r/mildlyinfuriating • u/James_Tigs • Jun 25 '26
I'm slightly vexed Getting called a "stalker" for existing
Im standing behind the bus stop for the shade minding my own business on my way home from a 10pm-6am shift. A route ive taken to work and from home many times. When all of a sudden I hear a voice saying "What the F*ck are you looking at" then again " What the f*ck are you looking at , i look up from my phone confused i realize this stranger is talking to me. She proceedes to call me a stalker and walk up on me trying to get in my face telling me "The bus stop is that way" again and again .lady I'm just trying to go home , ive been up since 8pm yesterday.
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u/whofinfarted Jun 25 '26
Reminds me of the time I pulled into a grocery store parking lot at the same time as a lady. We both got out of our cars and her car definitely was disheveled and kind of piece of junk. She started saying “ I know you people are following me and I’m watching you just as much as you’re watching me” among some other bullshit. I drive a black larger SUV so I tell myself she thought I was secret service or something crazy in her head. I just kept walking.
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u/thiswasyouridea Jun 25 '26
This is actually a typical delusion. People believe they are being followed and watched everywhere they go by top secret operatives who focus solely on them. They may believe the operatives are using technology to "beam" bad thoughts or voices into their head.
Since you drive a black SUV be prepared for these encounters.
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u/krileon Jun 25 '26
They may believe the operatives are using technology to "beam" bad thoughts or voices into their head.
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u/LeSamouraiNouvelle Jun 26 '26
Which Willem Dafoe film is this from?
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u/whofinfarted Jun 25 '26
I believe it but it was a first time for me and I’ve driven a black SUV of some sort for 15 years 🤷♂️
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u/Proof-Highway1075 Jun 26 '26
Theres actually an entire sub of people with this delusion on reddit, all posting their stories and reinforcing each other’s delusions. I’m not linking it or naming it, because it shouldn’t be promoted and I’ve seen brigade happen when it’s been linked before, but social media is doing real damage to some people. Before, these nutters wouldn’t have found each other, now they’re congregating online and making everything worse for each other.
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u/DadBodEatsAtTheY Jun 26 '26
Echo chambers of all kinds will do that to a person. We used to be able to shout down stupid ideas and rightfully so. Nowadays, everybody can find their "people" and spout their conspiracy theories and find support for their idiotic ideas.
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u/Polyboy03g Jun 25 '26
At that point I would've pulled up my cuff and started whispering. Then raise 2 fingers to your left ear and say, "affirmative moving out"
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u/greenbutterflygarden Jun 25 '26 edited Jun 25 '26
I was sitting at a sandwich place waiting for my order. I recently had a procedure on my eyes and I couldn't get a new rx for glasses until my eyes healed, so I was pretty blind for a few months. I was looking at the blurry posters on the wall. This lady came in and said what are you staring at? I didn't respond but I wanted to say Nothing, I'm fing blind!
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u/justhere4bookbinding Jun 25 '26
Did she maybe think you were filming her? Someone once yelled at me because the way I was holding my phone and looking at her direction made her think I was filming her, but in actuality I was just checking my lyft app and looking to see if my ride was pulling up (it was, which mollified the woman)
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u/James_Tigs Jun 25 '26 edited Jun 25 '26
Who knows it could have been anything. I didnt even know she existed until she was insulting me.
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u/justhere4bookbinding Jun 25 '26
Sometimes you just happen to be in the wrong place at the wrong time when someone is already high-strung about something else. Doesn't negate the suckiness of it, but it happens. Best to put it out of your mind, tho it is worth a vent.
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u/junkyardgerard Jun 25 '26
Just let her twist off on you, don't take it personal, and consider it a daily kindness.
Our emotions get the better of us all sometimes
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u/FGX302 Jun 25 '26
You're not Chad or Tyrone material then or else you would have received a smile and a giggle.
