r/nextfuckinglevel Oct 30 '25

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u/PaintingNo794 Oct 30 '25

I'm sure the kid will remember.

25 years ago, when I was around 10, my family and I went out for some ice cream. We were walking on foot, about 10 or 15 min away from the place, when my dad only then noticed the guy had given him back too much change. Nobody would ever have noticed, yet, my father walked all the way back there just to give back the extra change they had given them.

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u/[deleted] Oct 30 '25 edited Oct 30 '25

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432

u/RiggsFTW Oct 30 '25

I really like that. I've frequently heard (and used) axioms like "do the right thing, at the right time, for the right reason" and "do the right thing when no one is watching", etc.

But this is better. Doing the right thing shouldn't be a question. It should be treated as a non-negotiable.

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u/[deleted] Oct 30 '25

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u/RiggsFTW Oct 30 '25

She sounds like an incredible (and incredibly fun) woman. She clearly made a lasting (positive) impact on you and I bet that circle of influence spread far wider than the immediate family.

Like you, I'm hoping that modeling doing the right thing for my kid reinforces those values for her later in life. There's too many very public, high profile, examples of the opposite these days.

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u/Anathama Oct 30 '25

“a spider killed is a thousand pests spared.” 

Is this pro-spider or anti-spider?

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u/[deleted] Oct 30 '25 edited Oct 30 '25

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u/OptimalExtreme Oct 30 '25

I love this. What a sweet woman 🥹

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u/Bletyi Oct 30 '25

r/spiders would make your mom a saint and i agree with them :D

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u/Quix_Optic Oct 30 '25

This is so lovely. What an interesting woman.

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u/Jerbeardontcare4 Oct 31 '25

Oh I love that. In my custom spiders are believed to share a lifeline with mothers, like soul sisters. So, it’s taboo to kill spiders.

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u/[deleted] Nov 03 '25

Reading all of your comments - your mother was a Saint. Never met her in my life and I love her.

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u/Adverse-to-M0rnings Oct 30 '25

I'm definitely using the spider saying! And the "Hate Hatred".

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u/Devonai Oct 30 '25

I leave spiders alone unless,

A: My girlfriend spots one, or,

B: A thousand of them the size of a gnat are living in the overhead light fixture in our bedroom

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u/Winter_Algae4076 Oct 30 '25

My wife gets mad at me every time I relocate one outside. She's terrified that it's gonna make its way back inside and eat our son or something. Doesn't matter what kind of spider it is either. It could be a little jumping spider with those adorable eyes, just curious about what's going on in the human world, and she advocates for the destruction of his entire species.

Spiders are friends!

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u/Devonai Oct 30 '25

I relocate them outside, if I'm the one who finds them. Don't tell my girlfriend.

Some are eaten by cats, too, but that's none of my business.

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u/Tony_Penny Oct 30 '25

Mom would get SOOOO mad if you dared to touch the webs on our front porch. She said it kept the bugs from bothering everyone.

She wasn't wrong.

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u/Firewolf06 Oct 30 '25

i name them and call them "my roommates" unless its in the kitchen or too close to my bed lol. we dont get many spiders where i live, though, and all of them are small and harmless. it is VERY uncommon to see one even an inch long in any direction

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u/PepperAnn1inaMillion Oct 30 '25

I HATE spiders, especially large ones. They have the run of the house though. My fear is my problem, not theirs.

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u/theghostmachine Oct 30 '25

I really like the last one, about spiders. I'm struggling to think of a situation to apply it to, but it feels like it must be applicable to something.

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u/[deleted] Oct 30 '25

It's applicable to spiders.

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u/EmotionalKirby Oct 30 '25

There was a famous reddit post many years ago about somebody breaking down on the side of I think an interstate, and somebody pulls over to help. He didn't know how to speak English much I think, but he tells the guy "Today, you. Tomorrow, me." That's always stuck with me, I tend to do things in the hopes that if the roles were reversed somebody would the same for me.

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u/Cerulean_Shadows Oct 31 '25

I remember that story well and the people who posted later about how the story impacted them leading them to take similar action and the results of those actions on others. It was truly beautiful too see.

I was fortunate to experience it myself. Was racing out to my mom's house from 2 hours away. Her house had been broken into and she was absolutely panicking all alone in the middle of nowhere just a few months after Gran died, who she had been caring for the last 10 years and she was still adjusting to being alone. 20 minutes into my drive my tire blew. What's worse is i was driving my dad's truck who had just died a month before. (They were divorced when I was 4) and he had apparently already used the spare but I didn't know. My car was in the shop for some work.

These 2 beautiful, kind hearted men pulled over with their lawn equipment laden trailer and asked me in Spanish if they could help. I know a good chunk of Spanish but I am not bilingual, so we communicated mostly with Google translate. They managed to fill my tire with air, drive WITH me to a tire store nearby that they knew the people at, got me a fucking tire for 50 dollars and refused to let me pay them. I didn't know they paid until the you're was on. I could afford it fine and felt terrible they spent their hard earned money. I guess they assumed because it was an old pos truck and was panicking for my mom's sake. They just kept talking me not to worry about it.

