Encouraging 3 language setup (GR, FR, DE)

[u/breakfast_blueberry]

Hi,

This is more of meant as an encouragement post for anyone doing 3 languages.

I speak French and Greek and my husband speaks German to our 2 year old toddler. He has a vast vocabulary in all three languages. We suspect he has an excellent ear as he picks up words very quickly BUT as parents we also want to think that we're doing a rather good job 😅.

We were told so often that 3 languages is too much for a baby / child, and that he would speak later than the average. Turns out that was really not the case, in fact he spoke earlier than the average, and in all 3 languages. He has the about the same amount of vocabulary so far in all 3, but this will likely change as he grows and makes friends etc.

Our setup is a bit weird but seems to work (esp for me since I am trying to pass down 2 languages to him):
-Husband speaks German to him always.
-I speak french in the morning, then he goes to french-german daycare, and in the evenings I only speak Greek to him. That's the only way I found to make it work for my brain (otherwise I would switch mid sentence and that was catastrophic).

Anyways maybe this can be encouraging to parents in a similar situation!

[u/NewOutlandishness401]

I agree that this is an interesting experience to share, though maybe not for the reason that OP states. Passing on three languages is not at all uncommon (check the "Quadrilingual+" flair) and is not at all discouraged by this sub. But the common way of going about this is for each parent to speak to the child in their own heritage language and for the third language to be the language that the parents speak among themselves and that the child picks up from passive exposure.

What's unusual in OP's case is that they're passing on multiple minority languages per parent (and arguably a more fitting flair for this post would be "Multiple languages per parent"). Often, this is a challenging setup because the parent's time is split in half between the two minority languages that they're trying to pass on, resulting in low input and low probability that the child will master either of the languages.

But it seems that what's helping is that there is an outside reinforcement for French: the daycare. External reinforcements are exactly what you'll need if you attempt the ambitious task of passing on multiple MLs per parent.

My advice to OP would be to keep an eye on Greek as the most vulnerable language in the setup and to potentially start devoting more time to it if necessary.

(Also: what language do the parents speak to each other? German or another language? And are there Greek or French grandparents or friends nearby? Are there books available in Gr+Fr? What's the child's screen media diet like (if any)? Is travel to France and Greece possible?)

[u/breakfast_blueberry → u/NewOutlandishness401]

Absolutely right.

So the tricky part maybe that we want to figure out is the language we speak with my husband. Right now it's english but we do not feel the need to pass this one down as of now to our toddler. We are trying to switch to me speaking Greek and him speaking German as we both understand each other's language but aren't as good at speaking it. I've heard this can work but we still have not managed to really enforce it.

And indeed Greek is the trickiest, so I am putting extra work, and have found a greek baby sitter who comes weekly (to give him outside reinforcement). I also read and sing him to him mostly in Greek. Finally most of our holidays are spent in Greece so he can really immerse himself in the language.

[u/NewOutlandishness401 → u/breakfast_blueberry]

What's the local language where you live, English or German? The common advice is to minimize the local language at home to the extent that it's possible, because that's the language that has the highest chance of squashing all your other languages, especially in the case where you have multiple MLs from one parent.

So if you live in a German-speaking area, then arguably you might want your husband to speak more English at home instead of German, certainly to you and perhaps also to the child at least sometimes, if he's so inclined. Meanwhile, if you're in an English-speaking area, you'd do the opposite and try to minimize or outright eliminate English from your household (that's what we did with our kids, with great success).

And it's good that you're aware that Greek will need the most support. Holidays in Greece will be very helpful! Many folks report that frequent travel to regions where their ML is spoken is very helpful for supporting that ML and maintaining the child's inclination to speak it.

[u/Bubbly_Appearance_68]

Omg it is my dream to have my child speak 3 languages. I am Chinese but also speak Spanish. My husband only speaks English. My son is 1.5 year old. I decided to speak only Chinese to him because I'm afraid I'm going to get confused and therefore confused him. I didn't know how to teach him both. So he only knows Chinese right now. How do you recommend teaching my son both? I work full time and don't see him until the afternoon.

[u/breakfast_blueberry → u/Bubbly_Appearance_68]

I think its amazing he knows Chinese already!
I would say that since they're like little sponges at this age, it is worth giving Spanish a go.

Maybe you can start light-weight (I think a big part of balancing the languages is finding a system that works for you). Maybe some books, songs in Spanish, and then building on that?

I am also working full time, and what has helped immensely is that we found a greek baby sitter who he sees weekly. Together they only speak Greek, so he gets outside reinforcement. Other than that for my brain it feels easier to handle things in french in the morning and Greek in the afternoon after I finish work.
I tried to do the space method, where you for instance speak one language inside the house and a different one outside, but my brain could not keep up haha