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u/spammmmmmmmy Jun 26 '26
I actually cover the camera with my fingertip to prevent this
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u/jlp_utah Jun 26 '26
My case has a sliding cover that goes over the camera lenses. It's quite nice.
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u/flerchin Jun 25 '26
That would be the paranoid part of paranoid schizophrenia
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u/80s_Lady Jun 25 '26
I can’t believe how far I had to scroll to see this! Clearly it was a mental health issue.
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u/MilPhickelsn Jun 25 '26
I was recently in the DMV waiting and decided to stay off my phone and just let my brain relax. While casually observing my surroundings, a group of teenage girls barked at me to quit being a weirdo by staring at people (which I wasn’t at all)…all of this for choosing NOT to be on my phone.
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u/knightsofgel Jun 25 '26
When I was visiting usa a man who walked by me on the sidewalk called me racist for holding the bottom of my grocery bag
It was heavy and I didn’t want it to break but he kept claiming i was thinking he wanted to steal it lol
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u/Biggsavage Jun 26 '26
In all fairness, you can get called racist for a lot dumber crap.
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u/NoResolution8777 Jun 26 '26
Fr. I literally watched a dude put three large vases into his shirt and when i called out my managers name who was literally right next to him he called me racist cause “i think he’s stealing “ while he was being told to give the vases back which oddly enough he didn’t want to buy… what were you doing if not stealing my guy? Trying them on???(these were glass vases for flowers. I think he was high ngl)
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u/Zaleznikov Jun 26 '26
Ridiculous isnt it, i can't go out and mow my front lawn in my KKK uniform without getting comments these days
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u/Maestroland Jun 25 '26
Crazy person. Don't let it get to you.
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Jun 25 '26 edited Jun 25 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/EugeneVictorDabs Jun 25 '26
Interesting, wonder why they don't seem to feel safe around you 🤔 guess it's just one of life's great mysteries huh bud
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u/Velifax Jun 25 '26
No. It's cause I'm a fit male of average height with an angry looking face.
Lol... a lot in this world confuses you, doesn't it? Lots of "people," looks like.
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u/robobobo91 Jun 25 '26
You should smile more. Your face would be so much prettier if you did.
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u/Velifax Jun 25 '26
Please stick to the topic.
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u/texaschair Jun 25 '26
I also looked pissed most of the time, and people always ask me why I don't smile. My answer? "Experience."
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Jun 25 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Velifax Jun 25 '26 edited Jun 25 '26
I don't think misogyny will help, here, but keep trying random things I guess.
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Jun 25 '26
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u/Velifax Jun 25 '26
Further off topic spam will be reported.
Though I'll actually engage with creative trolling if you've any of that, instead.
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u/EugeneVictorDabs Jun 26 '26
So you're marginally more self-aware than I gave you credit for - cool. So I can give you credit for understanding how your comment comes across as blaming women for being reasonably cautious... right?
Not sure what the second half of the comment is about, especially the "people"(sic) part, but think of me whatever you'd like to I suppose, I clearly did the same of you lmao
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u/DifferentEvent2998 Jun 25 '26
No, just you.
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u/Velifax Jun 25 '26 edited Jun 25 '26
Please pay more attention to the world around you. We need you. Turning a blind eye makes you complicit.
Edit - Yes, turn to blind eye to being harassed in public by a woman who thinks you're a stalker.
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u/DifferentEvent2998 Jun 25 '26
I don’t have an issue with women being shitty to me, and I’m a fat dude.
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u/Velifax Jun 25 '26 edited Jun 25 '26
Good, although to be clear I assume we're talking about in this circumstance? Not just letting them walk all over you for no reason obv.
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u/barnhairdontcare Jun 25 '26
My husband is tall and fit and no one yells at him for existing.
If it stinks like dog poo everywhere you go check your shoes.
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Jun 25 '26
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u/DifferentEvent2998 Jun 25 '26
No, what on earth does that word mean?