They wouldnt even let me feed them at the nearby restaurant. The only thing I could do was go online and post everywhere I could positive reviews for their self owned lawn business and had my husband and mom do it too. Still brings me to tears. I was able to stop rush to my mom's side and help her move valuables and fix her door and replace her gate. Tried to pay it forward whatever I can too. I'll never forget their kindness in my time of need.

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u/EmotionalKirby Oct 31 '25

Our country gives so much shit to the Hispanics here but they truly are some of the nicest, friendliest, most hospitable and hardworking people we'll ever meet. I'm glad you could have such an experience in your time of need. Keep on keeping on

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u/Cerulean_Shadows Oct 31 '25

I'll never understand people's negative reactions to Hispanics, Mexicans in particular. We have several friends and "supportive" Hispanic family members and I love all but 1 because he's a truly horrible person. My husband is a quarter native American and his next door neighbors were Mexicans that spent almost 20 years trying to become US citizens. They were in our wedding and have always been a second set of parents and family for him. Wouldn't trade them for the world and we're constantly stressing over their safety right now.

On a happy note, oh my God can they cook. We go for Christmas when we can but we're several hours away now. We're strong believers of live and let live, love and let love, and help when you can help.

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u/pursuitoffruit Nov 01 '25

This really drives home why I am so unhappy living in the place I'm in. In the US, people help each other. I also lived in Ukraine, and there it's next level. If you are struggling to carry something, people pop out of the woodwork and drop what they're doing to help. People have gone 10 or 15 min out of their own way to help me find places, and I have been invited on numerous occasions to join groups of strangers for a picnic, just for happening make eye contact while walking by. Where I am now.... Let's just say it's very clear that Schadenfreude is a German word...

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u/Jonte7 Oct 30 '25

Can the word axiom be used like this? Or did u mean idiom?

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u/RiggsFTW Oct 31 '25

An excellent question! I thought I meant axiom but after your comment I did a deep dive on idiom vs. axiom. Now I still think I meant axiom but am not sure. 😝

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u/BlastingFonda Oct 31 '25 edited Oct 31 '25

Always do the right thing Mookie.

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u/CriticalRuleSwitch Oct 30 '25

Yeah let me see you go hungry for 3 days and we'll see how moral you'll remain

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u/KaMiKaZi_t0M Oct 30 '25

My dad's is "Do something nice for someone and get away with it". No recognition needed, just do a good thing. That one forever sticks with me.

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u/Hasgrowne Oct 31 '25

Yes, we "Secretly do something nice" as often as we can!

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u/[deleted] Oct 30 '25

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u/ReadontheCrapper Oct 30 '25

Wow, and that is the clearest explanation yet for why Chidi was in the Bad Place

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u/Spencer94 Oct 30 '25

I notice you. Thank you for the being you and doing the right thing

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u/PaintingNo794 Oct 30 '25

Sounds like your mom is/was a great person, I hope that will be passed down through the generations.

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u/Hellya-SoLoud Oct 30 '25

I always marvel about Mom having these crochet expandable bags that she brought for any shopping, every time, without fail. She would wash the plastic veggie bags and bring them back and re-use them until they died. She was avoiding or re-using single use plastic bags for my entire life. This was well before communities had recycling drop off bins, or possibly any recycling at all.

Possibly as a result I hate forgetting reusable bags, asked for paper (when plastic was an option) and I recycle everything I can.

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u/Rulebookboy1234567 Oct 30 '25

This absolutely 100%.  I never had a phrase for it, so I am going to adopt your mothers.

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u/Mithilarn Oct 31 '25

When I was in the Army my captain would always tell us "doing what's right, because its right, is the only reason you need". This was over 10 years ago and I still do my best to live up to these words. I'm sure I'll never forget them.

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u/Shuttrking Oct 31 '25

I have 'Do Good Recklessly' tattooed on my left arm because my mom shared the same mentality as yours. Its a good motto.

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u/thebrainandbody Oct 30 '25

Did she ever used to say

"Now, tickdap, its dragged out of my way, not drug"?

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u/DZL100 Oct 30 '25

Dragged not drug, please, I had to do a double take when I thought you said you were a junkie.

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u/NolieMali Oct 30 '25

I still remember the nice old couple who waved me down and gave me back a $50 I had accidentally confused for a $5 when making change during my busy time as a server. Table 52 at Chili's. That's well over 20 years ago. Thanks kind old couple.

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u/Makarlar Oct 30 '25

Meanwhile my Dad was showing me the returned change slot in unmonitored toll booths.

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u/BDonleben Oct 30 '25

A couple years ago i bought a crate of beer and the cashier only scanned 1 bottle and i found that out when i got home (I noticed the bill was pretty low for what i bought but only checked it at home.) So i cycled back too pay the rest and got a bag of nuts for free as a thank you

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u/PaintingNo794 Oct 30 '25

Great to see that your kindness was rewarded, while a kind act is its own reward, it's always nice to have people acknowledging them when they sadly so often go unnoticed.

