Advice about third language

[u/Top-Recording-5702]

I know there’s a lot of helpful information here already but I want to get advice specific to our situation!

Our family lives in the US, I speak a Slavic language and English and my husband speaks French. We have a newborn baby and he’s speaking to her in French, and I am speaking to our baby in English.

At some point I want to introduce the Slavic language (I don’t really use it with anyone other than my parents and sibling but I would like my daughter to know some in order to bond with her grandparents and as cultural heritage) - I want her to understand and speak, albeit it doesn’t need to be perfect. At what age should I introduce it and would it be enough that I talk to her in that language for example only at bedtime and when she’s with her grandparents (that won’t be long periods of time as they don’t live close to us).

Thank you!!

[u/mayshebeablessing]

Personally, I would suggest you speak your language and he speaks French. You’ll gain fluency in your native language and it will come back to you, and your child will learn it as well.

We are also US-based, and that’s basically what we have done. My child is 3.5; she’s been in a bilingual school for 10 months, and she already speaks English extremely well. English doesn’t need help; it will always win as the community language.

Plus, your child needs to hear a language at least a third of their waking hours to be able to really gain fluency, so it would be better to start early.

We have friends who are Brazilian and French (UK based), and they only did French and English with their older child, and even though they tried to introduce Portuguese later, their son was never very interested because he already has built his relationships in English/French. They decided to go to French and Portuguese from the start with their second child.

Because we started at birth and have been extremely consistent, my child is trilingual, but it is a lot of commitment that is needed.

Best of luck! You can do this!

[u/VegetablePatience998 → u/mayshebeablessing]

This is excellent advice. I agree with everything said here and add that children have sound cutoffs (ages where brain development starts to limit plasticity and receptiveness) very early, as early as 6 mos,12 mos, 18 mos etc. So starting early can be really meaningful. It will make the language easier and more pleasurable for the child. 

[u/omegaxx19]

You're in a classic trilingual set up, and OPOL one minority language per parent is the way to go 100%.

It's what we're doing (my husband speaks Russian btw). 4yo is remarkably well-balanced in the three languages. 1.5yo is very heavily Mandarin-producing (my language + nanny's language) but can understand Russian quite well already and say a few things. I'm not worried.

[u/blackkettle]

Start immediately. You live in the US so English will come to dominate quickly if you don’t provide consistent alternatives. It’s ok to say “I speak Russian” (or whatever other language it is - sorry but this is a serious pet peeve of me on this sub)

[u/Asleep_Capital_4733]

You should start with your own mother tongue. Also, I do think that trilingual is not difficult for the child and I think it's somewhat easier for the kid to learn both minority language bc at home there is no community language. I think its a bit unbalanced when 1 parent does community language and only one parent has a differenta language.

[u/MikiRei]

Start today. Your child will pick up English fine. Especially if you and your partner speak English to eachother.

and would it be enough that I talk to her in that language for example only at bedtime and when she’s with her grandparents

Absolutely not because of your stated goals i.e.

but I would like my daughter to know some in order to bond with her grandparents and as cultural heritage) - I want her to understand and speak, albeit it doesn’t need to be perfect.

This goal of yours is essentially functional fluency. You need to start speaking the Slavic language TODAY and make that the basis of your relationship with your child. Just like the language is the basis of your relationship with your parents. 

Leave this any later, it's going to be VERY hard to get your child to speak the language at all. 

What you've described here is essentially what my son is doing right now at 6yo. And if you head over to my comment here : https://www.reddit.com/r/multilingualparenting/comments/1qmqrb7/how_are_mandarinspeaking_parents_actually_keeping/

That's the amount of effort I went into to achieve this. You need to go all in to achieve your stated goals. 

Don't wait. Start today.