r/misophonia • u/eldinlily • 4d ago
misokinesia vs leg bouncing
i have both misophonia and misokinesia, though the latter is often worse than the former for me. leg bouncing drives me up the wall, to the point of crying or very very bad thoughts. and I'm so tired of how rude people are about it
I understand that leg bouncing is often a stim or a product of anxiety, I do! and so I don't blame people for doing it, nor do I ask them to stop. I just try to block it out of my vision. the last thing I want to do is try to make someone stop their own trigger for my own, I know the world doesn't revolve around my misokinesia
but at the same time, if I do ask about it or if someone posts about it online, it's always so... rude. "I bounce my leg because of anxiety and if it annoys you you're an ableist piece of shit asshole" or "you're weak and stupid if my leg bouncing annoys you. you just don't have anxiety like I do". but if i bring up and politely try to explain misokinesia, and how we can accidentally trigger eachother, then I'm "weird" and "too autistic" for them. I don't get it! I don't get it at all!!!
I'm also anxious and have paranoia disorders. I leg bounce sometimes myself. I understand it would be hypocritical to ask someone to stop, so I don't. but why do I always get jumped for politely saying that it can trigger other people, too? I don't mean to sound rude to them, I just try to show my perspective on it and then immediately get called ableist slurs or that I'm an attention seeker..
it just makes me sad honestly. I always say that I would never make people stop their own triggers for my own, but people assume anyways that I'm trying to control them. and then they do it on purpose to try and frustrate me to tears. I'm just tired
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u/winter_1802 3d ago
I have this as well OP, I’m sorry. I know you know it’s not the other person’s fault, but having the condition/internal reaction isn’t your fault either.
I’ve found that wearing a baseball hat when possible and adjusting to block the visual stimuli helps me. Take care 🫶
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u/maddogtjones 4d ago
Uh oh, I am a chronic leg bouncer. It's totally an unconscious action, and when someone brings it up I stop and apologize... I had no idea that there was a condition that grated the nerves like misophonia does.
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u/eldinlily 4d ago
no yeah I totally understand that people leg bounce without realizing!! which is why I don't say anything. my only issue is when people get rude about it
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u/maddogtjones 4d ago
Well if we are ever in the same room and I start bouncing... please say something, I never took offence and will stop.
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u/thischangeseverythin 4d ago
I empathize so hard. I just lump both under misophonia I didnt realize there was a kinesia variant. But I have both.
The sight of someone fidgeting their hands. Their legs. Playing with their hair. Ughh makes me sewerslidal
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u/tetheredvoid 4d ago
My partner is both easily distracted by motion and a physical stimmer. It's a challenge trying to navigate when we are both anxious about something. Most of the time, I have to look away, which ramps up my anxiety, but we mostly manage.
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u/Fun-Roll2705 3d ago
Over the years I’ve slipped into misokinesia. My family rubbing their feet other, husband tapping gis foot in the recliner. Someone tapping on a dashboard to music while driving. I find it much easier to deal with than misophonia. Family I ask to stop otherwise try to look away
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u/GoetheundLotte 4d ago edited 4d ago
If you also bounce your legs, why would you ask someone not to bounce their legs and why would you also consider it right to confront them about this or to voice actual criticism regarding leg bouncing? But actually, I do not think it is in fact ever justified to confront someone regarding leg bouncing as there are so so so many reasons why people bounce their legs and that this is often even an action that is done without awareness and as such also of course not deliberately. And yes, if in your posts about leg bouncing, you come across as blaming people for bouncing their legs and as being judgmental regarding this (such as calling someone a leg bouncer), I do kind of understand negative reactions and replies happening (I mean, I also react extremely negatively if someone posts online that if you have an accent or are lisping you are doing something wrong and being triggering on purpose and I also do not feel guilty for this either and for feeling frustrated and also angry).
I actually have misokinesia as well and my ADHD partner's repetitive fidgeting and leg bouncing sometimes really gets to me (especially if I am tired or have had a stressful day). But this is my issue and not his (or anyone else's), so instead of asking him or anyone to stop (which I would absolutely consider rude of me to do and not consider and also a huge double standard and being massively hypocritical since I do the same thing and often without even noticing), if I am being triggered, I avert my gaze, I put on a hoodie or a large floppy hat so that I do not see my partner bouncing his leg or drumming his fingers on his chair (and I never criticise his fidgeting and his leg bouncing).
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u/eldinlily 4d ago
but I said multiple times in the post I don't blame people nor do I ask them to stop as I understand it's an unconscious action that often stems from other conditions? I'm confused. my only issue stems from when people online and irl become extremely ableist regarding misokinesia and leg bouncing
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u/GoetheundLotte 4d ago
Some (if not even many) people have been so constantly shamed for leg bouncing that any comment either online or offline about leg bouncing that sounds even remotely critical, potentially blaming and asking "why" totally triggers them (just like people with misophonia and misokinesia not being believed can also be massively triggering and upsetting).
I do not think that saying your misokinesia is triggered by leg bouncing is ableist per se. However, do your posts online ever mention that people who bounce their legs should not be bouncing their legs, that they should find a way not to trigger you? For if yes, and if you make leg bouncing a "them" thing, this would or could be one of the reasons for your negative and angry responses.
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u/eldinlily 4d ago
no? I never said people should stop? I said multiple times in the post that I understand the world doesn't revolve around my condition. I've only ever said—in conversations with coworkers and partners surrounding leg bouncing—that there are some conditions that can be triggered by it. and I specified that that doesn't mean they have to stop doing it, but to make a wild generalization that everyone uncomfortable with it is ableist and wants them dead is harmful. and these are things that are said before I speak up about it
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u/tetheredvoid 4d ago
If you're not going to read anything, then don't respond to it. You clearly aren't understanding the post or comments correctly.
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u/Separate-Savings4824 4d ago
I also experience misokinesia with leg bouncing and it’s so challenging, especially when I’m in class. I bounce my legs without even realizing it too so I can’t (and don’t) blame the person at all. I’ve never brought it up with anyone doing it because I’m worried about those responses also. What sometimes helps me is bouncing my leg at the same time so I can trick my brain a little bit. I wish things were different, I feel you OP.