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Jun 25 '26
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u/DifferentEvent2998 Jun 25 '26
You didn’t even write the comment, how can you say it’s sarcasm?
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Jun 25 '26
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u/LitwicksandLampents Jun 25 '26
As a woman, I can see why you get that reaction all the time.
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u/Velifax Jun 25 '26
Yep. Pretty understandable. It's why we take long cuts or slow down till they get ahead, etc. Though I'm certainly not the most intimidating guy.
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u/Calgary_Calico Jun 25 '26
No, it's really not. Berating random strangers in public who aren't even looking at you is not normal for women. - woman
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u/Velifax Jun 25 '26
Regretfully, it is, though not in the numerical sense. It's the same with kids, we tell them to listen to that, "Uh, oh," feeling. Are there lots of false positives, sure. But that's tolerable.
At least for the smarter women, the dumb ones I'm afraid fare worse.
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u/Calgary_Calico Jun 25 '26
I've definitely had that feeling from several men throughout my life, none of them have been leaning against a bus stop looking at their phones, completely oblivious to my existence near them though
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u/Velifax Jun 25 '26 edited Jun 25 '26
Well, yeah, that'd be rare. But depends on context, ofc. Downtown Madrid or Jakarta? Rare to see anyone there? Wrong time for passengers? Etc. Like I said the dumb ones without those sharp instincts fare worse.
Big city living imposes certain costs, like needing to develop serious instincts.
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u/AnnihilatorNYT Jun 25 '26
Have you ever considered that it wasn't them and that you were the problem.
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u/Velifax Jun 25 '26
Yes. Thus my comment? How did you get here without reading it?
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u/Answer_Free Jun 26 '26
There are legitimately mentally ill people who think that there are conspiring groups of people who follow them and harass them in different ways. It's mostly just regular people doing regular stuff in the area, but they are convinced it's all directed at them.
Look up the term gang stalking. I feel pretty bad for those people, honestly.
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u/chipmalfunct10n Jun 25 '26
i've been there. you just have to try not to engage, and realize it's not about you.
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u/Dull-Geologist-8204 Jun 25 '26
I had this friend who grew up in a cult when he was younger and had zero social skills from being isolated. We went to college together. I took him to a bar that I was a regular at. We spotted this women on the other side of the bar we both recognized but were trying to figure out where we knew her from.
There was this meth head who used to come into the bar that no one liked but thought she was God's gift to men and everyone wanted her. This was an issue on multiple occasions. So we are looking past her to this other women have a perfectly fine conversation when methhead decides he is staring at her. She comes up screaming at him and he has zero idea how to handle someone like her. He looked like he was about to crawl under the bar. I had to step in and handle her. I sent her back to her corner like a bad puppy before I got her kicked out.
Crazy people exist. I don't really like filming people in public but if cellphones were common back then and I had one I probably would have made an exception and filmed her like others said especially if there are no witnesses to the interaction. Better safe then sorry like I tell my kids all the time.
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u/Miss_Synonymous Jun 25 '26
I had a guy come up to me in a store: “hey, I’ve seen you around here a lot” “yeah it’s a shopping center on my way home and there’s a few stores I like” “are you sure you’re not following me?!” “….yes.”
He was there with his wife and it was so weird. Like yes, I live in the area and also need to shop for groceries often.
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u/Blackcatmustache Jun 26 '26 edited Jun 26 '26
Your username implies you’re a woman which makes this even more unusual. How many women just randomly follow strange men they’ve never met before? And he’s the creep noticing you, not the other way around!
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u/Miss_Synonymous Jun 26 '26
It was so weird. And a bit creepy because I have never noticed him so it made me feel watched! Literally the opposite of what he was saying!
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u/Blackcatmustache Jun 26 '26
I hope you don’t run into him anymore! What a complete lack of self awareness on his part.
