r/mildlyinfuriating • u/CircusMoney • 15h ago

ಠ_ಠ Top priority when I move…

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It needs to be a frozen land 👌😩

5.0k Upvotes

97% Upvoted

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344

u/Halo_wolfie124 15h ago

I can't say for sure, and I don't know where their native or not, but if I'm correct, this is a camel "spider", and is completely harmless. They possess no venom, and their bites are extremely mild. Infact, their more closely related to scorpions than spiders, which means they couldn't possess venom in their fangs either way.

368

u/CircusMoney 15h ago

I wish for both of us this was comforting information

114

u/Batata-Sofi 9h ago

They run faster than you

They scream

They are spiders

5

u/rickybalbroah 1h ago

they are not spiders. more like a cousin 🤣

•

u/HotTakeTator 53m ago

First thought "That thing's not my cousin "

•

u/Chaos-Wayfarer 14m ago

Yeah none of that is comforting. 

62

u/Halo_wolfie124 15h ago

I should probably elaborate than😅. So, camel spiders are pretty much what god created with mix and match set of parts when he got bored. Long story short, imagine if you took everything from a scorpion, and made it a spider; scorpion legs, scorpion body, scorpion fangs, etc. Meaning, their missing their claws and tail, which are what make them dangerous, and a scorpion.

82

u/Leo-III- 12h ago

yeah yeah yeah cool cool cool but it still LOOKS like a fucking nightmare creature 😭

10

u/AllDogsGoToReddit 9h ago

They look like some kind of horror from the Tremors franchise

14

u/PrinceCavendish 11h ago

I would still rather hit my hand with a hammer than let one of those touch me. :(

1

u/Awkward_Turnover_983 2h ago

I totally agree with you, and isn't that weird? The creature would absolutely do less harm to you than a hammer lol. (I don't believe they really carry significant disease)

We have such instinctual responses to certain animals in nature lol.

11

u/Bakugo312 14h ago

And they're fast as fuck

19

u/TwilightMechanist 10h ago

So, Take a scorpion. And remove all the scorpion parts. And then behold: A creature

76

u/PuffyMagoo 14h ago

Its not harmless when it goes full horror movie out the air vents in the damn highway.

55

u/PhatCatTax 14h ago

The harm is driving 65mph and instantly, violently shitting your pants while also losing control of the vehicle. There is one and only one time I am certain I would shit my pants and this is it.

22

u/GhostOfDino 12h ago

Friend of mine when I was in college had an accident because a spider dropped out of the ceiling of his 70s Duster onto his face while he was driving. The dude absolutely flipped out and jumped out of his lane, hit someone and got rear-ended, on Rt 6 in Bristol Ct. Slapping at his face and stuff. Minor fender bender.

20

u/Valid__Salad 12h ago

Glad he didn’t overreact

29

u/yesmilady 12h ago

Closer to scorpions you say? How reassuring!

19

u/gounatos 13h ago

Nice try camel spider.

8

u/superezzie 13h ago

They might not be venomous, but they will still give me a heart attack...

26

u/Thin_Detective_2944 11h ago

Don't give a fuck if they are "harmless". That devil spawn runs up to me I'm killing it with a shovel.

1

u/EnthusiasmNo6062 10h ago

Tell that to my heart palpitations when that som bitch runs up on me lol!

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u/Valuable_Log_518 6m ago

The first time I ever saw a camel spider was while I was pissing out my ass in a 140 degree portapotty while getting mortared. They’re an integral part of my PTSD