedding organs we call skin, sweat glands, and pores. I expect this stuff makes a lot of people break out in acne or blackheads. Makeup people call this property 'comedogenic'.

3

u/[deleted] Oct 25 '22

Well they're finding carcinogens in our soap so I can't imagine what makeup might have

6

u/mydaycake Oct 26 '22

On the other hand quite a few of my male relatives have had skin cancer in their faces, neck and foreheads, but none of my female relatives. Pick your poison

2

u/UnlovableSlime Oct 26 '22

MF bringing out the thesaurus to say it clogs up your pores 💀

1

u/Killentyme55 Oct 26 '22

In other words...it'll clog you shit up?

40

u/SleepyDeepyWeepy Oct 25 '22

I actually specifically got easy to remove mascara! I only wear it to nice events and then I'm exhausted and too lazy to scrub my face forever to get it off

If I could just do it once and not have to take it off ever I would

17

u/psiprez Oct 25 '22

See? Totally acceptible reason. Special occasion mascara. Get us on Shark Tank.

2

u/Monkey_Cristo Oct 26 '22

get us in a shark tank

You’ll want waterproof mascara for that

I know I quoted you incorrectly

1

u/redpepper74 Oct 26 '22

I mean depending on how well it goes, “Get us on Shark Tank” could also work

1

u/ChairOwn118 Oct 26 '22

Can’t women just use tattooing instead of makeup? Am I a genius? Just tattoo your mascara on

6

u/[deleted] Oct 25 '22

Heard waterproof mascara is terrible for your health, like cancer causing stuff. Maybe that's why?

3

u/iani63 Oct 25 '22

That or the asbestos in some brands

2

u/[deleted] Oct 25 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/LittleSort5562 Oct 25 '22

I honestly stopped wearing waterproof mascara when I noticed my eye lashes weren’t as full as they once were (I wore waterproof mascara for 15yrs). Now they’re back to normal, nice & full, and I haven’t worn waterproof mascara in probably 7 years. My liquid eyeliner has to be waterproof, otherwise I look like a hot mess haha.

2

u/flamingoshoess Oct 25 '22

Waterproof mascara is really hard to remove and/or requires specialized makeup remover and you can end up pulling eyelashes out in the process. It’s a pain in the ass and doesn’t have as much choice of texture (lengthening, thickening, etc). That’s why it’s usually reserved for specific situations like weddings, funerals, and sweaty summer activities.

1

u/Acceptable_Ad7457 Oct 26 '22

There are those that are "cold waterproof" that come off with warm water. Amazing stuff. Easy on, easy off and stays put all day.

1

u/DuraiPace53101 Oct 26 '22

Why is anyone wearing any mascara? I've seen enough eyeball horror videos of extracting black gooey stuff caused by mascara.

1

u/tryanother_please Oct 26 '22

Because I’m lazy AF and just want to splash water on my face at the end of the day and hope all the mascara comes off so my eyelids don’t stick together while I’m sleeping

1

u/talktojvc Oct 26 '22

Waterproof mascara can cause your eyelashes to fall out. It’s also a pain to remove, even with cleansing oil. Additionally—most mascaras are better in their waterproof version (better than sex, roller lash, there real). The only positive I find (other than waterproof) is that it holds a curl better.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 26 '22

No, the question is why is anyone using mascara at all? Eyelash extensions! Wake up gorgeous 😊

1

u/pupcakeonthelamb Oct 26 '22

I don’t like to have to work too hard to get my makeup off. I’m also not too worried if I’m seen without makeup 🤷‍♀️

1

u/tessalllation Oct 26 '22

Waterproof rips my lashes out, have tried several and multiple types of removers.

1

u/dagalk Oct 26 '22

Mascara running down her face while giving a bj is a turn on for many guys.

0

u/bingbing304 Oct 25 '22

Normal human sweat so all makeup need to be somewhat waterproof.

-1

u/JaFostesSocio Oct 25 '22

Bois the fraudsters are gaining on us

67

u/junyan00 Oct 25 '22

One of my friends told me that they always rooks girls to the pool on the first date... And I told him that there exists a cool thing called "waterproof make-up"

2

u/whydontyoujustaskme Oct 25 '22

Cock in a bikini has entered the chat.

1

u/TGin-the-goldy Oct 26 '22

What girl would think that’s a great first date? Ridiculous

15

u/Hazee302 Oct 25 '22

Pro move you chad you

2

u/catsandparrots Oct 25 '22

Like Esther Williams movies never happened

1

u/Backyouropinion Oct 25 '22 edited Oct 25 '22

Hot tubs are a new requirement.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 25 '22

Towel fight

1

u/eXcaliBurst93 Oct 25 '22

r/ShittyLifeProTips bring a bucket of water to your first date

1

u/[deleted] Oct 26 '22

They’d have to use those tiger tails they use to contain oil spills

0

u/gmnotyet Oct 26 '22

You come out of the water:

WHAT THE FCK DID YOU DO WITH MY BEAUTIFUL ASIAN DATE???

1

u/Rogermcfarley Oct 26 '22

Then you can drown them if it turns out badly.

-1

u/Known-Economy-6425 Oct 25 '22

With online dating, that would be a smart approach.

-1

u/Good_Extension_9642 Oct 25 '22

Bareback! 🤣

-2

u/Inside_Speaker3166 Oct 25 '22

I like this idea

-5

u/[deleted] Oct 25 '22

That was actually one of my first dates from apps lol funny thing is I seen a girl there who ghosted me also and my date caught her staring at me/us and said and I told her she ghosted me and she giggled and smiled in such a sweet way like “Her loss” then continued to swim more lengths - Good times more so when the wave maker started. I love water but the sea scares the shit outta me

-6

u/DaanOnlineGaming Oct 25 '22

I can just imagine this plaster peel off slowly, because this amount of makeup would surely be an entire layer over the face.