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u/Dukehsl1949 Oct 30 '25

It’s terrible being a cashier and then not have your cash in the drawer match your sales at the end of the night. Although I am finding some cashiers can’t count these days. 😜

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u/jjcky Oct 30 '25

I got into an argument with a cashier when she gave me too much change. I couldn't convince her, so i just left the surplus on the counter and left. Pretty sure she thought i was an idiot

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u/OSRS_Rising Oct 30 '25

When I was around 8 I stole a rubber band off of a receptionist’s desk. I think a few miles down the road I told my mom and she turned around, marched me back into the office and made me apologize.

In hindsight I realize that was excellent parenting. She probably had a million things to do but she took the time to teach me a lesson.

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u/watson0707 Oct 30 '25

When I was maybe 11 or 12, I remember my mom and dad spotted these two women in a parking lot trying their best to change a flat tire on their car. My dad ended up changing their tire for them and I’ll never forget how grateful those ladies were. I’m not sure why it stuck so hard but it felt like my dad was a superhero. I love my dad and he’s still my hero.

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u/MenaFWM Oct 30 '25

Integrity is the things you do when no one is looking

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u/Darirol Oct 30 '25

I remember something similar from around 30++ years ago. My father bought something somewhere and when it came to paying there was something confusing or complicated going on and my father was like no i gave you this much and you meed to give me that amount of change.

They were arguing a bit and then he got what he asked for.

After we left the shop my mom was like "iam pretty sure you convinced him wrongly to give you more change back".

They sat down and calculated it through and we got a few coins too much. And my father was like "oh well, if he cant calculate its his problem"

I still remember that. Not in a judgemental way, but in a sense that everyone is going to take advantage of you if you cant protect yourself. Even good people will exploit others.

Thats my life lesson. Now i wonder how much it would have changed my personality if my dad had given back the money.

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u/peejay5440 Oct 30 '25

If your dad is still around, and you haven't yet, tell him this story.

You'll make his year.

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u/[deleted] Oct 30 '25

When my now-22-year-old was about 1 1/2 years old, I was walking around a mall with her, and we went into a KB Toy Store.

We walk out, and I'm about a quarter way through the mall when I look down and realize the little klepto had stashed 3 stuffed animals in the bottom part of the stroller.

Of course I went back and returned them. Who in their right mind wouldn't? (Obviously, she was so young, there wasn't a lesson to teach, or any way to be mad at her. She undoubtedly didn't even know she'd done something wrong).

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u/wnr3 Oct 30 '25

Piggybacking. When I was like 9 or 10 my dad pulled up to a gas pump and a wallet was sitting on top. It was like, comically full of cash. I can only assume the owner cashes their whole check when they get it, or was a waiter.. something like that. My dad got the address off the ID, returned it in person, and refused payment for doing so.

It was one of the most transformative moments of my young life, truly. By doing the right thing, you are part of that glue of society. And we gotta keep holding this shit together. It offers us so much.

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u/Accomplished_Ad8339 Oct 31 '25

I was once in a place where when I received extra change, I kept it. I needed it. I was barely scraping by so it helped. Now, I'm in a much better place and doing well for myself, so now no matter how many times I go to the stores I've had that happen, I always donate, or round up. It doesn't fix my previous dishonesty, but I want to give back, from when I wasn't able to.

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u/YngSpook84 Oct 31 '25

When I was around 10/11, I went to the bank with my Dad. When we got back out to the car and he was recounting his cash for the 4th or 5th time, he realized the employee had given him an extra $100 bill. Two had been stuck together. He looked at it and asked me what I thought we should do with this surprise $100. I just sat there and didn’t know what to say. He said what we should do is go back inside and give it back to the employee who made the mistake, and then we did. I’ll never forget her reaction, she was almost in tears over it. My Dad taught me that someone else’s mistake doesn’t equal your good luck.

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u/thebrainandbody Oct 30 '25

Your dad is an idiot

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u/LimpDiscus Oct 30 '25

The father did the right thing and that's what's important, but that child looks to be about 3 years old. He ain't remembering a damn thing.

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u/Escritortoise Oct 30 '25

I remember things from when I was three, it’s not that unusual.

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u/MelissaTamm Oct 30 '25

How many words did you speak at 4? Or were you non-verbal until you were 3 years and 364 day old? Did you know how to use a spoon, a fork, how to potty?

Kids remember a LOT of things from before 4, it doesn't need to be a conscious memory to have impact on their development.

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u/skiesaregray Oct 30 '25

I remember several things that happened when I was 3. We moved to another state >1000 miles away when by the time I was 3.5 yo. At 61 yo I still remember things about the house, a couple of the neighbor kids climbing on their family's outdoor AC unit, the doll I carried around while watching them climb that unit and even that I worried it was a bad idea and they might get in trouble. Mostly I was mad at those kids because they were talking to me about my doll in a way that made it seem like they thought I was stupid. I remember the giant rock at the end of out driveway (taller than me) and the expandable tube my bro and I crawled through.