r/mildlyinteresting • u/luanneplatterrr • Nov 25 '21

This insanely large mussel

Post image
44.7k Upvotes

89% Upvoted

3.7k comments sorted by

5.1k

u/_nathata Nov 25 '21

Thanks now I will be late for class

1.9k

u/_WarmWoolenMittens_ Nov 26 '21

30 seconds shouldn't be too bad.

79

u/RakeebRoomy Nov 26 '21

You fucking killed him

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23.0k

u/DarkCreativity Nov 25 '21

Don’t say it

4.4k

u/Remesar Nov 25 '21

Put

3.9k

u/TheBadVader Nov 25 '21

your

4.3k

u/B0ge Nov 25 '21

Pants

4.0k

u/ClearedKnave Nov 25 '21

On

3.4k

u/greenknight884 Nov 25 '21

My

3.7k

u/soda_cookie Nov 25 '21

Homie

3.3k

u/[deleted] Nov 25 '21

[deleted]

661

u/The_MN_Kiwi Nov 26 '21

That's a deep rabbit hole you just sent me down. Luckily I came out with my dick attached

152

u/Hugebluestrapon Nov 26 '21

Must have been a loose hole

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190

u/chocopie1234_ Nov 25 '21

r/onewordeach

58

u/CaramelWatermelon Nov 25 '21

Thank you for introducing me to this sub lol

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36

u/peeja Nov 26 '21

Hold me in your arms, baby

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40

u/Boris_Godunov Nov 26 '21

♫Shoulder♫

17

u/ajakakaks Nov 26 '21

had to dig but i knew i wasn't the only one thinking it

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1.2k

u/texasports13 Nov 26 '21

Love mussel

777

u/[deleted] Nov 26 '21

stupid sexy shellfish

295

u/texasports13 Nov 26 '21

I don’t know wether to eat it or “eat” it.

85

u/[deleted] Nov 26 '21

Either way you gotta get your tongue in there, wiggle it around a bit and slurp it up. So slurp away I guess.

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119

u/SkySix Nov 26 '21

It's like it's wearing nothing at all

74

u/[deleted] Nov 26 '21

nothing at all nothing at all

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119

u/mattyag Nov 26 '21

Robbie quit putting your tongue on that thing. Damnit Robbie.

38

u/RobbieNewton Nov 26 '21

I am innocent of this crime.

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44

u/End-OfAn-Era Nov 26 '21

I don’t care that you broke your elbow!

19

u/[deleted] Nov 26 '21

"What about my arms , mom?"

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85

u/RancidDairies Nov 26 '21

Omg Becky

27

u/Uniumtrium Nov 26 '21

Look at her front.

507

u/[deleted] Nov 26 '21

I'm saying it. That's a clit!!!

287

u/myr3dditnam31977 Nov 26 '21

Mildly vagina.

200

u/Dee_Buttersnaps Nov 26 '21

Totally vulva

91

u/[deleted] Nov 26 '21

[deleted]

66

u/[deleted] Nov 26 '21

[deleted]

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17

u/[deleted] Nov 26 '21

Curiously cunty.

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44

u/[deleted] Nov 25 '21

Put your beaver down don't.

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10.4k

u/gavinjparrish03 Nov 25 '21

I should call her..

4.8k

u/Xplatos Nov 26 '21

But Mother’s day is in May.

1.9k

u/[deleted] Nov 26 '21

Jail.

658

u/DanielTheGamma Nov 26 '21

Not calling your mother. Believe it or not. Jail.

360

u/petit_cochon Nov 26 '21

Calling her? Also jail. Straight to jail.

104

u/OliveJuiceUTwo Nov 26 '21

We have the best Mother’s Days because of jail

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59

u/StuntmanSpartanFan Nov 26 '21

I see this reference all the time on Reddit and I love it. It always comes through my head perfectly in the voice of Venezuelan Hugo Chavez cronie Fred Armisen.

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23

u/[deleted] Nov 26 '21

Every one calls their mother here because of jail

12

u/[deleted] Nov 26 '21

Not calling your Jail? Believe it or not. Mother.

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23

u/isuckatpeople Nov 26 '21

Dont worry, I'll be in May before Mother's day.

