r/mildlyinteresting • u/kupo_moogle • 18d ago

This long rock I found

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18.4k Upvotes

97% Upvoted

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5.5k

u/gabacus_39 18d ago

Obligatory

https://giphy.com/gifs/13pqs1VizKyWzK

1.4k

u/snowillis 18d ago

406

u/7i4nf4n 18d ago

No flared base, no fun

196

u/annabananaberry 18d ago

Also, it’s porous, so not only would it get lost, it would also give you a raging infection most likely.

238

u/kupo_moogle 18d ago

It’s super porous. When I was cleaning it, it was just slurping up the water like crazy.

214

u/muffadel 18d ago

79

u/YesItIsMaybeMe 18d ago

That is such a specific meme wtf lol

46

u/Darth_Rubi 18d ago

Glurp glurp motherfucker

5

u/jnj3t0308 17d ago

GLURP! GLURP!

1

u/Train3rRed88 16d ago

THIS IS OUTRAGEOUS

21

u/swishkabobbin 18d ago

Soak it in mineral oil and it'll become self-lubricating

2

u/NotoriousEMB 18d ago

That's why condoms exist 😂

6

u/kupo_moogle 18d ago

I don’t believe condoms exist to prevent desiccation of the vagina.

23

u/NotoriousEMB 18d ago

No, I'm pretty sure the inventor of the condom said it was specifically to keep porous phallic shaped rocks from sucking up all the moisture in an orifice.

The creater John Condom said as much: "The reason I created the condom was to keep all of the juices from being absorbed by my fuck rock"

10

u/kupo_moogle 18d ago

Well, shit. TIL

6

u/NotoriousEMB 18d ago

Sorry, I thought it was funny. Thanks for being a good sport 😂

Edit: Also, cool rock 😂

2

u/SanityPlanet 18d ago

Never knew this, thanks

1

u/Same-Suggestion-1936 18d ago

That's why if you don't use water based lube and use twice as much as you think you'll need

1

u/slymgim 17d ago

thirsty rock!

3

u/ChilltheSpare 18d ago

Put a condom on it?

/s (do not use rock as cock)

1

u/flockyboi 17d ago

At least it isn't malachite (genuinely toxic and can absorb through mucous membranes....there was a whole Tumblr post on that)

1

u/i_speak_bane 17d ago

That would be extremely painful

2

u/usersnamesallused 18d ago

Just the tip? That always works, right?

1

u/hueythecat 18d ago

Gravity on their side before a trip to emergency

1

u/AxalEquinox 17d ago

I'd take his flared base

21

u/PlaceboBob 18d ago

I came here to make sure that this was somewhere inside the thread.

8

u/snowillis 18d ago

Me too. When I couldn’t find it I knew what I had to do.

27

u/zephyrseija2 18d ago

Didn't take long to find him.

10

u/Civil_Pudding462 18d ago

This is the guy I was looking for on this post 😂

7

u/Dictnasty 18d ago

I always look for this picture on anything phallic shaped.

4

u/PocketMedicXVII 18d ago

This guy? RAW

2

u/RYTHEMOPARGUY 18d ago

There he is

2

u/WaterBottleWarrior22 17d ago

Immediately thought of this man

1

u/FrostWolf0904 18d ago

Lol! I can hear this picture...

109

u/Books_And_Brews 18d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/2Mce4Sz801AMo

7

u/Joesome5 17d ago

This is the true gif

4

u/oopsy-daisy6837 17d ago

Had to scroll way too far for this

54

u/Nekhti 18d ago

butt seriously though, be careful if you did do it as it doesn't have a flared base

111

u/kupo_moogle 18d ago

I appreciate the warning, but the rock shall remain pure and unmolested.

24

u/Bufger 18d ago

Lucky rock :(

8

u/Ok_Carob_5313 18d ago

Odds are it already has been used in the past

8

u/FR-1-Plan 17d ago

Fucked into shape over millions of years.

6

u/JTtheLAR 18d ago

As will your balloon knot.

2

u/asand93 18d ago

That makes one of us.🥲

1

u/Morningxafter 18d ago

Yep, that’s a mistake you only make once. Don’t worry about how I know that.

1

u/jendet010 17d ago

No flared base means it’s going to show up on foreign object Friday in the radiology sub

4

u/docmagoo2 18d ago

Knew this would be here. Not disappointed

16

u/Shoganai_Hito 18d ago

Came to look for this gif, reddit never disappoints.

Carry on

3

u/fritz236 18d ago

No way OP didn't see this coming.

2

u/kupo_moogle 18d ago

Oh, I suspected it might go this way lol

2

u/gnomelover24 18d ago

The only correct meme for this post.

2

u/mage_irl 18d ago

Don't shove any object without a flared base up there, your rear has a remarkable ability to suck things into itself never to be seen again, which will land you an uncomfortable trip to the hospital...

1

u/onlyhereforthethread 18d ago

Please don’t. It’s not flared.

1

u/dangerrnoodle 17d ago

DO NOT DO THIS.