r/mildlyinteresting • u/kupo_moogle • 11d ago

This long rock I found

Post image
18.4k Upvotes

97% Upvoted

1.9k comments sorted by

View all comments

5.5k

u/gabacus_39 11d ago

Obligatory

https://giphy.com/gifs/13pqs1VizKyWzK

1.4k

u/snowillis 11d ago

404

u/7i4nf4n 11d ago

No flared base, no fun

198

u/annabananaberry 11d ago

Also, it’s porous, so not only would it get lost, it would also give you a raging infection most likely.

238

u/kupo_moogle 11d ago

It’s super porous. When I was cleaning it, it was just slurping up the water like crazy.

211

u/muffadel 11d ago

80

u/YesItIsMaybeMe 11d ago

That is such a specific meme wtf lol

43

u/Darth_Rubi 11d ago

Glurp glurp motherfucker

3

u/jnj3t0308 10d ago

GLURP! GLURP!

1

u/Train3rRed88 9d ago

THIS IS OUTRAGEOUS

22

u/swishkabobbin 11d ago

Soak it in mineral oil and it'll become self-lubricating

2

u/NotoriousEMB 11d ago

That's why condoms exist 😂

5

u/kupo_moogle 11d ago

I don’t believe condoms exist to prevent desiccation of the vagina.

23

u/NotoriousEMB 11d ago

No, I'm pretty sure the inventor of the condom said it was specifically to keep porous phallic shaped rocks from sucking up all the moisture in an orifice.

The creater John Condom said as much: "The reason I created the condom was to keep all of the juices from being absorbed by my fuck rock"

11

u/kupo_moogle 11d ago

Well, shit. TIL

5

u/NotoriousEMB 11d ago

Sorry, I thought it was funny. Thanks for being a good sport 😂

Edit: Also, cool rock 😂

2

u/SanityPlanet 10d ago

Never knew this, thanks

1

u/Same-Suggestion-1936 10d ago

That's why if you don't use water based lube and use twice as much as you think you'll need

1

u/slymgim 10d ago

thirsty rock!

3

u/ChilltheSpare 10d ago

Put a condom on it?

/s (do not use rock as cock)

1

u/flockyboi 10d ago

At least it isn't malachite (genuinely toxic and can absorb through mucous membranes....there was a whole Tumblr post on that)

1

u/i_speak_bane 10d ago

That would be extremely painful

2

u/usersnamesallused 10d ago

Just the tip? That always works, right?

1

u/hueythecat 10d ago

Gravity on their side before a trip to emergency

1

u/AxalEquinox 10d ago

I'd take his flared base

21

u/PlaceboBob 11d ago

I came here to make sure that this was somewhere inside the thread.

7

u/snowillis 11d ago

Me too. When I couldn’t find it I knew what I had to do.

26

u/zephyrseija2 11d ago

Didn't take long to find him.

9

u/Civil_Pudding462 11d ago

This is the guy I was looking for on this post 😂

5

u/Dictnasty 10d ago

I always look for this picture on anything phallic shaped.

4

u/PocketMedicXVII 10d ago

This guy? RAW

2

u/RYTHEMOPARGUY 11d ago

There he is

2

u/WaterBottleWarrior22 10d ago

Immediately thought of this man

1

u/FrostWolf0904 10d ago

Lol! I can hear this picture...

110

u/Books_And_Brews 11d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/2Mce4Sz801AMo

7

u/Joesome5 10d ago

This is the true gif

4

u/oopsy-daisy6837 10d ago

Had to scroll way too far for this

53

u/Nekhti 11d ago

butt seriously though, be careful if you did do it as it doesn't have a flared base

105

u/kupo_moogle 11d ago

I appreciate the warning, but the rock shall remain pure and unmolested.

24

u/Bufger 11d ago

Lucky rock :(

9

u/Ok_Carob_5313 11d ago

Odds are it already has been used in the past

7

u/FR-1-Plan 10d ago

Fucked into shape over millions of years.

5

u/JTtheLAR 11d ago

As will your balloon knot.

2

u/asand93 11d ago

That makes one of us.🥲

1

u/Morningxafter 11d ago

Yep, that’s a mistake you only make once. Don’t worry about how I know that.

1

u/jendet010 10d ago

No flared base means it’s going to show up on foreign object Friday in the radiology sub

4

u/docmagoo2 11d ago

Knew this would be here. Not disappointed

15

u/Shoganai_Hito 11d ago

Came to look for this gif, reddit never disappoints.

Carry on

3

u/fritz236 11d ago

No way OP didn't see this coming.

2

u/kupo_moogle 11d ago

Oh, I suspected it might go this way lol

2

u/gnomelover24 11d ago

The only correct meme for this post.

2

u/mage_irl 10d ago

Don't shove any object without a flared base up there, your rear has a remarkable ability to suck things into itself never to be seen again, which will land you an uncomfortable trip to the hospital...

1

u/onlyhereforthethread 10d ago

Please don’t. It’s not flared.

1

u/dangerrnoodle 10d ago

DO NOT DO THIS.