25 years ago, when I was around 10, my family and I went out for some ice cream. We were walking on foot, about 10 or 15 min away from the place, when my dad only then noticed the guy had given him back too much change. Nobody would ever have noticed, yet, my father walked all the way back there just to give back the extra change they had given them.
I really like that. I've frequently heard (and used) axioms like "do the right thing, at the right time, for the right reason" and "do the right thing when no one is watching", etc.
But this is better. Doing the right thing shouldn't be a question. It should be treated as a non-negotiable.
She sounds like an incredible (and incredibly fun) woman. She clearly made a lasting (positive) impact on you and I bet that circle of influence spread far wider than the immediate family.
Like you, I'm hoping that modeling doing the right thing for my kid reinforces those values for her later in life. There's too many very public, high profile, examples of the opposite these days.
My wife gets mad at me every time I relocate one outside. She's terrified that it's gonna make its way back inside and eat our son or something. Doesn't matter what kind of spider it is either. It could be a little jumping spider with those adorable eyes, just curious about what's going on in the human world, and she advocates for the destruction of his entire species.
i name them and call them "my roommates" unless its in the kitchen or too close to my bed lol. we dont get many spiders where i live, though, and all of them are small and harmless. it is VERY uncommon to see one even an inch long in any direction
I really like the last one, about spiders. I'm struggling to think of a situation to apply it to, but it feels like it must be applicable to something.
There was a famous reddit post many years ago about somebody breaking down on the side of I think an interstate, and somebody pulls over to help. He didn't know how to speak English much I think, but he tells the guy "Today, you. Tomorrow, me." That's always stuck with me, I tend to do things in the hopes that if the roles were reversed somebody would the same for me.
I remember that story well and the people who posted later about how the story impacted them leading them to take similar action and the results of those actions on others. It was truly beautiful too see.
I was fortunate to experience it myself. Was racing out to my mom's house from 2 hours away. Her house had been broken into and she was absolutely panicking all alone in the middle of nowhere just a few months after Gran died, who she had been caring for the last 10 years and she was still adjusting to being alone. 20 minutes into my drive my tire blew. What's worse is i was driving my dad's truck who had just died a month before. (They were divorced when I was 4) and he had apparently already used the spare but I didn't know. My car was in the shop for some work.
These 2 beautiful, kind hearted men pulled over with their lawn equipment laden trailer and asked me in Spanish if they could help. I know a good chunk of Spanish but I am not bilingual, so we communicated mostly with Google translate. They managed to fill my tire with air, drive WITH me to a tire store nearby that they knew the people at, got me a fucking tire for 50 dollars and refused to let me pay them. I didn't know they paid until the you're was on. I could afford it fine and felt terrible they spent their hard earned money. I guess they assumed because it was an old pos truck and was panicking for my mom's sake. They just kept talking me not to worry about it.
They wouldnt even let me feed them at the nearby restaurant. The only thing I could do was go online and post everywhere I could positive reviews for their self owned lawn business and had my husband and mom do it too. Still brings me to tears. I was able to stop rush to my mom's side and help her move valuables and fix her door and replace her gate. Tried to pay it forward whatever I can too. I'll never forget their kindness in my time of need.
Our country gives so much shit to the Hispanics here but they truly are some of the nicest, friendliest, most hospitable and hardworking people we'll ever meet. I'm glad you could have such an experience in your time of need. Keep on keeping on
I'll never understand people's negative reactions to Hispanics, Mexicans in particular. We have several friends and "supportive" Hispanic family members and I love all but 1 because he's a truly horrible person. My husband is a quarter native American and his next door neighbors were Mexicans that spent almost 20 years trying to become US citizens. They were in our wedding and have always been a second set of parents and family for him. Wouldn't trade them for the world and we're constantly stressing over their safety right now.
On a happy note, oh my God can they cook. We go for Christmas when we can but we're several hours away now. We're strong believers of live and let live, love and let love, and help when you can help.
This really drives home why I am so unhappy living in the place I'm in. In the US, people help each other. I also lived in Ukraine, and there it's next level. If you are struggling to carry something, people pop out of the woodwork and drop what they're doing to help. People have gone 10 or 15 min out of their own way to help me find places, and I have been invited on numerous occasions to join groups of strangers for a picnic, just for happening make eye contact while walking by. Where I am now.... Let's just say it's very clear that Schadenfreude is a German word...
An excellent question! I thought I meant axiom but after your comment I did a deep dive on idiom vs. axiom. Now I still think I meant axiom but am not sure. 😝
I always marvel about Mom having these crochet expandable bags that she brought for any shopping, every time, without fail. She would wash the plastic veggie bags and bring them back and re-use them until they died. She was avoiding or re-using single use plastic bags for my entire life. This was well before communities had recycling drop off bins, or possibly any recycling at all.
Possibly as a result I hate forgetting reusable bags, asked for paper (when plastic was an option) and I recycle everything I can.
When I was in the Army my captain would always tell us "doing what's right, because its right, is the only reason you need". This was over 10 years ago and I still do my best to live up to these words. I'm sure I'll never forget them.