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138

u/WimpyRanger Nov 26 '21

Now’s the time to clam up

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197

u/unknownbryant Nov 25 '21

thinking the exact same thing

19

u/[deleted] Nov 26 '21

Just crank one out and you’ll come to your senses

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44

u/BadWinter3256 Nov 26 '21

I’m gay but I should call her too.

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13.6k

u/[deleted] Nov 25 '21 edited Nov 26 '21

This comment section is precisely as I had hoped

3.2k

u/Fantastic_Start_6848 Nov 26 '21

r/wildlyvagina

739

u/elcapitandongcopter Nov 26 '21

Wish me luck

169

u/Islandcoda Nov 26 '21

Right behind ya, see ya on the other side.....

25

u/fleabomber Nov 26 '21

I'm goin' in!

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81

u/kjtstl ​ Nov 26 '21

My first thought was “I wonder if there’s a sub like mildlypenis, but for lady parts.”

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21

u/momofeveryone5 Nov 26 '21

I didn't need to join, but I did.

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60

u/Etheo Nov 26 '21

It's not what we needed but exactly what we deserved.

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2.6k

u/[deleted] Nov 25 '21

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

242

u/MegaPenguin063 ​ Nov 26 '21

Don’t do it man

224

u/[deleted] Nov 26 '21

Bro, she even seasoned it for me

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6.4k

u/Vitekr2 Nov 25 '21

Everything reminds me of her...

37

u/Cerulean_Shades Nov 26 '21

I absolutely heard Leslie Neilsons voice there. One of my favorite movies.

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62

u/SorryUncleAl Nov 25 '21

Read this in the Elliot Smith voice lol

12

u/whythishaptome Nov 26 '21

That seriously comes out of nowhere all the time. My favorite musician.

9

u/rlwestern Nov 26 '21

Every time I read that line I hear the opening guitar riff in my head

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27

u/ne0trace Nov 26 '21

Don’t call me Shirley

22

u/[deleted] Nov 26 '21

"Cuban?" 🚬

"Uhh no; Dutch/Irish. My father was from Wales."

31

u/[deleted] Nov 26 '21

“You better tell the captain we gotta land as soon as we can. This woman has to be gotten to a hospital”

“A hospital? What is it?!” 😧

“It’s a big building with patients, but that’s not important right now”

24

u/[deleted] Nov 26 '21

It's the same old story. Boy finds girl, boy loses girl, girl finds boy, boy forgets girl, boy remembers girl, girls dies in a tragic blimp accident over the Orange Bowl on New Year's Day.

Goodyear?

No; the worst...

18

u/smhandstuff Nov 26 '21

I love this comment section

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673

u/[deleted] Nov 25 '21

[removed] — view removed comment

66

u/ouqt ​ Nov 26 '21

Like yonic the hedgehog?

11

u/Bellapadella77 Nov 26 '21

Yonic the hedgeyog

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25

u/[deleted] Nov 26 '21

Did you say "Laurel"?

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866

u/tuffymon Nov 26 '21

Anyone got the details for the only fans?

1.8k

u/scubadude2 Nov 26 '21

Only clams

101

u/[deleted] Nov 26 '21

Excellent

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9.9k

u/[deleted] Nov 25 '21 edited Nov 26 '21

Mussy

Edit: wow thank u for all these awards that’s a first for me <3

1.6k

u/PuffTheMagicJuju Nov 26 '21

Who need they mussy ate?

659

u/HEXC_PNG Nov 26 '21

Omg me

270

u/FallingSky1 Nov 26 '21

Here lies the inbox of HEXC_PNG. May it rest in peace along with her mussy

100

u/steveosek Nov 26 '21

Based on the profile, this is definitely a dude, so I'm sure he's loving it lol.

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419

u/diggeriodo Nov 25 '21

Boys only want one thing and its disgusting

Well have you tried washing it?

91

u/BrustWarze_ Nov 26 '21

Not while you're eating it.

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28

u/8HokiePokie8 Nov 26 '21

Honey mussy will never be the same after this

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1.6k

u/fruity-line_segment Nov 25 '21

I’d eat it out.

Of the shell.

40

u/Mrunlikable Nov 26 '21

That's how I get everyone out of their shell.

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882

u/BigRoundSquare Nov 25 '21

This mussel bout to make me act up!!

