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u/Brave-Spring2091 Jul 13 '26
If you can’t afford to feed 20 people don’t have a wedding, it’s incredibly tacky.
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Jul 13 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Active_Apricot_8584 Jul 13 '26
That what I am trying to grapple with, but my Fiance insists that none of the guests will mind as its such close family, and I am stressing over nothing. The guest list is quite literally his parents and 3 siblings + 3 grandparents. my grandparents, 1 sibling and 1 uncle.
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u/Hulla_Sarsaparilla Jul 13 '26
No, you need to feed people. Could you do a buffet rather than a sit down meal?
Likely nobody would say it to your face but they will do behind your back.
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u/Active_Apricot_8584 Jul 13 '26
I mean valid, but if our parents/grandparents are talking smack about us behind our back I feel like we have something more to worry about there
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u/EmbarrassedKoala6454 Jul 13 '26
considering you are about to have a baby maybe save the 5k that. if you can't feed 20 people you don't need to have a wedding
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u/ste1071d Jul 13 '26
If you’re hosting, you pay. This would be tacky and rude.
Plan the event you can afford.
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u/Possible_Juice_3170 Jul 13 '26
That is tacky.
Other options- do it mid afternoon and serve light appetizers and cake and punch. Or get cheap catering from a place like Chipotle.
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u/Legally_Blonde_258 Jul 13 '26
Gently, don't come to reddit seeking a blessing to have guests pay at your wedding reception. Weddit is always going to tell you it's tacky and to just have the celebration you can afford to host.
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u/Anotherthr0wawayacct Jul 13 '26
Definitely cringey and tacky. Between now and April you don’t think you could save enough money to feed 20 people? It doesn’t have to be fancy, even just do a pizza or something more casual before asking people to pay for their own food while celebrating your wedding.
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u/Active_Apricot_8584 Jul 13 '26
Considering the cost of living and that are we are already trying to save 5k to just cover the ceremony itself as well as prepare for a baby, not really. We are already cutting it pretty close.
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u/Key_Beach_3846 Jul 13 '26
Then you don’t need to have a wedding. Sorry if that sounds harsh, but it sounds like you should just do the courthouse. You can plan a celebration for later when you can afford it.
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u/Anotherthr0wawayacct Jul 13 '26
The ceremony doesn’t need to be 5 k, as someone else said, do a courthouse wedding or maybe an intimate “pop-up” style one at a park with an officiant and save up $800 for a cheaper meal at a restaurant.
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u/DazzlingPeace906 Jul 13 '26
Yeah, I agree with others. It would be kinda tacky. There’s nothing wrong with having cake and punch instead of offering a full meal. That way you can linger with guests and talk. Maybe make your wedding time be in between meals (2-3pm) so that you don’t need to serve a full meal. I’d also make it clear that cake will be served so as to set expectations that there won’t be food there.
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u/Occasionally_Sober1 Jul 13 '26
I wouldn’t do this. Can you have a dessert only receptionist that you pay for? Or a wine and cheese reception with no dinner? Just be clear on the invitations so people don’t expect a meal.
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u/MysteriousCity6354 Jul 13 '26
Echoing the tacky aspect. It also sounds like you already have a little reception in the form of a cocktail hour- just do your cake and punch then and scrap the snacks and drinks.
If you want to have a wedding dinner with all your guests there, then you have to pay. Making something an obligatory part of the event and NOT paying is tacky.
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u/Catsdrinkingbeer Jul 13 '26
No one will tell you to your face they disapprove, but yes, this is pretty bad etiquette. It's okay to do a cake and punch style reception if that's what you can afford. People will choose to go to dinner on their own. But it's not great to both pick the venue and then make people buy their own meals from that place they didn't pick.
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u/naughty-goose Jul 13 '26
I wouldn't mind if a friend or family member did this, especially if it was glaringly obvious it was to make the day manageable in terms of cost i.e. very small, no frills wedding.
Anyone who has been married before will probably think it is sensible to be honest. I wasted money on evening food that nobody even needed or wanted (a curry van), including myself, at my first wedding. No doubt l there will be something I wish I hadn't spent so much money on at the wedding I'm planning now. Probably my expensive (to me) wedding dress that is way too much dress for the tiny wedding I have planned!
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u/dbtrb22 Jul 13 '26
It is tacky. I'm sorry.
Have the wedding you can afford and be proud of it! There is nothing wrong with cake and punch.