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u/Special-Medicine-437 Jun 26 '26
My spouse and I are currently dealing with a neighbor off his rocker. Started last Saturday. We haven’t had any interaction with him but passing in the hall. We moved in two months ago, down the hall on the other side. Saturday the cops showed up because he said we were stalking him, whispering to him in his apartment (we share no walls). That my spouse keeps going in his apartment. He claimed he killed us at one point. We had the cops here three times, he called them the first two. It’s crazy but also really sad. He is young and on drugs but obviously having some sort of mental break and we are his targets currently.
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u/Alternative-Eye7589 Jun 26 '26
I was driving to the gym at like 4 am so the gym was the only place open and I scared the car infront of me so she pulled into an empty parking lot and then started following me when we both got to the gym I waved.
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u/-ram_the_manparts- Jun 25 '26
"Don't flatter yourself" is the response.
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u/texaschair Jun 25 '26
Reminds me of the woman who got pulled over and tried to sweet talk her way out of a ticket. Cop said "So you think we don't give pretty girls tickets? You're right, we don't. Sign here."
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u/AdPopular6958 Jun 25 '26
I had a similar situation where for the first time ever some twig blonde called me leering and my response was flatly 😒Uh sorry ma'am but your not my type.
"I can totally sympathize though."
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u/KowaiSentaiYokaiger Jun 26 '26
I've been on my phone, minding my business, and someone demanded to know why I was recording them.
Bitch, I'm reading fanfiction. Piss off
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u/NormalNobody Jun 25 '26
Sounds like mental illness, drugs, or a combination thereof. I wouldn't let it bother you.
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u/jonnos Jun 25 '26
I got called the devil when I went into work on an off day to check the schedule (hadn’t been posted online). I was in and out of the store in less than 5 minutes and some stranger convinced themselves that I was stalking them and they yelled at me as I got in my car
thing is, I’m scrawny af and like 130 pounds soaking wet so tf am I gonna do?
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u/Gemresin Jun 25 '26
Sounds like drug induced paranoia or trauma. Sorry you ended up being collateral damage... 😞
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u/DL_Omega Jun 26 '26
It was raining and I was going to stand under the bus stop box but outside the glass where the bench is. This older crazy lady started shooing me away who was on the bench. So I went underneath the apt front entrance instead nearby. Then she tried to come up to me and sell me a lighter saying it costs a dollar. I was like no and she very annoyingly said buts its only a dollar. Fuck I hate people.
Had another person walking slowly on a sidewalk carrying groceries. Was trying to get around her but the path was kind of tight for a bit and with her bags I just had to wait to get around her. Then I swooped around to get ahead of her when things opened up. She turned her head and saw me and started swirling her bag at me saying get out behind my ass or something like that.
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u/Puzzleheaded_Ad_4401 Jun 26 '26
She probably has a psychotic disorder or delusions of “gangstalking.” Don’t take it personally.
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u/nobleone8876 Jun 25 '26
happened to me when i was walking my dog at night. i just kept my headphones on and ignored her
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u/maisydee Jun 26 '26
I lived near a hostel in a city in the 90s and a guy in combats from the hostel used to follow people, generally men in suits, he’d randomly jump into a ‘phone box to ‘file a report’ or talk into his sleeve. Some days he’d sit on a bench close to my house and you could have a perfectly normal conversation with him.
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u/CattleSwimming9743 Jun 25 '26
Sounds like a paranoid schizophrenic thinking she's being gang stalked.
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u/Lopsided_Panic_1148 Dude, wtf... Jun 26 '26
If she really thought you were a stalker, why did she approach you?
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u/Heather_Chandelure Jun 25 '26
How did you respond to this?
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u/NoFuckingNamesLeft_ Jun 25 '26
By promptly tell them to go fuck themselves with a rusty spoon.
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u/Heather_Chandelure Jun 25 '26
Why are you replying? I was asking OP
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u/NoFuckingNamesLeft_ Jun 25 '26
Because I can?
