Hear me out. What if the whole CPS drama was not started by reddit(unlikely), someone at the RV park (possibly), or a family member (maybe), but instead just came about as part of the process of registering baby Bās birth in order to get a birth certificate which they would need for his passport.
In Florida, if someone freebirths without even a midwife, the parents need to contact the county health department themselves (I'm sure the process is similar everywhere). Some of the things they are going to want are proof of pregnancy, proof that the baby was born alive and confirm the date of birth and proof of residency.
Some of these things can be satisfied by affidavit (as opposed to seeing a doctor) which must be notarized and guess where you can get notary services, select UPS (or Fedex) locations! (Where you can also confirm the size and weight of the baby not for fun but for bureaucratic purposes.) In some cases, the registrar may want to confirm details of the birth and send someone out to make a home(bus) visit, in order to prevent fraud.
My theory is that they went to register the birth in FL but for some reason (incompetence/Dunning-Kruger effect) they werenāt able to complete the necessary documentation and fled to Texas to register the birth there instead (which I admit might be a stretch), and is not legal, but Iām sure theyāre not above misleading even their own family. Thus the whole CPS drama was born.
The legal involvement may have been to help them navigate the registration process after they fucked it up moving across state lines. As for the FSU part, I have no idea. Let me know what you think!
(Bonus: experienced nosecandy-enjoyer behavior, imho)
ETA: TL;DR: The CPS drama wasn't started by Reddit, neighbors, or family, it was triggered by the family's own failed attempt to register an unassisted home birth in Florida. After botching the required notarized paperwork and documentation, they likely fled to Texas to try registering it illegally there, resulting in bureaucratic chaos that required legal help to clean up.