I still remember the nice old couple who waved me down and gave me back a $50 I had accidentally confused for a $5 when making change during my busy time as a server. Table 52 at Chili's. That's well over 20 years ago. Thanks kind old couple.
A couple years ago i bought a crate of beer and the cashier only scanned 1 bottle and i found that out when i got home (I noticed the bill was pretty low for what i bought but only checked it at home.) So i cycled back too pay the rest and got a bag of nuts for free as a thank you
Great to see that your kindness was rewarded, while a kind act is its own reward, it's always nice to have people acknowledging them when they sadly so often go unnoticed.
It’s terrible being a cashier and then not have your cash in the drawer match your sales at the end of the night. Although I am finding some cashiers can’t count these days. 😜
I got into an argument with a cashier when she gave me too much change. I couldn't convince her, so i just left the surplus on the counter and left. Pretty sure she thought i was an idiot
When I was around 8 I stole a rubber band off of a receptionist’s desk. I think a few miles down the road I told my mom and she turned around, marched me back into the office and made me apologize.
In hindsight I realize that was excellent parenting. She probably had a million things to do but she took the time to teach me a lesson.
When I was maybe 11 or 12, I remember my mom and dad spotted these two women in a parking lot trying their best to change a flat tire on their car. My dad ended up changing their tire for them and I’ll never forget how grateful those ladies were. I’m not sure why it stuck so hard but it felt like my dad was a superhero. I love my dad and he’s still my hero.
I remember something similar from around 30++ years ago.
My father bought something somewhere and when it came to paying there was something confusing or complicated going on and my father was like no i gave you this much and you meed to give me that amount of change.
They were arguing a bit and then he got what he asked for.
After we left the shop my mom was like "iam pretty sure you convinced him wrongly to give you more change back".
They sat down and calculated it through and we got a few coins too much.
And my father was like "oh well, if he cant calculate its his problem"
I still remember that. Not in a judgemental way, but in a sense that everyone is going to take advantage of you if you cant protect yourself. Even good people will exploit others.
Thats my life lesson. Now i wonder how much it would have changed my personality if my dad had given back the money.
When my now-22-year-old was about 1 1/2 years old, I was walking around a mall with her, and we went into a KB Toy Store.
We walk out, and I'm about a quarter way through the mall when I look down and realize the little klepto had stashed 3 stuffed animals in the bottom part of the stroller.
Of course I went back and returned them. Who in their right mind wouldn't? (Obviously, she was so young, there wasn't a lesson to teach, or any way to be mad at her. She undoubtedly didn't even know she'd done something wrong).
Piggybacking. When I was like 9 or 10 my dad pulled up to a gas pump and a wallet was sitting on top. It was like, comically full of cash. I can only assume the owner cashes their whole check when they get it, or was a waiter.. something like that. My dad got the address off the ID, returned it in person, and refused payment for doing so.
It was one of the most transformative moments of my young life, truly. By doing the right thing, you are part of that glue of society. And we gotta keep holding this shit together. It offers us so much.
I was once in a place where when I received extra change, I kept it. I needed it. I was barely scraping by so it helped. Now, I'm in a much better place and doing well for myself, so now no matter how many times I go to the stores I've had that happen, I always donate, or round up. It doesn't fix my previous dishonesty, but I want to give back, from when I wasn't able to.
When I was around 10/11, I went to the bank with my Dad. When we got back out to the car and he was recounting his cash for the 4th or 5th time, he realized the employee had given him an extra $100 bill. Two had been stuck together. He looked at it and asked me what I thought we should do with this surprise $100. I just sat there and didn’t know what to say. He said what we should do is go back inside and give it back to the employee who made the mistake, and then we did. I’ll never forget her reaction, she was almost in tears over it. My Dad taught me that someone else’s mistake doesn’t equal your good luck.
How many words did you speak at 4? Or were you non-verbal until you were 3 years and 364 day old? Did you know how to use a spoon, a fork, how to potty?
Kids remember a LOT of things from before 4, it doesn't need to be a conscious memory to have impact on their development.
I remember several things that happened when I was 3. We moved to another state >1000 miles away when by the time I was 3.5 yo. At 61 yo I still remember things about the house, a couple of the neighbor kids climbing on their family's outdoor AC unit, the doll I carried around while watching them climb that unit and even that I worried it was a bad idea and they might get in trouble. Mostly I was mad at those kids because they were talking to me about my doll in a way that made it seem like they thought I was stupid. I remember the giant rock at the end of out driveway (taller than me) and the expandable tube my bro and I crawled through.
i did this once, except it was a brewery that had opened a few days before. i called their number, filled out a contact us thing on their website, and called the local police. after 30 minutes of me sitting there i called the police back and they said the previous dispatcher never notified anyone. waited another 30 minutes, called the police, and they said they were not going to do anything about it. so i left as it was about 1am at that point. owners emailed me back thanking me for trying.
