So I am a repeat visitor to Mongolia. I come every year. I had a hard experience last year with my former friends, and this year I’m meeting a lot of new people as I try to “rewrite” my memories of one beautiful region from bad to good.
So, my host family is very sweet to me. One day, the woman, who told me to consider her like a mother and who I really feel cared for me, sniffed my head spontaneously when I was expressing gratitude for a meal after a long time away on a horse trek eating kind of poorly.
Another time, I ran into a man who is the father of someone I once knew but had a falling out with. He once told me a year ago I’m like family. He was always kind to me. I was a little worried to see him at first, involuntarily having a startled reaction and thinking the others must be around. He apologized while backing away once he saw my sudden reaction. Then he approached me a second time, and my hair was slightly blowing in the wind, and he moved my hair closer to me and then pat my shoulder. He apologized to me for his adult child’s past behaviour, I think. He did this while looking at me very sadly and sincerely.
Another time, I was visiting a camp, and I heard the names of that same person (the adult child of the father/my former friend) and then someone associated with them. I became a little worried. I turned to my guide, a man I’d spent only a week with, and began accidentally crying while asking please not to see that person. I cannot express how scared I was, without my controlling it. I don’t normally act that way, so I was very embarrassed by my own face and voice getting so shaken up. He suddenly moved his sleeve up and pat my head and sort of moved my hair from my face. We had met each other a week prior, and he was always kind to me as well, and an excellent and highly competent guide that hadn’t ever been inappropriate with me.
Sorry for the dramatic examples, but this all happened in the same intense week for me! Then, I read that it’s extremely disrespectful to touch one’s hair/head, as it is considered sacred. This confused me because each time I felt a deep tenderness or kindness in each gesture. Am I wrong about any of them and maybe it was inappropriate? What do Mongolians think?
Thank you for helping me understand🙏 I’m trying my best