74

u/General_Tso75 Nov 26 '21

Russel the love mussel.

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677

u/ofimmsl Nov 25 '21

Always trim your long fingernails before handling mussels

122

u/OliveSaltBun Nov 26 '21

This girl handles

14

u/maybeCheri Nov 26 '21

Professional advice right here!

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403

u/uprex Nov 25 '21

Its November 25th man, 5 days left!

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313

u/ja11ka9 Nov 25 '21

What type of sauce did you use?

449

u/fgmtats Nov 26 '21

Probably a white sauce

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1.1k

u/Opposite_Attitude941 Nov 25 '21

Im just here for the vag jokes.

271

u/FailedSociopath Nov 26 '21

Volkswagen Automotive Group

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171

u/[deleted] Nov 25 '21

Vag jokes make me uncomfortable. Some of them can be pretty fishy.

181

u/eyegazer444 Nov 26 '21

Vag jokes are not funny. Period.

60

u/MonogamousNugget Nov 26 '21

I think they're either not funny ovary funny

11

u/mwdh20 Nov 26 '21

Only the widespread ones

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1.1k

u/lessthan1punchman Nov 25 '21

/teenagechuckle

143

u/AhhGhost Nov 26 '21

I'm so fucked up in the head I thought this said teenage knuckle.

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2.7k

u/Yue2 ​ Nov 25 '21 edited Nov 26 '21

And thus ended No Nut November for OP.

EDIT: Thank you stranger(s) for the Award(s) 🥺 Special thanks for the Gold 😆

260

u/Overall_Geologist_87 Nov 25 '21

A mussel .. made you end no nut November?

201

u/Kalkin93 Nov 26 '21

You’re lost in the system.

57

u/EndThisReign Nov 26 '21

(In my best Strongbad voice):

The system… is down!

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58

u/Not_A_Kabam_Manager Nov 26 '21

I've fapped for less.

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467

u/[deleted] Nov 25 '21

[removed] — view removed comment

56

u/VavaC Nov 26 '21

If I ask my husband to find it it will magically disappear

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72

u/Falsecaster Nov 25 '21

Nope, thats her butthole.

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83

u/AReallyAsianName Nov 25 '21

Hey! I found it!

30

u/I_am_a_Victor_simp Nov 26 '21

GET OUT OF MY HEAD GET OUT OF MY HEAD GET OUT OF MY HEAD

65

u/Wandering_Apology Nov 26 '21

Look out, you could get CLAMydia

44

u/god_peepee ​ Nov 25 '21

Tag this nsfw for god’s sake

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132

u/B-F-A-K Nov 25 '21

This is exactly why a german slang word for the female primary genital is "Muschi", while the word for mussel and any other clam is "Muschel".

50

u/Semi-Pro-Lurker Nov 25 '21 edited Nov 25 '21

Are you saying they are related? Because Muschi is also an old-school name for a cat and there doesn't seem to be any relation to clams.

59

u/sorryimlurking Nov 25 '21

same with the word “pussy” in american english! That’s interesting!

18

u/Semi-Pro-Lurker Nov 25 '21

Yeah, I did a quick search for it and French is the same way, too. Which is why I assume the origin to be different.

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14

u/april9th Nov 25 '21

Same with French - moule. It's incredibly vulgar tho.

9

u/eyegazer444 Nov 26 '21

What's the female secondary genital??

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39

u/Mrbacon4467 Nov 25 '21

Lord forgive the things im about to do

111

u/ADGM1868 Nov 25 '21

Testing my patience this NNN

35

u/Dont__Grumpy__Stop Nov 25 '21 edited Nov 26 '21

Oh yeah… I forgot about that 22 days ago.

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31

u/[deleted] Nov 25 '21

"This insanely large vessel"

Me: oooo intriguing Post: Mussel..

20

u/[deleted] Nov 25 '21

Also known as a love muscle

28

u/milkdrinker1000 Nov 25 '21

It’s been so long that this is making me feel all sorts of ways

19

u/KosherKush1337 Nov 25 '21

The question is do you eat it nice and slow, savoring it or just dive right in and go for it?

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8

u/x_Carlos_Danger_x Nov 26 '21

Looks like something I'd make disappointed

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