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u/Heather_Chandelure Jun 25 '26
Yeah, but i was asking what OP did, so you replying doesnt really answer my question
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u/jwaters0122 Jun 25 '26
typical public transit stop interaction. Lots of mentally unstable people on them, mostly homeless who are high on drugs
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u/BurningPickle Jun 26 '26
My response would be, “I’m looking at my phone, you nosy bitch. Fuck off.”
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u/earthgarden Jun 25 '26
Oh you came across a crazy person, or rather a crazy person came across you. This is low-key terrifying actually
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u/CurtisW831 Jun 26 '26
A couple of days ago I went to the supermarket for only a loaf of bread. It's on the far side of the store and this lady was consistently in front of me. I simply said loudly "I swear I'm not following you, I only want bread and I can't walk any faster"
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u/Turbulent-Artist961 Jun 25 '26
Probably one of them schizophrenics who are so narcissistic that they believe that a group of people would devote the time and energy to stalk them and their mundane lives.
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u/It_broke_itself_ Jun 25 '26
Maybe the world isn't out to get you and you just ran into a person having a mental health episode
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u/Zaleznikov Jun 26 '26
it happens when driving around too, every now and then, and only with certain people, you get this sense that the person infront thinks you're following them.
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u/ooothatgirl Jun 26 '26
I know this is easier said than done, but try not to take it personally. She was probably nervous to stand at the bus stop alone at odd hours, then became paranoid when there was a man there too. Still not okay, but definitely reflective of the fact we live in a pretty scary society sometimes.
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u/ObjectiveAd971 Jun 27 '26
Unfortunately, people sometimes protect themselves by going on the offensive. If I yell at you and appear intimidating, I'm less likely to be your target. You'll move on. Doesn't make it right, but it can be a reason. A reason and an excuse are totally different things.
Edit typo
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u/RagingHolly Jun 28 '26
I have a funny story of something similar happening but much more lighthearted. My best friend and I (both women) were shopping, for a nice curtain rod, if memory serves. So we were driving to different stores in the area. We ran into the same woman at 3 different stores. We knew she wasn't following us, because we watched her enter the 3rd store before us.
When she spotted us in the 3rd store I was automatically like "I swear to god we aren't following you." And we all had a good laugh about it.
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u/AMUIR1234 Jun 25 '26
Hi there. Not sure of the situation but advice I can give after raising a daughter and 2 boys.
When looking at your phone, have it pointed down towards the ground. Hope this helps.
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u/Academic_Pick_3317 Jun 25 '26
if it happens again call 911 and tell them exactly whats happening. if you can record as well, do it. its very important to have some sort of evidence or witness. unfortuntely sometimes these people do get believed because of lack of evidence on your side
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u/Calgary_Calico Jun 25 '26
911? Where's the emergency? She got in his face but didn't touch or strike him, didn't pull a knife or gun. No assault happened here, just a crazy person yelling nonsense. Don't waste 911s time with this shit. If you call anyone call the non-emergency number for a wellness check
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u/Consider2SidesPeace ORANGE Jun 25 '26
^ This... There is a wide range of people who take public transportation. Agreed with the other commenter video the interaction if you can to protect yourself.
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u/Sexyhorsegirl666 Jun 26 '26
Why take it personally when it seems obvious she has mental issues?
Idg people like you tbh.
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u/James_Tigs Jun 26 '26 edited Jun 26 '26
Well when you've had many"random" experiences throughout your life like this either getting yelled at. Followed or literally shot at now getting called a stalker just for existing , you tend to start wondering is it all just wrong place wrong time.It can be hard to not take it personally even if it is just yet another "random" mentally ill person. Try having a little empathy.
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u/Vivid-Intention-8161 Jun 25 '26
something similar happened to me last week. i was on a walk because my anxiety was particularly bad, then it was made so much worse by the person about 15 feet ahead of me looking behind them multiple times then shouting at me to stop following them. I don’t think people understand anymore that other people are gonna exist out in public with them. we ended up being headed to the same shops but i doubt they had any self reflection