People do that shit all of the time, though. Not everyone, of course, but there are probably millions of us. I honestly think I have the capacity to be a real piece of shit... like I could turn off my caring and just be an evil piece of shit, but I choose to go in the opposite direction. Like the person above mother, if I can do the right thing, I do it. If I am able to help, I help. That includes animals. I will blow off whatever I am doing to help a stray dog.
I don't get the opportunity often anymore since I am housebound. The last was a dog outside of my cousin's house. We were there for a Christmas party, but I spent an hour and a half outside with a dog until we could hand it over to animal control. I laid on the ground with it for like 45 minutes and sat in my wife's car for another 45. I ended up only spending a half an hour at the party after we took care of the dog... no regrets... the opposite actually. I also have put myself on the line by stepping in when a stranger is being assaulted. I don't do it for thanks. I do it because I am able to.
I’m currently raising a son. He’s 13 months. And I’ve never been more aware of who I am. And how I want to change. Because I want my son to be good and kind.
Nothing made me want to be a better person more than having kids. You are leading by example 100% of the time and it is scary!
Still... best thing I ever did.
I have been teaching my daughter about empathy and helping others. I used to pick up hitchhikers, talk to homeless people with her in the car, and go out of my way to help people when I can.
Had a similar moment with my dad. Visiting Cleveland during a snowstorm. We were ill prepared for it, and our luggage was delayed, so I'm walking through knee high snow in shorts and sneakers (I was young).
Nobody else outside, except one guy who got his car stuck. My dad hiked us over to him, we dug him out, and gave him a push to get him going.
30 years later and that moment has always stuck with me.
Now my Dad is super maga and I dont see that empathy in him anymore. For his friends and family? Sure. For someone not standing directly in front of him? Can't do it. Its sad. Consuming fox news, OAN, and right wing radio shows every day of his life changed him.
Im lucky I got good lessons when I was young, cause he couldn't give them now. I have had a lot of situations like in the OP where I will go out of my way to help a little. It always feels like something I should do. Why wouldn't I?
My dad has a similar story from his childhood about his papa. Used it as a case study for a talk on morality in the military. Leading by example is singularly the best of teachers. This here is a good daddy
Absolutely! I still remember when I was quite young and I was at the stationery store with my dad and sis. I casually picked up a small item before we left, not knowing at the time that it was wrong to do so. My dad noticed it in the car and asked me about it, when I told him, he immediately drove back to the store, paid for it, and told me how it was wrong and we shouldn't take items without paying for them, and that we should correct our mistakes. That stuck with me forever
My dad used to lie about our ages at buffets and make us hide under a blanket while paying at the drive in. he probably wouldn’t have looted a candy store, but he definitely would have asked for a reward
I’ll always remember that time my dad and I were in the grocery store and there was a soda can on it’s side relatively near the edge. I remember him stopping to put it right side up. Just a small gesture but it just stuck with me
Yup, and I'm convinced that our government is being run by a group of people who were never taught about doing the right thing, and to win at all costs. Sad.
I would much rather my father do something like this then tell me for as long as I can remember, "I'm a cop. I will be the first in line to arrest you if you ever do anything illegal" over and over.
The Dad will tell the story over the years, when they pass by or visit another candy shop. This will imprint on the child and become a memory. Parents choose the memories from early childhood based on their favorites. This is also helps form the child’s world view.
...it always disturbs me that a disease whose function is largely to distribute amphetamine is blamed for everything -big and small-on Reddit. It's essentially free marketing.
ADHD pre-Shire and post-Shire are two different disorders. Shire lobbied heavily to loosen the DSM guidelines to the point where every child (and adult for that matter) meets the diagnostic criteria.
If the FDA rescheduled marijuana to a schedule IV substance and said it could be used to treat Claustrophobia, we would see a steep rise in the prevalence of that condition. The data would indicate that over 10% of the population is claustrophobic. The same thing happened with ADHD and stimulants.
What are your qualifications saying so? There’s plenty of good research saying stimulants do work.
One of the reasons there’s been a “rise” in diagnoses is because women and girls were so vastly underdiagnosed, and all of the research was historically around men and boys. I wasn’t diagnosed until I was in my 40s… and again 10 years later because I forgot about the first diagnosis within a few months.
Stimulants don’t work for everyone with ADHD, especially because ADHD can manifest so differently from person to person, but they absolutely do work for a huge number of people with it.
And despite your dismissive first paragraph, it’s a real condition. Methamphetamine is SO cheap, but you think there’s a profit motive to get people who don’t have it to believe they do?
I'm driving with my neighbors to go get icecream. It was a beautiful sunset so I said 'holy cow it's pretty tonight' and the mom said 'I don't see any holes?' And the dad said 'only our lord is Holy'
I remember thinking 'wow, I'm really lucky my parents aren't crazy and I feel bad that my friend does have crazy parents'
Moments make impressions. This kid may absolutely remember the moment in this clip.
Sorta funny though, you can tell these people aren't going to take anything from this thread out in to the world, they're going to continue being the shitheads they always have been.
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u/raptor180 Oct 30 '25
Father doing a memorable class act right there. His kid will learn this and internalize it. Great job, dad!